For this continuing series examining the biases that make me stupid (or not), on the one month anniversary of the last installment, I want to take up the matter of drivers who slow to a crawl or even stop their vehicles entirely when they encounter a “speed hump” in the road.
This past week two such drivers almost caused my car to run into them. In recent years Northern Virginia has gone speed hump mad, putting the things virtually everywhere that isn’t a highway or a main thoroughfare. I don’t mind them, however, nearly as much as I mind the way some drivers seem to regard them as explosive devices. You can safely drive over a speed hump at a moderate velocity; your transmission or axles aren’t going to fall off if your car doesn’t slow down into single digits.
I confess: I regard drivers who freak out at speed humps as emblematic of creeping weenie-ism in the nation. I imagine such drivers as still wearing masks alone in their cars, spending nights shivering in terror over the certain doom that the world faces if we don’t start living like prehistoric cave dwellers, fearing to allow their kids to walk unaccompanied a few blocks home from school, and who want the U.S. to minimize the deployment of its military to tasks involving expanding LGBTQ rights and advancing the cause of diversity, equity and inclusion. I envision them applauding when some anti-gun fanatic shouts that it would be worth eliminating the Second Amendment “if it saved one life” and crippling the First so no feelings are ever hurt by unwelcome opinions.
This is unfair on my part; I know it. I am focusing excessively on the speed hump weenies because I so seldom get a chance to face off with one of the other, ultimately more corrosive kind.
The United States’ strength and unique character has traditionally been that it was created by and for non-weenies, those who took risks, who braved opposition and threats, and who believed that life is to be explored, challenged, and dared. I fear that a majority of society is now embracing caution, fear and submissiveness as the dominant culture.
H. T. Webster (1885 – 1952) , now nearly forgotten, was a famous and influential cartoonist in the first part of the last century. He created such cartoon series as “The Thrill That Comes Once in a Lifetime” and “The Timid Soul.” The latter featured a Webster character named Caspar Milquetoast, who went through life terrified of everything, bullied by all, and taken advantage of constantly. The term “milquetoast” to describe a timid, unassertive person survives today even though the memory of its creator does not.
I wonder how many current day Americans would find Caspar as ridiculous as our grandparents and great-grandparents did.
The United States has set itself apart by being the nation that, if anything, was too bold and too willing to take risks for the benefit of humanity. Victor Davis Hanson, in an epic essay this week, lays out the peril facing the nation and the world as America seems to be slipping into terminal weeniness. He writes at one point,
So next year we will likely see the climax to a number of current dangerous ideas, events, and forces, which finally will either overwhelm us or be addressed and remedied. We live in a Neronian age but can recover if we first understand how we got here and the nature of the suicide we are committing.
In 2023, it became clear, to even the most loyal supporters of the Biden administration, that the U.S. has simply lost or indeed forfeited American deterrence abroad. Our enemies do not fear us; our friends do not trust us; and neutrals do not care either way.
After the 2021 Kabul debacle, the 2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine, the 2023 brazen Chinese spy balloon’s uncontested trajectory over the United States, the recent Hamas invasion of Israel, the serial Iranian-fueled terrorist attacks on U.S. installations in the Middle East, and the terrorist Houthis’ veritable absorption of the Red Sea, many of America’s opportunistic enemies drew conclusions and adopted strategies that would have been previously unthinkable.
Either adversaries will be so emboldened to start regional wars—an impotent Iran now brags it will block the entire Mediterranean—or a United States will be shocked into action and have to deter Iran, the Houthis, and Islamic terrorism, while dealing with an opportunistic China eager to annex Taiwan, and Russia determined to finish off Ukraine.
Those challenges will force the military to staunch its recruitment hemorrhaging, rectify low morale, and rearm. Such rebooting in turn will require discarding the woke agenda, stopping the DEI proselytizing and virtue signaling, and returning to a meritocracy focused on military preparedness and battlefield efficacy.
It’s a long way from speed humps, I know. And yet maybe not so far removed after all.
Ethics Alarms 
I want to take up the matter of cars that slow to a crawl to take a right-hand turn. It’s usually trucks or SUVs.
I have to slow more for speed humps in my current car than I did in my previous one. It sits lower, but I didn’t realize how much lower until I hit that first speed hump. I do not come to a stop, or even a crawl, though.
I also have issue with people slowing to a crawl to turn right, sometimes it’s like they come to a stop for some reason.
Might these drivers be slowing down in order to prevent their COVID masks from shifting…?
PWS
Heh!
How fast you travel over a raised elevation in the road surface depends on whether you are talking about speed bumps or speed humps. A hump is considerably lower than a bump and is designed to slow the vehicle to 15mph a speed bump on the other hand is about 50% taller and designed to bring the vehicle to an abrupt slowing. Either can cause damage to a vehicle if the vehicle has a very low center of gravity or is traversed at a speeds higher than the traffic calming device was engineered. How much higher depends on the vehicle’s suspension components.
https://www.southernasphaltengineering.com/benefits-of-speed-bumps-and-humps/
Speed humps or bumps do not usually have a speed value posted so if you have ever had to pay out hundred of dollars after hitting a pothole you might just be a bit gun shy about running over them at normal speed. US speed bumps are nothing compared to Mexican speed bumps that will tear out the undercarriage of your car at any speed over 2mph because they are about ramped to a height of 8-12 inches tall and 3-4 feet wide.
I do not disagree with the assessment that we have lost our deterrence capacity overseas. Much of this is because we seem to engage in endless wars that benefit only the military industrial complex and as a nation we are tired of fighting other people’s battles when they are unwilling to do for themselves. This reticence to get involved by the people is interpreted by the current administration that we should placate our adversaries to avoid conflict at any cost. The exception of course is the evil Russians to which we must allocate billions to corrupt Ukrainian oligarchs so that they may remain able to continue to receive American aid. Our adversaries see this as weakness.
I however believe our Milquetoastesque responses on the geopolitical stage is done purposefully to advance the Charles Schwabs of the globalist’s desire to advance the agenda and usher in an oligarch run global government. Unfortunately, a sizable number in this country believe that is the direction we should be taking.
As with many other things, I have overthought the issue of speed bumps.
I approach different bumps in different ways (a bump versus a hump).
But, I approach each one as decisively as I think appropriate.
The one instance that would count me as a weenie would be when riding with someone with back problems (they run in Mrs. Gory’s family). I am fine taking the sharp, short bumps of some speed bumps, but even that is painful for some.
-Jut
I didn’t think bumps were allowed on public roads any more. I haven’t seen one for many years.
Oh, I have seen MANY on private roads, especially those residential side streets that one uses to bypass the congested main roads.
-Jut
Really? Bumps rather than humps? I honestly thought those things were banned.
There are speed bumps in the apartment community in which we used to live before buying a house. My mother-in-law still lives there. She lives in the back which requires one to drive over every speed bump to get in and out of the place. These are not small bumps either and my car is low to the ground.
You’d better believe I am very careful when going over them.
I recently switched from driving a Jeep to driving a small, 2-seater sports car. I immediately realized how my life had changed. There were at least 3 times the first week when my instinct was to drive over a curb, but I realized I couldn’t anymore. I don’t come to a complete stop for speed bumps, but I realized I do have to take them more slowly now. What aggravates me the most are the people in expensive ‘tough’ SUVs who slow to a crawl to enter a parking lot because it is (a) uphill or (b) has a 3″ lip from the road surface. I mean, I didn’t even notice these things in my Jeep and I see Suburans and Yukons doing 2 mph crawling into the parkng lots all the time. I enter the parking lot faster in a Miata.
I think there are several factors behind this. First, lots of people have never been in a risky or dangerous situation in their entire life, much less on a routine basis. When this happens, they seem to not be able to judge the severity of risks and the amount of precaution needed. Think of all those teacher who were panicked because they were ‘risking their lives’ going to work during the ‘bioweapon from Wish.com’ outbreak, despite the fact that their death rate would have to increase 10-15 fold to equal truck drivers normally. Secondly, they don’t understand how anything works. When everything is magic to you, you will never know how to use it effectively. I understand how much punishment the suspension on my vehicles can take, how much ground clearance I have, where the air intakes are, etc. These are all important things to know before you get into a bad situation.
I spent a number of years delivering newspapers and when you’re driving many miles a day in a fashion that’s guaranteed to ultimately ruin your can, I did everything I could to minimize the avoidable driving hazards, such as nasty speed bumps or railroad tracks. For people who blithely speed over railroad tracks — I want to be your mechanic because he’s going to earning a good living.
In my town we have a wide variety of speed bumps/humps. There is one road that has been repaved enough that you can basically ignore the bumps. There are others that you really need to slow down to about 15mph, and there are yet more that are not continuous bumps but two or three segments. If you are confident in your spatial orientation you can simply drive through the gaps. I can, my sister cannot. I think of it as a matter of situational awareness.
My problem with a lot of other drivers is traffic circles, which our local DOT simply adore. I think they get up in the morning, toss a dart at the map and say “That’s a good spot for a new traffic circle!”
But people tend to stop at the entrance to a roundabout like there was a stop sign. To me, if I watch the cars driving around the roundabout it is pretty obvious whether they’re taking the exit or continuing about the circle. I privately think of it as the ‘body language’ of the cars that give away their intentions. It works for me.
Lately the DoT have discovered white plastic traffic barriers. The made a cheap traffic circle with them. But a few weeks ago on one of our roads, they put down some plastic barriers that kind of look like a little saw horse. Basically they stick out a yard from the curve, meaning you have to swerve to avoid them. They are on both sides but staggered a bit. We cannot fathom what in the world their purpose is, except to slow folks down, or prevent cars going in opposite directions from being able to pass each other. Very strange.
I think most speed bumps are unethical – so any follow on topics regarding them are automatically tainted. I haven’t encountered one yet that requires you to be at the speed limit to cross without damaging your vehicle. Every single one forces a minimum of slowing down 15-20 mph below the posted speed limit.
What’s the point of a speed limit then if I’m physically restrained from even going near the speed limit?
Picking a nit; “This past week two such drivers almost caused my car to run into them.” As a professional commercial vehicle driver, I just couldn’t let that statement go unchallenged. YOU almost caused your car to run into them.
Rant over.