1. The news from Mar-a-Lago reveals that even Presidential assassins are getting dumber. A Gen. Z would be assassin was shot dead by the Secret Service after breaching President Trump’s part-time home base with a shotgun and a can of gasoline. Pro tip: Always makes sure the President is going to be where you’re going to be if you’re trying to kill him. Trump was in D.C., not Florida.

2. Next, the stupidest on-the-scene report of an attempted POTUS assassination ever! Fox News’s reporter in Florida began babbling about how rare assassinations of Presidents were before Trump took office. “There have only been four! Lincoln, Harrison, and, ah, Kennedy..” He was then mercifully cut off. Benjamin Harrison was assassinated? I did not know that! (He was thinking of Garfield.) The other guy this crack reporter never heard of was William McKinley…you know, whose death made Teddy Roosevelt President? Five minutes later the idiot was back on the air with his history straight.

3. Representative Katie Porter, regarded as a strong candidate to succeed Gavin Newsome as California Governor did this at a campaign rally:

4. Across the continent in New York City, whose voters were so dumb that they elected a Jew-hating Muslim communist as mayor who promptly appointed a woman who declared war on pet dogs, Mayor Mamdani is inexplicably requiring volunteer snow-shovellers in his city to present a photo ID and a social security card. This, as his party fights tooth and nail in the U.S. Senate to prevent required voter IDs in our elections.

5. Of course, Republicans are stupid too. Let’s start with President Trump, who said while attacking the Supreme Court for striking down one of his justifications for unilaterally imposing tariffs, that he is “ashamed of certain members of the court — absolutely ashamed for not having the courage to do what’s right for our country.”

Jeez, Mr. President, read the Constitution…maybe even this book. It’s not too much to expect the President of the United States to know what the Court’s job is, is it? Rulings are not supposed to based on what unelected justices think is “right for the country.” Deciding what’s “right for the country” is Congress’s job and that of the President, but their decisions have to be legal, not wise, to get past SCOTUS.

6. Then, in Tennessee, a bill sponsored by Rep. Jody Barrett (R-Dickson) and backed by Reps. Bud Hulsey, Monty Fritts and Ed Butler, with a Senate companion bill sponsored by Sen. Mark Pody, declares that life should be protected “from fertilization to natural death,” and revises state assault and homicide laws to apply the same legal standards to abortions as they would apply to murder cases. Fritts, who is running for governor, has been telling reporters that “murder is murder.” The bill would require the same penalties for women “involved in the homicide of her own unborn child” as defendants charged with homicide, and removes legal protections for pregnant women by classifying harm done to an unborn child as equal to assault on a person “born alive.”

If Republicans want to make the pro-abortion fear-mongering about the U.S. heading for the dystopian world of “A Handmaiden’s Tale” seem plausible, that’s the way to do it.

7. Finally, the question of whether Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-New York) is really an idiot of just plays one on TV seemed to be decisively answered in Germany when she talked about her vision of U.S. foreign policy last week and made no sense whatsoever. “What we are seeking is a return to a rules-based order that eliminates the hypocrisies around when too often in the West we look the other way for inconvenient populations, to act out these paradoxes,” AOC said at one point, doing her best Kamala Harris impression. When AOC was asked whether the U.S. would defend Taiwan from a Chinese attack, she huminahumina-ed, “This is such a, a, you know, I think that, this is a, um, this is of course, a, ah, a very long-standing, um, policy of the United States.”

Oh. But at least she didn’t say that Benjamin Harrison was assassinated.