There’s really no contest. EA has discussed the whining celebrities like Ellen DeGeneris who have abandoned their native country and the most remarkable democracy in world history because their favorite candidate—a spectacularly poor one—lost. We have discussed Rob Reiner, committing himself to a rest home because he can’t handle a competitive political process. We have talked about the social media hysteria and the progressives isolating themselves at BlueSky, a platform that censors conservatives. I have written about the people who are announcing on Facebook that if you voted for Trump, you are a racist and a fascist and not worthy of their friendship any more. But there is more…
Item: The New York Times reports that disillusioned progressives have decided that since they don’t like the news when it doesn’t meet their expectations, they are planning on not following the news at all. I guess having their favorite news sources selectively cull out stories that don’t support their world view still isn’t enough.
Item: The Times prominently published a columnist’s position that the best response to Trump’s victory is to panic over “Trump’s preposterous cabinet announcements…his cruel policy plans for grotesque campaigns of deportation, vengeful prosecution and heedless budget slashing…” Panic! What a mature, practical, responsible response.
Item: Finally, the New York Times’s ethics advice columnist actually thought this inquiry was worthy of publication….The whole, ugly thing is below. Yes, it’s come to this:
“My mother, a two-time Trump voter in Florida, has moved closer to us in a safely blue state. While I don’t know what her vote was in the 2024 presidential election, it wouldn’t have affected the outcome. I strongly oppose Trump, as do my wife and her family, who live nearby. I’m troubled by my mother’s support of someone I consider morally abhorrent and dangerous, especially when she voted in a former swing state.
With the result of the 2024 election, my wife and her family are directing their understandable fury at my mother. My wife’s sister said, ‘‘If she voted for Trump again, I’m completely done with her.’’ I expect that the next time they interact it will not be pretty. But my mother is a member of our family, and an invaluable caregiver to our children. She’s pleasant and kind in daily life and moved far from her home primarily for us and her grandkids. And she is my mother, after all.
I’m torn. My wife and her family expect me to brook no compromise and to speak out on an issue that feels existential to them (as it does to me), but because I know that her vote here doesn’t make a difference, I have trouble feeling motivated to admonish her for her past and possibly present support of Trump. At the very least, they don’t think I should expect them to be anything other than completely unfiltered with my mother.
I appreciate the sacrifices my mother has made to be near our family and our children, and our kids love their grandma. And she is the woman who raised me. But my wife and her family will be channeling their anger at one of the few Trump voters they personally know. And my mother expects me to intervene and speak up for her or to encourage my wife’s family to be more civil. She sees her vote as a ‘‘personal choice’’ and doesn’t seem to believe that she should be criticized for it. Ethically, is it wrong for me to hold my tongue or to try to negotiate the peace even though I agree with the substance of my wife’s family’s position? If I try to protect my mother from vitriol, would I be betraying myself, or my wife and her family, in order to preserve harmony and child care? Or would I be justified in suggesting that we all lay down our arms, given that her vote no longer affects the national outcome? If I try to completely opt out of having a role in this conflict, am I doing a disservice to all parties involved? What do we owe to ourselves and the respective warring sides in a situation such as this?
The ethical response to all of these sad, emotionally disturbed people is the same: “Grow the hell up.”
Ethics Alarms 
Unfortunately, the pattern for snowflaking progressives is to convert their political sadness into hatred, anger, and violence. I’m honestly wondering when the crying of tears turns into the throwing of Molotov cocktails and other open violence against… everything.
If I had to guess… sometime in January 2025
What do we owe to ourselves and the respective warring sides in a situation such as this?
You owe it to yourselves to act like adults and not rival gang members. You owe it to your wife to inform her that attacking your mother is unacceptable for the following reasons:
Finally, you should sit down with your family and lay down the law. If your wife can’t get past her insane partisanship, suggest she check herself into a rehabilitation facility, because she is almost certainly mentally ill. Tell your kids to get in line, treat their family members with respect or join their mother in rehab.
Wait, I have a better idea; run your mother off, and tell her she’s not welcome. That way, at least, she won’t have to be exposed to your collective madness any longer even if she will be heartbroken. But alas, unless you all get help, grief will be the only possible outcome.
And unfortunately, the reactions of Trump supporters last time around were no better. Just because you are loud about it, doesn’t mean you’re not whining. It’s at last time for everyone to stop reacting as if one choice or the other is “existential,” or one choice or the other is “not my President.” Yes, Jack, “grow up is the appropriate admonition — for all those who felt betrayed in 2020 and for the whiners who felt abandoned in 2016 and 2024. Grow up, folks.
I’d quibble a bit: at least the reaction of challenging the vote-counting is proactive. I don’t ever recall any Republicans threatening to leave the country or refusing to speak to friends and relatives who voted for Biden or Obama. Yes, I’d call Trump’s reaction a tantrum (with a purpose, but still a tantrum), but he didn’t pick up his marbles and go home.
I bet the Democrats wish he had…
If this guy had even a passing acquaintance with the Bible, he might recall that “Honor your father and mother” is a command repeated twice in the Old Testament (Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16) and six times in the New Testament (Matthew 15:4, and 19:19, Mark 7:10 and 10:19, Luke 18:20, and Ephesians 6:2). with other paraphrased references to the same idea cited in other scriptures. The honoring of one’s parents means to give weight or grant a person of position respect and even authority in one’s life. In the context of Exodus 20:12, it means to prize highly, care for, show respect for, and obey.
I don’t see much honoring occurring toward this guy’s mother. This says a lot about not only the type of son he is, but likely what kind of man, husband and father he likely is as well.
Thankfully, a lot of the comments to that Ethicist letter are sane, along the lines of “Surely this letter is fake?!? It’s your own mother, for goodness sake!”
This is why I feel a great deal of these letters are contrived. No man can be this much of a sap.
I’m calling my mother and letting her know I love her.
Finally, the New York Times’s ethics advice columnist actually thought this inquiry was worthy of publication…
After Trump’s first election, my brother and two cousins exhibited all the worst TDS symptoms: Trump [did or said some outrageous thing], and everyone who supports him is [insert one or more vile insults].
All done on Facebook. Which is actually quite good for some things, but a significant issue is that, unlike a blog, it is a push, not pull, platform. Which gives those who preferred Trump to the alternative one of two choices: acquiesce through silence, or provide factual counters to fallacious claims.
I chose the latter — not advocating for Trump, but rather where their supposed bases for their hatred were misplaced.
For that, I got first more insults, then ostracized.
Two and a half years ago, I found out through my sister that my brother had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Attempts to get in touch went unanswered, Door Dash gift cards went unacknowledged.
It is a non-trivial trip from Boise to Palm Springs, one which I wasn’t willing to make only to get the door slammed in my face.
He died four months later.
It seems to me being a conservative is, at its core, the consequence of epistemological humility.
In contrast, progressives are, by definition, epistemologically certain. To disagree with a progressive, is, therefore the result of some combination of stupidity, ignorance, or malevolence.
Wow, that’s a horrible story. I’m so sorry. Yes, I used to take exactly that approach to Trump deranged posts on Facebook, just correcting clear misstatements, only to get blocked or defriended. Now I just let the crazy stay uncriticized, although I broke my rule today: a friend posted a photo he had taken with former (terrible, corrupt) RNC chair and current MSNBC “Token Republican who bashes Donald Trump.” My friend said that he found Steele’s commentary impressive, and that was too much for me to let pass. “He’s an idiot,” I replied. And he is.
This is the same strategy I used a couple of days before the election. All I did was clear up progressive misinformation about Trump’s Liz Cheney rant. I didn’t advocate for him. I even criticized his typical off-the-cuff speechifying.
You can’t say or write a single thing that is deemed to be in defense of Trump. I was accused of accepting everything he said like a sheep.
Yes, after I’d criticized him. I’d love to see any of these people say one negative thing about Kamala Harris. Just one.
My deranged sister came back on the Zoom call last night. It was a reasonably pleasant conversation. However she did inform us that she would be driving (a two-hour trip each way) to Cincinnati once per month to guard women at Planned Parenthood.
“From what?” I wanted to ask.
Just after the election, one of my progressive cousins changed his Facebook cover photo to this: Trump antichrist, you get what you deserve.
Which is pushing real hard on that Stupid/Ignorant/Malevolent button that progressives can’t stay away from.
To which I responded with I am not voting for Trump, and here’s why, which is a list of policies Trump policies the author favors, and Harris policies he is against.
What did I get back? You are lost. This is a substack of rambling b*******. But forgive me, you know everything.
Wow.
Jeff, I am sorry for your loss.
I have a similar issue with my older brother. I haven’t spoken to him in over a year, my birthday wish to him as gone unanswered, as have my wife’s text messages. I am not sure why he is angry but he is. The last time he was in Houston, in my house, he accused us of being racists because we voted for Trump and not Biden. Not wishing to argue too much, I asked him why Biden was such a necessary alternative to Orange Man Bad. Tax policy? Foreign Policy? Trade policy? Immigration policy? Debt policy? Domestic policy? Abortion? He could not articulate policy positions that made Biden such a worthy alternative. He also couldn’t articulate when Trump uttered racist things. He brought up the “Muslim Ban” but was flummoxed when I suggested that the travel restrictions were simply continuing the restrictions place on those countries by St. Barack, only St. Barack said it a little bit more nicely.
So, who knows?
jvb
It feels “existential”? Either it threatens your existence or it does not. The fact you invoke your feelings suggests you are aware it is not, in the light of cold hard reality, an existential issue. You just pretend it is because you think that frees you from the usual moral restraints.
Exactly.
People make these outrageous claims of an “existential threat” all the time – primarily with regards to conservatives, Republicans, or Donald Trump (not necessarily in that order) – with no real concept of what it means. I’ve written this before and I’ll do so again: something that is an “existential threat” to me has two outcomes.
Outcome 1: The threat exists and I am destroyed. I am not defeated, not doxxed, not cancelled, not imprisoned, not sent to another country or to the International Space Station. I am destroyed. I am dead.
Outcome 2: The threat is destroyed and I exist. The threat is not defeated, not doxxed, not cancelled, not imprisoned, not sent to another country or to the International Space Station. The threat is destroyed. The threat is dead.
So I ask…
Is it really true that if any Republicans are left on planet Earth, you (as a not-Republican) will die?
Is it really true that if Donald Trump is the President again, you (as a not-Trump-supporter) will die?
As a conservative, I can safely say that, while Kamala Harris was easily the worst Presidential candidate I’ve EVER seen, and while she was a threat to more than a few of the things I hold dear, she was never…and I mean NEVER…an “existential threat” to me.
Not even close.
Jack,
For the first time in months, it appears a reply of mine (in this case, a response to DaveL’s thoughts) has been spammed. I tried a couple of times to post, but no success. Are you able to see/rescue it?
If so, I would appreciate it so much. Thanks in advance!
Just rescued it. WordPress has been hinkier than usual lately (it’s always hinky).
Thank you again!
Meanwhile, the adults over at the State Department are having “cry sessions.”
Blinken mocked for hosting State Department ‘cry sessions’ after officials have ‘personal meltdown’ over Trump victory | Daily Mail Online
Hopefully all those tears didn’t smudge their CVs.
I read the story and, I must say, if that is a real question to the Ethicist, then I fear for that fellow and his family. He is making a hard choice between familiar harmony and child care. What a jerk. In the immortal words of Don Corleone to Johnny Fontane, “You can act like a man!”
jvb
Oh…who else considers the possibility that Ellen is “leaving the US because Donald Trump won” could be replaced with “fleeing the US because of what has been uncovered in the raids at P Diddy’s home”?
Ironic that people claiming that a few political changes threaten their existence, are also those who push the hardest to eliminate the Constitutional right that ensures an individual access to the means of effectively preserving their life against real threats.
You will be shocked and amazed when—on January 6, 2025—Harris supporters don’t dress up as Vikings and forcibly enter a government building to obstruct a constitutionally-required Congressional proceeding! I wonder who did do that?
Surely adults of responsible and mature political views would never have used a constitutional proceeding as an excuse to play barricades-stormer in a game of dress-up. That would make them crybabies…oh wait!
It really is not hard to be objective about this. Joe Biden invited Trump to the White House after his party’s loss. Trump, on the other hand, angrily tweeted that he should be allowed to terminate the Constitution. But at least he’ll put an end to Woke DEI by…hiring his kids. What an ethical and upstanding man!
Sobriety! Probity! Discipline! for such virtues shall our posterity remember that exemplar of upright conduct, Donald J. Trump. What a very fine example that scrupulous Chief Magistrate has set for his supporters (not that they need it!).
No sore loser; no whiner—never!—he was, and remains, a very stoic, and Very Stable Genius.
Your next comment had better do better than sarcasm. I flipped a coin to decide whether to let this out of moderation or not. You were lucky. But I will say this: a single mob that riots is not representative of an entire party, or support base, and its a cheap shot to pretend that it is. Or, in your style, “Oh, suuuure, a single mob of drunks and assholes are absolutely a representative group of Trump voters!”