Actually, his first mistake was probably revealing his secret identity, but that’s not today’s topic, which comes from the little explored realm of Ethics Alarms known as “Wacko Ethics.”
For there dwells Roger Hayhurst, also known as Knight Warrior, a self-proclaimed British superhero who began fighting minor crime and disturbances near his home in Swinton, Greater Manchester. Hayhurst wears a custom-made blue and black lycra costume and even had a sidekick, his 18-year-old fiancee Rebecca. She is called “Knight Maiden.” Now, however, Roger and Rebecca may be out of the superhero business, because some young toughs in Clifton beat the snot out him while he was “on patrol.”
“My face was all swollen,” Knight Warrior sniffed. Now he’s discouraged, and confesses, “I mainly dress up for charity appearances.” Rebecca, meanwhile, has turned in her tights.
I’m sorry to be unsympathetic, but Roger was engaged in outrageous hubris and false advertising. If you are going to call yourself a real life superhero, at least take some karate lessons. Getting beaten up by run-of-the-mill punks is disgraceful enough, but quitting because of it? Did Spiderman quit after Doctor Octopus mopped the floor with him? Did Batman retire the first time the Penguin bested him? Did Green Lantern…oh, never mind. Knight Warrior has made all superheroes look bad. A few basic rules:
- Don’t claim to be something you’re not.
- Don’t start a job you’re not prepared to finish.
- Don’t say you’re a hero when you lack the essential quality of a hero: courage.
- Don’t raise people’s expectations and then let them down.
Or maybe we can summarize all of these for Roger by simply noting that if you have no superpowers, don’t say you’re a superhero. It’s misleading, it’s dangerous, and it’s idiotic.
What a weenie.