I was literally in the middle of a preparing a post about the cultural sickness J.D. Vance was allegedly trying (and failing miserably) to focus public attention on when he mocked “childless cat ladies” dictating U.S. policies when these two awful stories came across my screen.

In the first, I learned that Parker Scholtes, 2, was found dead in her parents’ Honda SUV parked outside their home in the Tucson suburb of Marana. Her father, an irresponsible man-child named Christopher Scholtes, had left the baby “to nap,” that is, to broil, for more than three hours on July 9. He said he left her in the car with the air conditioner on (like a good dad, or his warped idea of one), but got involved playing PlayStation video games and didn’t check on her until three hours had gone by. He confessed to police that he knew the car’s engine would automatically shut off after 30 minutes, but just got, you know, carried away and lost track of time. You know how it flies by when you’re having fun.

By the time the little girl’s lifeless body was discovered by first responders, the temperature in the car had reached 108.9 degrees. Scholtes’ two older daughters told police that Daddy sometimes left them alone in the car too and had been “distracted by playing his games.” Erika Scholtes, their mother, reprimanded her husband after the tragedy, texting, “I told you to stop leaving them in the car, how many times have I told you.” He texted back, “Babe I’m sorry…”

Oh. Well as long as you’re sorry…

‘”How could I do this.”

How? because you’re an irresponsible, reckless, self-centered moron, that’s how. Next?

“I killed our baby, this can’t be real.”

How I love “this can’t be real.”

A judge set Scholtes’ bail at a $25,000 bond. EA has expressed its revulsion before about how child-cooking parents have sometimes been let off the metaphorical hook by prosecutors and judges because “they’ve suffered enough.” That rationalization is on the list, #38 B: Excessive Accountability, or “He’s Suffered Enough.”We can only hope authorities have better ethics alarms in Arizona.

Both parents are also unfit and dangerous, and their surviving daughters should be placed in a safe home where neither parent is in the habit of forgetting they have kids who depend on them, or thinks it is sufficient to just keep reminding such a parent, “Now, honey, don’t leave our precious children in a broiling car again while you play video games, you big silly!”

The world would be far better off if couples like the Scholtes had the self-awareness to become childless cat people, though I’m not even sure about the cats.

That is because of this story, from New Zealand, which would have upset my late wife as much as the last one. In Aukland, New Zealand, SPCA rescuers seized several dogs from a so far unnamed owner. Among them was Nuggi, the poor stuffed canine pictured above. Some kind of Chihuahua-Dachshund mix, Nuggi, a small framed dog that should have weighed in the vicinity of 20 pounds or so at most, checked in at almost a hundred pounds more, at 118. He could barely walk more than a few steps without collapsing, and had multiple maladies related to his obesity as well as other signs of neglect. His clueless owner, authorities said, insisted on over-feeding him without giving the dog any exercise. After two month of proper veterinary care, including a crash diet, Nuggi died. The woman who slowly murdered her dog was sentenced in the Manukau District Court to two months in jail, a fine of $1222.15, and banned from owning dogs for a year.

Just a year? The woman should be banned from owning so much as a goldfish for life. (Gilbert and Sullivan’s Mikado, he of “let the punishment fit the crime,” would have ordered her to be force-fed duck foie gras and Oreos washed down with chocolate shakes eight times a day until she popped.)

Meanwhile, a New Zealand dog boarding and daycare business was fined $11,000 last month it left a dog in a hot car for more than nine hours. It seems that Christopher Scholtes was visiting and got everyone involved in playing on his PlayStation.

Okay, I’m just kidding about the last part…