“The Ortiz Standard,” With An Ethics Note To High Appointed Officials: If You Can’t Say Something Responsible And Intelligent, Please Shut Up!

Gee, thanks, guys. Fuck.

Gee, thanks, guys. Fuck.

Apparently April is officially “Let’s Make The U.S. Permanently Vulgar and Uncivil Month.”

We’ve had a University of Maryland sorority lovely ream out her charges with a rant that would, in the words of Henry Higgins, “make a sailor blush.” Kmart launched a potty-minded commercial based entirely on the hilarious similarity between the phrase “ship my pants” and “shit my pants,” including two happy seniors boasting how they “shipped our pants.” In Bismarck, North Dakota, a local station’s brand new anchor man’s very first words to the audience were “…fucking shit!” because he didn’t know his mic was live.  And, of course, given the honor of representing his team during the Boston Red Sox’s pre-game ceremony honoring the heroes of the past week in their terror-besieged city, slugger David Ortiz told 35,000+ spectators, including many children, and a large TV audience, also including young children, watching the event, “This is our fucking city!” He was then unanimously praised for his passion.

Not to be left out of this full-throated endorsement of public incivility and locker room banter as the new normal, FCC Chairman Julius Genachowski sent out a tweet for those wondering how Ortiz’s outburst would be received by the FCC, which has previously threatened fines of networks that didn’t take sufficient precautions against live obscenities. He wrote,

“David Ortiz spoke from the heart at today’s Red Sox game. I stand with Big Papi and the people of Boston – Julius.”

So that’s the new, government sanctioned standard for public obscenity, is it, Julius? As long as it’s heartfelt, you’re all in favor of it? I suppose this means that when North Korea nukes Seoul, we can expect you to be applauding President Obama’s address that begins, “Fucking North Korea! I’ve had it with those fucks! They fucked with the wrong fucking President!” As long as it’s “from the heart,” right? I’d say the “from the heart” standard will validate almost all uses of fuck, fucking, motherfucker, and even such colorful variations as fuck-face and fuck-turd, don’t you think? Nobody doubts John McClain’s sincerity when he spouts, “Yippeekayay, motherfucker!” before blowing away bad guys. So when a 7th grader disappointed with her grade shouts “Fuck you!” to her teacher, she should be immune from punishment; no less an authority than the Chairman of the FCC has pronounced her language appropriate, as long as she really, really means it.

Don’t get me wrong—I never thought the FCC had a dog in this hunt to begin with. Punishing the broadcasters of the Academy Awards because Melissa Leo is a boor and couldn’t restrain herself from dropping an f-bomb when she won an Oscar is an abuse of government authority and power. The culture should enforce civility by making its disapproval of public figures too inarticulate, juvenile and ill-bred to know where they are and what kind of speech is appropriate clear and unequivocal. That goal, however, is completely undermined by statements from agency officials explicitly approving vulgarity, as Genachowski’s foolish and irresponsible tweet did.

He should be fired for this, of course, but our President doesn’t fire anyone for incompetence, and the certifiably stupid tweet is far less provocation than others in the administration have survived. Besides, the Vice-President already has given us a heart-felt use of “fuck” as well as other vulgarities, and never apologized for them.

In the future, we can thank Genachowski, the President and the Veep for “the Ortiz standard” for public discourse, which is, apparently, that any obscenity is appropriate as long as it’s heartfelt. Through such thoughtless words and conduct from individuals of influence, visibility and power are healthy cultural norms  degraded and destroyed.

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Source and Graphic: Politico

12 thoughts on ““The Ortiz Standard,” With An Ethics Note To High Appointed Officials: If You Can’t Say Something Responsible And Intelligent, Please Shut Up!

  1. The Stranger: There’s just one thing, Dude.
    Jeffrey Lebowski: And what’s that?
    The Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words?
    Jeffrey Lebowski: What the fuck you talking about?
    The Stranger: Okay, Dude. Have it your way.

  2. Qualifiers needed here for clarification: “…any obscenity is appropriate as long at it’s heartfelt”…and uttered by the right people, on behalf of the right people, against the right people or against whatever that is right to utter against…(there may be more qualifiers needed, but missed by me, since I am so [bone-headedly,] deliberately against double standards). Mobs rule.

      • I saw “42” this weekend. Could you imagine Branch Rickey announcing the end of the turn-the-other-cheek period that he demanded of Jackie, by announcing to the press, “You ain’t [f-in’] seen anything from that uppity [n-word] YET!”

      • Is there room for the precision f-bomb, where someone who rarely uses foul language uses it surgically just to emphasize how serious the situation is?

        • Precision f-bombs most aptly fit in scenario involving:
          1) corners of furniture and shin/foot/toe collisions at approximately 2 am in the night
          2) impact of live munitions within effective killing radius
          Or
          3) the nebulous region that exists in the governong mathematical formula where you arent certain of the balace of your vehicle’s gas efficiency, the next nearest gas station, and the amount of gas remaining

          Otherwise, f-bombs really don’t serve functions that much better words can occupy.

  3. P.S., what do you expect from a society that cheered Sarah Silverman’s dad telling an admittedly presumptuous rabbi “you don’t fuck with my family” and “you take your judgmental God and shove God up your ass?”

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