The Montgomery County Finger-Gun Massacre of 2013: Who Didn’t See THIS Coming?

And speaking of the Curmies…

If finger guns are made illegal, only those with fingers will have guns. No, wait..if finger's that can be be made into guns are illegal, only criminals will have fingers. No, that can't be right...

If finger guns are made illegal, only those with fingers will have guns. No, wait..if fingers that can be made into guns are illegal, only criminals will have fingers. No, that can’t be right…Stop me when we made our kids dumb enough…

Take post-Sandy Hook hysteria, add school no-tolerance idiocy, mix well in one of the most knee-jerk liberal communities in the nation, and what do you get?

A six-year-old in Maryland’s Montgomery County suspended from school for making a finger and thumb gun gesture, of course.

The NBC story concentrates on  “whether the boy understands the implications of the gesture.” What implications of the gesture? That he is about to shoot bullets out of his finger? That he intends to kill someone with all the firepower an unarmed 6-year-old can muster? That he is making a mimed reference to a Connecticut school massacre he probably doesn’t know a thing about? Why should it matter what his “intent is? It’s a hand gesture! It isn’t vulgar or threatening except to silly phobics in the school system.

This is, in order of importance,

  1. Child abuse. This young boy is being treated like a wrongdoer because the adults around him are acting like babies. Will they suspend him for making really scary faces next? Biting his pizza slice into threatening shapes?
  2. Proof of incompetence on the part of the school administrators. Why incompetence? They are stupid, that’s why. Only certifiably stupid people would think it is fair, sensible or reasonable to punish a First-grader for making a gesture kids have been making on playgrounds for hundreds of years, without a single casualty.
  3. Why many people lose respect for anti-gun zealots early in life. They forfeit all respect by acting like ninnies.

The dismaying aspect of this is ridiculous episode is that it has happened before in other schools, and clearly the message wasn’t sent clearly enough to the previous offenders–that is, the fools who victimized innocent children for miming, drawing or otherwise suggesting guns—that this kind of conduct is a career-ender. It should be; it has to be. Such irrational fearfulness, bad judgment, panic, disregard for the sensibilities of the young, lack of proportion and brain dysfunction forfeits all right to trust, and such fools must not be allowed to have power over young bodies and minds.

UPDATE: The school rescinded the suspension.

36 Comments

Filed under Education

36 responses to “The Montgomery County Finger-Gun Massacre of 2013: Who Didn’t See THIS Coming?

  1. Well, it’s really a pandemic that is affecting hundreds of cute household pets every year.

  2. Finnegan

    Given the hysteria around this that surely, the child must be witnessing, I sincerely hope one day (s)(h)e will find articles like this that will affirm h(is)(er) inescapable notion that the adults hovering around h(is)(er) youth were bat-shait crazy.

  3. wait…that kid has his hands displaying a mushroom cloud!

  4. Ray

    Good thing we have the second amendment, otherwise they’d have to amputate.

  5. WHEREAS rabid and manic hoplophobia has taken control of many components of society, substantial subsections of those components proceed so far as to uncontrolled physiological revulsion to such hoplophobia, and the discussion of the lunacy of such individuals has continued ad naseum to no avail;

    WHEREAS these illogical seizures of emotion do not appear to affect the majority of participants in the blog entitled “Ethics Alarms”;

    WHEREAS hoplophobia and its affected individuals appears only to feed off of itself, and no rational discussion appears to mitigate hoplophobia;

    RESOLVED that instead of continuing the recitation of common sense, as occurs in every post pertaining to this topic, we merely begin inserting apt Chuck Norris jokes instead.

    A month or so after Chuck Norris’s 5th birthday, he made a “finger gun” in the midst of play. A few weeks later, Nazi Germany surrendered unconditionally to the Allies.

    I’m sorry. I’m jaded on this topic as is my jaded attitude towards American common sense these days.

    • Scott

      I am jaded as well. The dumbing down of America has rendered the term “common sense” an oxymoron, as good sense has become mighty rare these days. As to Jack’s item #2 above, childhood education “experts” should all have the knowledge that six year olds lack enough development of their prefrontal cortex to understand the intent, meaning, consequences…I could go on until the blood stops pouring out of my ears and I fall unconscious…

      I can’t outdo Pink Floyd: “All in all, just another brick in the wall…”

      Best regards,
      Scott

    • I also wondered who did what that turned the tide. Thanks, Chuck!

    • Where do I sign the petition, Tex?! For you uninitiated types, “hoplophobia” refers to an irrational fear of all things military or related thereof.

  6. Sharon

    Just to be on the safe side, I wouldn’t stick my finger out and point at anything or anyone at this school. Obviously, the safety of the children is the school’s first priority and the administration, in an attempt to err on the side of caution, will most likely respond to all extended fingers as terroristic threats. I would think that this goes for teachers as well. All in all, some of those who are just pointing may be mislabeled as terrorists but these “pointers” are hardly innocent. Everyone knows that pointing is rude.

  7. fattymoon

    Man, I love when Jack gets all sarcastic! I mean, as in FUNNY!

    This piece has given me an idea. Watch this space for some finger fun.

  8. Lianne Best

    I nearly sent you the link to this original finger-gun article and then I thought, no, no, Jack will find this one alll by himself. I knew you’d have a delicious response. :)

  9. bellisaurius

    I agree with your article, but it would seem the school is within it’s rights and duties to punish behavior as it sees necessary. Obviously suspension is way, way over the top, but it leaves open the question of what is the more appropriate punishment- lecture by the teacher, visit to the principal, or a call home?

    • Joshua

      Wait… What? You believe this should be punished in any form?

    • fattymoon

      How ’bout, “Time to put away your gun now, pahdner.”

    • None of the above! Punish hi for WHAT? He didn’t do anything wrong, and he shouldn’t be made to feel as if he did anything wrong. What should the teacher say in her lecture? I’d be afraid to find out. If I got a call about my son because he made a finger gun, I’d make sure the school, the teacher and the principal rued the day. If he actually used the gesture as a threat—that’s an issue. If he disrupted class by fooling around—that’s an issue. If he made the gesture after he was asked not to—that’s a legitimate reason for punishment. But simply making a gun gesture is no more wrong than making a peace sign, a Vulcan salute, or Danny’s talking finger from “The Shining.” What’s wrong is the punishment…any punishment.

      • Precisely, and in your listed offenses, an infraction entirely separate from the symbol (finger gun) used is what is being punished:

        “used the gesture as a threat” Correct the unwarranted threatening behavior

        “disrupted class by fooling around” Correct the behavior of acting out in inappropriate times and disrespect

        “made the gesture after he was asked not to” Correct the behavior of disobedience towards a legitimately constituted authority

        Punish the symbol (finger gun) and leave a child hopelessly confused.

      • Finnegan

        I couldn’t agree more.

        • It has gotten so bad that this comment was flagged as spam. Why? Because a huge number of the 500 or so pieces of comment spam I get every day include non-specific comments, and my spam-block is now taking that as suspicious. People with “names” like “Hair Extensions” respond to posts with “Awesome, man!” and “Great review!” and “This is juts what I was looking for!” It’s pretty sad when someone can’t just say they like a post or agree with it without being flagged a s robot.

  10. fattymoon

    OK, it’s the “Pointy finger of Congress” – in my mind I AM pointing a gun at Congress’s collective head and ordering everyone to “Clear the building, NOW!”
    See? That’s where the soul lies down in darkness on the shore of good and evil. And, personally, I like to think all, or, dare I whisper, most? kids are INNOCENT up to maybe 3rd grade but when I began teaching in 1982,.. it was 4th grade. Progress?

    (Posting to Facebook because this issue has only divided our divided nation.)

    https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/270219_4275163918523_1440583246_n.jpg

  11. My God. How many years in prison have I already earned as a six year old while playing cowboy? Does DHS have a flagged file on me?? I’m starting to get anxious, people!

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