It is time to hand out another Kaufman, the special award given to an alleged example of unethical treatment so dubious and so trivial that it warrants the reaction famed wit and playwright George S. Kaufman once gave spontaneously on a Fifties TV panel show, after aging crooner Eddie Fisher (father of Carrie, husband of Debby Reynold and Elizabeth Taylor) had complained that he wasn’t able to interest young women in dating him as easily as he used to. Kaufman’s reaction:
“Mr. Fisher, on Mount Wilson there is a telescope that can magnify the most distant stars to twenty-four times the magnification of any previous telescope. This remarkable instrument was unsurpassed in the world of astronomy until the development and construction of the Mount Palomar telescope. The Mount Palomar telescope is an even more remarkable instrument of magnification. Owing to advances and improvements in optical technology, it is capable of magnifying the stars to four times the magnification and resolution of the Mount Wilson telescope. Mr. Fisher, if you could somehow put the Mount Wilson telescope inside the Mount Palomar telescope, you still wouldn’t be able to see my interest in your problem.”
And yet John Hinckley’s recent lament interests me even less than this. I assume you will feel similarly.
Hinckley tried to assassinate President Ronald Reagan in 1981 to impress actress Jodie Foster, whom he had been stalking. One of the songs he sang to the star over the phone while she was at college was a rip-off of John Lennon’s ode to Yoko Ono with “Jodie” substituted for “Yoko.” I have heard it. Trust me, you don’t want to. Now that he has been released (Hinckley was held “not guilty” by virtue of insanity, and was finally deemed sane in 2022), Hinckley is still in pursuit of a music career, which, based on the evidence of his singing, is a delusion that might have the doctors re-thinking their decision that he’s regained sufficient numbers of his lost marbles to be on the loose. Hinckley has been selling tickets to music concerts featuring his song stylings, and I believe that anyone who would pay to hear Reagan’s would-be assassin sing is almost as crazy as he was (or is).
Indeed, it is not going well for John on the road. The 68-year-old’s scheduled concerts have repeatedly been cancelled, even when they have sold out. (Would you want to be near a concert hall filled with people who would pay money to hear Hinckley’s cover of “Oh, Yoko”?)
Most recently Hinckley was scheduled to perform on March 30 at the Hotel Huxley in Naugatuck, Connecticut. It was an anniversary performance of sorts: that’s the date Hinckley shot Reagan 43 years ago. I’m surprised the concert wasn’t going to be held at the Washington Hilton. But the gig was “postponed.”
“I think that’s fair to say: I’m a victim of cancel culture,” Hinckley complained to the New York Post. “It keeps happening over and over again. They book me and then the show gets announced and then the venue starts getting backlash,” he said. “The owners always cave, they cancel. It’s happened so many times, it’s kinda what I expect. I don’t really get upset.”
For some reason, John says, petty people want to “dwell on the past” and can’t forgive and forget. Awww. Poor John!
Ot rather, good. Hinckley’s lucky to be alive, and if he had any decency, remorse, respect for the public and common sense, he would go live in the woods somewhere, subsisting on nuts, berries and bugs. “Cancel culture” properly refers to when some celebrity or other well-known figure is shunned by the public based on conduct or words deemed socially unacceptable, as when Mel Gibson revealed himself as an anti-Semite in a drunken rant during his arrest for DUI. Presidential assassins aren’t cancelled, they are killed, either by an execution or by being shot by Jack Ruby or Boston Corbett. Only moral luck put Hinckley in the much safer “unsuccessful assassin” category, and he should shut up, disappear, and be thankful for that.
Ethics Alarms 
About 16 in that infamous club, none of whom you would want to know. Hinckley’s doing a lot better than some of them. Giuseppe Zangara, who tried to kill FDR and failed, but did get Chicago mayor Anton Cermak, fried in the electric chair. ⚡ John Schrank, who tried to kill Teddy Roosevelt, was judged insane and hospitalized for life. 🏥 Richard Lawrence, who tried to kill Andrew Jackson, failed when 2 pistols misfired, and got a severe beating from AJ and prosecution by Francis Scott Key before spending the rest of his life in and out of asylums.
Both of the crazies who tried to kill Gerald Ford (why bother?) are sill locked, Squeaky and Sarah Jane Moore. Technically, that guy who shot Teddy doesn’t get credit,because TR wasn’t President when he was shot. The Jackson story is one of my favorite tales in all US history—the one who dragged Andy off his assailant before Jackson beat him to death was none other than Rep. Davy Crockett. And those pistol fired perfectly well when tested after the incident. I giggle every time I picture the look on the face of the would-be assassin when those gun misfire at point blank range, and he realizes he’s facing an infuriated killer. “OH NOOOOO!”
Au contraire, Sarah Jane Moore was paroled in 2007. Of course then there was the bozo who tried to crash into the White House in 1994 but succeeded only in killing himself. And yup, facing Andrew Jackson after two misfires was definitely an “oh shit!” moment.
I did not know that about Moore—she was one scary woman.
Yes, Samuel Byck tried to kill Nixon by hijacking a plane and crashing it into the White House. He was stooped, shot, and killed himself, but at least he made it into the musical “Assassins.”
I find this one rather interesting, not because of what Hinckley has to say, but because of the actions of the venue managers.
I’ll take on faith that he’s as talentless as you say he is, Jack, meaning that those who booked him did so for one of three reasons: they never bothered to audition him, or for his notoriety, or to jerk him around. None of these strike me as terribly ethical: they’re failing in their obligations to their ticket-buying clientele, or they’re gambling on fame (infamy) being a draw and then realizing too late that normal people don’t see things that way, or they’re just mean-spirited folks.
But what if the guy really could write and sing? Is it possible that he really isn’t the same person that he was forty-something years ago, that he really was insane then and isn’t now? The doctors think so, and I’ll yield to them without evidence to the contrary. That would make his plaint more persuasive, but all it would do in terms of the ethics of the venue managers would be to cross off one of the possible motivations.
Having taught college students in performing arts for over four decades, I can state with confidence that some people’s view of their own skill level does not necessarily jibe with reality. That level of failed self-cognition is neither uncommon nor per se unethical. But neither is saying “no” inherently “cancel culture.” It’s the “yes,” then “no” that seems problematic.
Oh, I have no doubt that he was booked as a freak show, and yes, the venues were exploiting him while appealing to the kind of people who stop to stare at car wrecks. I must admit, I never considered that Hinckley developed into Neil Diamond while in the mental institution. Now THAT would be a great story!
What are the odds that some of the venues don’t even know who he is.
The past is a foreign country. Even 20 years in the past a country doesn’t look the same as it’s present day – it can only be extra pronounced for a country 40 years in the past.
The odds that some of these venues flat out don’t even know who the guy is when they book him has to be greater than 0.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it is an embarrassingly large number greater than 0.
OOOh, I think that may be right, except that I can’t imagine someone booking an amateur with Hinckleys’ thin resume into a concert hall.
I wonder what nights he was selling out? Venues hungry for revenue may not aggressively vette performers on “off nights” if the sales are there?
I really don’t know.
“I see your resume shows you had a really long consistent gig in the one place, but you didn’t label it. Where were you?”
I was performing solitary in yale.
“Wow solos for Yale? And you’re humble! You’re hired!”
Thanks. I really need this yob.