Run away! But pay attention!
I’m not going to take back every negative thing I’ve ever said about reality shows, but there is no getting around it: now and then an episode of one of them is a better training film for good ethics than “Leave It To Beaver,” “Star Trek, The Next Generation,” and “Father Knows Best” combined.
A case in point was a recent episode of “Kitchen Nightmares,” a Fox reality show that sends chef and restaurateur Gordan Ramsay to turn around failing eateries, usually by his browbeating them into basic management competence and the use of fresh ingredients. This time, however, Ramsay was pitted against the proprietors of Amy’s Baking Company Bakery Boutique & Bistro in Scottsdale Arizona, specifically the eponymous Amy Bouzaglo, a textbook narcissist who dominates her much older husband and partner, abuses employees, and treats all criticism and constructive suggestions as a personal attack.
Ramsay’s method is frank confrontation, but he is a restaurant consultant and trouble-shooter extraordinaire with impeccable credentials, and having the opportunity to benefit from his diagnosis and treatment recommendations would be a godsend for any struggling restaurateur. Fighting his advice makes as much sense as for the clueless establishment owners featured on the show as it would for Gary Busey to tell Tom Hanks that Tom just doesn’t understand public relations. Yet viewers saw Bouzaglo fight every Ramsay criticism even when all the evidence, and often her pathetic husband, were on Ramsay’s side, lie, rant, scream, throw tantrums, roll her eyes, and generally insist, against all rational interpretations of reality, that she was perfect, the patrons loved her food, and whatever was wrong was Ramsay’s fault, or a diner’s, or her staff’s, which she apparently fired at whim. Finally, Ramsay gave up, concluding that Amy’s was beyond help, because, as anyone could see, Amy was impossible to deal with.
Now the drama has shifted to the restaurant’s Facebook page, where Amy is in the midst of suffering a meltdown of Wicked Witch proportions in the face of criticism of the episode by commenters there, on Reddit, and on the review site Yelp, which has taken shots at Amy’s since 2010. Examples:
- “You people are all shit. Yelp shit, Reddits shit. Every shit. Come to here, I will fucking show you all.”
- “You are all little punks. Nothing. you are all nothing. We are laughing at you. All of you, just fools. We have God on our side, you just have your sites.”
- “We will fight to bring places like Yelp and Reddit, and horrible people like Gordon to the light.”
- “I am not a witch. I am gods child. Piss off all of you. Fuck Reddits, fuck yelp and fuck all of you. Bring it. We will fight back.”
She is also threatening to become a mother, which is too horrible to contemplate.
If I started a YouTube channel for instructive ethics videos, Amy’s episode would be on it. This is how not to interact with the world, treat others, and most of all, how to make sure you never learn a thing, address any character deficiencies, or improve as a human being in any way as you stumble through life—blaming everyone, never being accountable for your own mistakes, and making everyone who has to deal with you miserable. This is how to be a bad boss, a bad spouse, a bad entrepreneur, and a bad friend. For people like Amy, the question of ethics is superfluous—right and wrong aren’t the issues. The issue for such people is to maintain a world view that is completely self-involved, self-centered, and devoid of honest reflection. Ethics barely enter the consciousness of such people.
Bouzaglo is an extreme, possibly pathological case, but I suspect that most of us have our Amy moments, and when we do, we often lack the perspective to realize how bad we are acting. If watching this frightening episode of “Kitchen Nightmares” ensures that Amy’s furious stare, indignant attitude, hair-trigger temper, and ridiculous rationalizations intrude on our thoughts when emotion, insecurity or fear prompt us to start acting like her, and thus set off our ethics alarms before we do real damage, then she has done a great service to humanity.
Except, that is, for the portion of it unlucky enough to have to meet her.
Here’s the episode, parts one and two:
_______________________
Pointer: Tim LeVier
Sources: TNT magazine, Chow Bella
Graphic: Exploration Travel Mag
Ethics Alarms 
Someone modeled this behavior for her, somewhere along the way. I am afraid that watching this will cause people to “desensitize” for lack of a better word and instead emulate such behavior. I think you are giving this audience too much credit.
I don’t believe it. It is self-evidently ugly.
The problem is, those who would best learn or at least most improve from learning from her behavior are those who will least accept that their own narcissist ugly behavior is like that.
amen
Considering that Ramsey is calling her out on her BS the whole way through, I doubt that’s the case. Hell, speaking as someone in their early 20s, I know even the more tasteless kids I knew back in high school would consider her an object of mockery; like texaggo4 says, the main issue is simply that they might not be self-aware enough to see it in themselves.
All the restaurant fix shows have had owners like this. The people that need it don’t watch them or even look in the mirror and ask how they can improve. Everyone can improve. I admit I watch the other ones more for the proper treatment of really bad behavior and encouraging the ones doing it right.
You’re forgetting at least some of the the people have listened to what Mr. Ramsay had to say and some businesses stayed open and thrived, others were pig headed and closed down. This woman and her husband refused to listen; at least shut up and listen and humble yourselves and try to do what Mr. Ramsay suggested, but since she is so bull headed, she will NEVER learn. You try to tell her and she gets so hot tempered, it’s scarey!!!!!! So I agree with Mr. Ramsay and leave!
I disagree, mrsmilleratl. I think they Amys of the world provide excellent examples of how not to be, of how not to treat another human being. I suppose some people might have raised eyebrows at what our children saw on t.v. Not that we let them watch anything they wanted but we didn’t scramble to change the channel either. And when those moments presented themselves, we used them as a jumping off point for conversations about right and wrong, about compassion, about telling the truth. I found those moments really useful and now, with a houseful of teenagers, it is paying off in spades.
I agree, she could be a good example, and people who are good parents will do as you describe. Maybe I am too cynical, but I don’t think most parents would even be in the room when their child sees this.
Jack you could have saved some time and just did a one word post, SCUM. Followed with the video. There is not much more to say about the scum, but what about the employees? What is their ethical duty? Sure there is a duty to earn a living but when things are that bad and customers are being treated so horribly shouldn’t you apologize for being a part of the madness and bolt as fast as possible? In that situation, if the two young ladies were my daughters they wouldn’t be working there anymore (or from the start) and Samy may have a few less teeth.
I have worked in restaurants and I never got frequent tips because I was a hostess, but very few were grateful for my duties as a hostess and showed concern, real concern and not blowing up like Amy, and I still got tips. What Amy needs is a good old taste of humble pie, unfortunately she probably would spit it out!
She knows God is on her side, so she can do no wrong.
Also, the Peter Principle – from the evidence, a competent dessert chef, risen beyond her level of competence.
However.. if she hadn’t been enabled and abetted by her sociopathic husband, she might have been given an opportunity to heal.
Seen it before. Walk away. Actually, run.
Heal? She’s toxic….
“She is also very involved in the Arizona Republican Party and volunteered numerous hours of her time during the 2006 elections. In 2005, she was 1 of 250 people appointed to the Republican Presidential Task Force in Arizona.”
That was part of the appeal to the court for a modification to her sentence because she’d turned her life around after convictions for Bank Fraud in several states. I wonder if she’s paid off the $36k restitution yet?
Click to access 86-1.pdf
Colour me unsurprised.
Didn’t take long to politicize that via the fallacy of hasty generalization.
I didn’t politicise the situation – she did.
I would have been equally unsurprised if she’d been on a Democratic committee, if that clarifies the situation.
Yet the political component was uneccesary for the ethical evaluation. But still seemed to get brought up.
From watching this episode I remember Chef Ramsay saying her pasteries were really good. Unfortunately, she wasn’t receptive to hearing it. She isn’t a good chef, and deep down she knows it.
I may be wrong about her being a good dessert chef – it seems the cakes were made by a patisserie, not her…. a bit like the ravioli.
It’s a slippery slope: first, bank fraud and forgery, and soon you’re selling store-bought pasta and cake and passing it off as your own freshly made product…
I completely agree zoebrain….there’s no way she could have made those desserts herself. Absolutely no way. Clearly her self described mastery of the culinary arts in the form of raw pizza dough, sugary sweet dough & chaotic flavor profiles in pasta clearly shows a HUGE discrepency compared to the perfection of the desserts. Uh huh. I’m waiting to hear from the bakery that sells her the desserts. Also I want to hear from the fired worker Katy. She and employee Miranda should get favorable attention and great job offers.
Katy did an AMA (“Ask Me Anything”) on Reddit yesterday, if you want to read what she had to say. http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1eegnm/former_waitress_katy_cipriano_from_amys_baking/
Did anyone else notice how she latched on to the idea that people were attacking and spreading lies online? That seemed to be a reflection of the modern insistence that “Saying something I don’t like is bullying me.” Immune to self-reflection, Amy concluded that anybody who said something negative about her or her restaurant was a BULLY and therefore not saying anything of worth.
On her facebook: “Obviously our Facebook, YELP, Twitter and Website have been hacked. We are working with the local authorities as well as the FBI computer crimes unit to ensure this does not happen again. We did not post those horrible things. Thank You Amy &Samy”
And who exactly believes that, when we’ve all seen the things she’s fully capable of saying live and on camera? Guess she’s gotten some pushback that even she couldn’t yell down.
Oh, that’s really hilarious. Even Anonymous isn’t that efficient. What a great, wonderful, transparent, desperate, pathetic lie!
She must be talking about Mulder and Scully; surely the one we saw on TV was just an alien body-snatcher.
I cant but help think this all a stunt to get on TV. No one can be this stupid.
Bill, I thought the same but a quick search shows they were reported on well before the show. The degree of behavior may have changed for the show but thier essence looks to be accurate.
Then they were insane to invite him to their place. This should kill their business.
I assume the husband made the invite, because he knew there was a problem and he’s scared of his wife. And she thought it would be good publicity.
I hate it when people falsely claim they have been ‘hacked’ after the fallout for their decisions becomes apparent because then no one believes it when it does happen. It also makes it a more effective tactic.
I also means they are acting like Anthony Weiner.
“It’s a slippery slope: first, bank fraud and forgery, and soon you’re selling store-bought pasta and cake and passing it off as your own freshly made product…”
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That comment made me literally LOL.
* RamSAY not RamSEY. Good article!
This childlike woman at 53 years old has no ethical, moral compass. consider her past. Convicted of identity theft back in 2002 and spent 14 months in prison. Previously went by Aliases, Amanda Patricia Bossingham(Real Name) aka Amanda Cox, Amanda Hughes, Amanda Guccino Amanda Walls, Amanda Demidici, Amanda Kirkman, Cari Ellen Cox, Sara Stewart.(Obtained from public records online.)
The topping on this cake(hehe) is that she has hired a PR firm, paid money to them(I Assume) and THEY can’t stop her from still yapping her mouth off, replying to Facebook comments on both her old page and even now, on her new FB page. Obviously not a great PR firm. Get your money back Amy! You’ll need it for Bankruptcy court. Heed my words. I give it less than 6 months(I know, I’m being generous). If she goes longer than thank goodness for the money laundering side business I’ve heard about.
This episode was extremely difficult to watch. Sometimes the show is really interesting and even inspiring: you can see a hint of brilliant diamond flashing, although perhaps buried in the mud, and it’s really intriguing to watch how sometimes the owners “get it” and manage to pull themselves and their businesses together. This was actually painful to watch– there was no self-reflection, no “aha moment,” nothing. She’s not a monster, she’s just a horrible, horrible person. I feel so much second-hand embarrassment for her and her husband.
Classic NPD My God to we have to deal with Amys everyday however she takes the “cake” no pun inteeded. Complete socipath.no empathy-no remorse-no crictisms-no feedback (attacked) everyone’s fault except hers. They are like terminators they have zero care for others. They believe everyone is after them. My mom is a NPD and my life was horrible abuse from her and Amy you got it. Emotional abusive / Please God do not allow her to have a child…
Haha, I totally just commented on another article of yours asking if you’d seen this. Should’ve searched before I spoke!
And yeah, textbook NPD. Doesn’t seem fake at all – I have the misfortune of being related to a couple. They, really, truly believe that they’re right and everyone else is out to get them. It’s horrible on their families – loving someone that you just cannot, cannot get through to, year after year after year.
One may think it’s acted but it’s not. And even if it is, this is also how some people really are. It’s like staring into an abyss. I’ve seen Gordon bump heads with quite a few arrogant and self-important chefs on his show but this takes the cake… pardon the pun.
This was a very funny episode.