Apparently “I Can’t Breathe!” Is Now the Official “Get Martyr Status Free!” Card

As crazy as this loon melting down in her airplane seat was, she had sufficient marbles loose and rolling around to try out the “I can’t breath!” line. This was, you will recall, famously used by two arrest-resisting African American males who really couldn’t breathe while inept and overly-violent police officers attempted to take them into custody.

Eric Garner deserves credit for the line; he really couldn’t breathe after being gang-tacked by three NYC police officers, though it didn’t help that Garner was morbidly obese. (“You take your victim as you find him”) George Floyd then memorably gave Garner’s catchy line an encore. He really couldn’t breathe either, possibly from claustrophobia, definitely from a fentanyl overdose, though it didn’t help that Officer Derek Chauvin was kneeling on his neck.

It was a nice try by the Spirit Airline wacko, but she neglected to consider the absolutely essential feature of playing the “I can’t breathe!” card.

You have to die.

5 thoughts on “Apparently “I Can’t Breathe!” Is Now the Official “Get Martyr Status Free!” Card

    • Steven Crowder researched the event and then reenacted it in real time, unless the many video missed something, there would have ben no reason to lose breathing from the technique.

  1. Not only that, but I would think it would be a little tough to utter the words “I can’t breathe” when one, in fact, cannot breathe.

  2. Don’t people usually say “I can’t breathe” when they’re hyperventilating or otherwise having trouble catching their breath? That is, when their lungs are pumping but they still feel like they’re suffocating? There’s a great deal of language that is worth criticizing, but I’m unconvinced this is part of it. 

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