To be absolutely clear, the hypothetical apology by Rep. Bowman that follows can’t occur now; it is too late. He has not only lied too much, but most of his allies are now totally committed to his lie, so he couldn’t back out if he wanted to.

However, there was one, brief, shining moment, as King Arthur sings in “Camelot,” when Bowman, realizing that his illegal and unethical conduct had been caught on video, had an opportunity to do a very good deed that would have created immense benefits for him, for his party, for Congress, for young American, for young African Americans, for Congress, for society, and for the nation. Bowman didn’t take that opportunity,because he is corrupt and stupid, and even today probably couldn’t be made to understand why issuing the following statement was the wise and ethical course. But it would have been.

Here is what I would have advised Rep. Bowman to say, had I been his ethics consultant:

“As has been widely reported, a video shows me pulling a fire alarm in the Cannon Office Building before the House’s vote on the interim funding bill. Let me be straightforward and honest now, because the American people deserve no less from their elected representatives. I did this deliberately, in a foolish rush to delay the vote, even though I knew at the time, as I have known all of my adult life, that it was a crime, and was wrong. I have no excuses for this. I committed the same mistake that we all must learn to avoid as we proceed through life: never make decisions rashly, in an emotional state, under the pressures of time and passion. Yet that is exactly what I did. I am ashamed of myself. This conduct was a serious betrayal not only of my constituents and my state, but also of my party and the nation I serve.

I apologize to all of them. I also betrayed myself and my values, and also  every young person in America who should be able to look to me, as they should look to all elected officials, as role models. At this moment, I am not a fit role model. I have a long journey back to be deserving of trust.

In recent months there has been a lot of public discourse about double standards in our justice system, and the dangerous political use of our laws. I am stating right now that I will not be the beneficiary of any such double standard. I broke a law and an important one: I should face the same penalty as any citizen. After this statement, I plan on presenting myself to the proper authorities. There is no need for any investigations. I am guilty, and I will accept any punishment and consequences that the District of Columbia and Congress deem appropriate.

Polls show that there has been a terrible decline in the public’s trust in its democratic institutions. I am overwhelmed by regret and remorse that my conduct in this incident has probably exacerbated that. Today I vow that as part of my contrition and restitution for what I did in the Cannon Building, I will, if I am allowed to remain a member of Congress, dedicate myself to restoring that lost trust. I also call upon my colleagues, on both sides of the aisle, to join me in that mission.

Thank-you.

Too bad he couldn’t see it. Too bad none of our members of Congress would, in all likelihood.