I have to wonder about the values, ethics and trustworthiness of any publication that employs an advice columnist as deeply incompetent and unethical as Emily Yoffe, a.k.a “Dear Prudence.” I’m sure that I would be compelled to correct her regularly if I read her responses with any frequency, which is one of the reasons I don’t read the column. 2011 Ethics Alarms Commenter of the Year tgt just flagged this horrific example of Emily’s craft, and correctly guessed my reaction, writing, “get ready to facepalm.”  Now that my visage is permanently concave, allow me to retort.

The query comes from a woman whose mother has filled in absentee ballots for her parents, voting her own preferences and not consulting them. Worse, the grandmother, who is suffering from Alzheimer’s, is a life-long partisan of the party her daughter voted against on her behalf.  The questioner asks “Prudence,” “Should I attempt to intervene in some way?”

Should she intervene to stop voter fraud and the abuse of her grandparents’ dignity, autonomy and rights?  Hmmmm, let me think about that. What to do, what to do. Why, yes, I do believe that interveneing would be the appropriate response. Or to put it another way, OF COURSE!  Maintaining the integrity of the election process is every citizen’s duty, whether the attempted fraud is committed by a stranger, Pat Moran, or dear old Mom. Add to that the fact that the questioner’s vulnerable grandparents are being abused by the mother’s conduct, and, as both Tevye and Captain Hook said at various times, “There is no other hand!”  One answer, one ethical course of action: report Mom, and alert authorities to the phony votes.

But that’s not Emily’s way. After duly acknowledging how awful the conduct of the mother is (“morally and legally indefensible”), she writes,

“Let’s say they decide to make an example of your mother and prosecute her for voter fraud. Yes, justice may well be done, but at a very high cost to your family. It will be obvious that someone with a close but not affectionate relationship ratted her out. If your mother ends up busy with her legal defense, then someone else is going to have to pick up the slack of caring for your grandparents. Not every wrong can be righted, and I think you’re better off concluding this is one of those cases. But if on Tuesday it turns out the presidential election is decided by a two-vote margin in Ohio, then you’re going to have a story the whole country will want to hear.”

This is an answer that explicitly rejects ethical conduct. Don’t report a crime that effects the election of your nation’s leaders: it’s too much trouble, and people might get mad at you. Don’t intervene in the mistreatment of your grandparents, because you could end up having to take responsibility for them. Not every wrong can be righted, and even though this one can be, by all means use that as your official rationalization for doing nothing, despite the cost to the country, your fellow citizens, and your helpless grandparents. (Some other rationalizations might come in handy, too, like, “It’s a stupid law,’ “Nobody will ever know,” “You have to pick your battles,” “It isn’t my fault,” “I’ll do it the next time,” and “It’s not the worst thing,” as in “It’s not like my mother is killing anybody.”)

I will now gag and try to hold my gorge down for the next several minutes. Yechhh. What awful, awful, unconscionable advice from an American, from a daughter, and from an advice columnist.

Emily Yoffe is a disgrace.

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Pointer: tgt

Facts: Slate