I find miscreants and wrong-doers who whine, grovel and weep as they face the just consequences of their crimes particularly despicable. Give me the defiant, unapologetic variety, like Ruth in “Ozark,” who when looking down the barrel of a pistol wielded by the mother of a cartel leader she had assassinated, says, “I’m not sorry. Your son was a murdering bitch, and now I know where he got it from.” As the woman aims the gun at her heart and pauses, Ruth shouts “Well, are you going to fucking do this shit or not?”

Bang.

Yesterday a sobbing Robert Menendez begged the court for mercy after being found incredibly guilty of accepting bribes from foreign governments and businessmen in exchange for cash, gold bars and a Mercedes-Benz convertible among other riches. He was sentenced to 11 years in prison for selling out his Senate office to enrich himself. The New Jersey Democrat and former head of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee wept as he argued, “Your honor, I am far from a perfect man. I have made more than my share of mistakes and bad decisions. I’ve done far more good than bad. I ask you, your honor, to judge me in that context.” Let’s see, that’s…

• #19. The Perfection Diversion, or “Nobody’s Perfect!” and “Everybody makes mistakes!”
• #21. Ethics Accounting, or “I’ve earned this”/ “I made up for that”
• #21A. The Criminal’s Redemption, or “It’s just a small part of what I am!”

Then he explained that he sacrificed himself to public service so much that he missed crucial events in his two children’s lives. If he was given a long sentence, Menendez said, he would miss key events in his grandchildren’s lives!

• #58. The Universal Trump, or “Think of the children!”

Menendez essentially told the judge that he was entitled to The King’s Pass, Rationalization #11. This was the primary argument made by his defense attorneys too. The judge disagreed. “The public cannot be led to believe that you can get away with bribery,” he said. The defense had, absurdly, asked the judge to consider home detention and “rigorous community service” instead of jail time.

Finally they tried a particularly nauseating rationalization, arguing that Menendez had already lost “everything,” his high office, his reputation, and probably his marriage since he tried to blame everything on his wife, who will be tried in March. The guilty verdict has already “rendered him a national punchline and stripped him of every conceivable personal, professional, and financial benefit,” the ex-Senator’s lawyers argued in court papers. Yup, it’s the good old reliable Rationalization #38 B: Excessive Accountability, or “He’s Suffered Enough.”

No he hasn’t….