The Miami Marlins Are Selling Fake Memories

 Through June 3, 2017, there have been 296 no-hitters officially recognized by Major League Baseball, 252 of them in the modern era starting in 1901. Seeing one in person is a joy and a treat for any baseball fan, and even the close-but-no cigar games are memorable, as every out, every great play and every batter creates excitement, anticipation, and dread. No sport has anything like no-hitters. 

On that June 3 date, four days ago, Edinson Volquez tossed the first no-no ( as they are colloquially called) this season, and the sixth no-hitter in Miami Marlins history,  defeating the Arizona Diamondbacks. It was an unusual version of the breed because Volquez, a journeyman starter, had two baserunners who reached on walks and saw them erased by double plays. He needed only 98 pitches  to complete the masterpiece.

This comes at a good time for the sad-sack Marlins, who have attendance problems, trust issues (the team twice dismantled a championship team to save money), bad luck (rising superstar pitching ace Jose Fernandez died in a boating accident at the end of last season), hero problems (Fernandez was driving the boat,  he was drunk and on coke, and he killed two of his friends) and ownership uncertainty, for the team is for sale.

A friend living in Florida writes,

“The Miami Marlins selling tickets to a game that’s already been played? I suppose so you can frame them and claim you were at the no-hitter a Marlins’ pitcher threw on June 3rd. From the email they sent me, since I live in Florida and do attend three or four Marlins games a season:

“For those of you who missed attending the game but want to own a souvenir piece of history, unsold tickets from the game are still available by clicking here. Online purchases will be printed and mailed. Fans can also purchase tickets in-person at the Marlins Park Ticket Office.”

Of course, the unsold-then-sold tickets will diminish the value of the tickets owned by the fans who really attended the game, and the Marlins are, as my friend suggested, facilitating future lies.  Never mind, though: this all about greed.

I attended the famous 6th game of the 1975 World Series, when Carlton Fisk hit his hone run off the left field foul pole in Fenway Park to win one of the most exciting and dramatic baseball games ever played. I kept my ticket in my wallet for years. The Boston Red Sox never tried to make a buck by making my fondest memory commonplace and selling tickets to the game after the fact. The Red Sox have had some no-hitters that were sparsely attended too, and the legendary game  in 1960 when Ted Williams hit a home run in his final at bat in his final game was only seen by 10, 454. Thousands of fans who weren’t there said they were, and would have loved to have a ticket to back up their fantasy. But then the Boston Red Sox aren’t the Miami Marlins.

Thank God.


Pointer: Gregg Wiggins

11 thoughts on “The Miami Marlins Are Selling Fake Memories

  1. Baseball is a thinking man’s game. All of the virtues and vices one finds in life are part of the game, in microcosm.

    Selling tickets this way is fraud, but a legal version, I suppose. Why would you want to buy one of these, unless a) you are a die-hard fan and collector, or b) you want to lie later?

    Sick, and the very thought violates what makes Baseball great.

    • There is very little left of what once made baseball great. And baseball can be used as a metaphors for a lot of things that were great once a long time ago and moving away fast.

      • I have no idea what you are talking about. I’ve watched baseball carefully and passionately since…well, a long time.The game itself is played better, by more athletic and more diverse players than ever before. Players used to be paid pathetic waivers, and were bound to teams as long as they wanted them. It was almost impossible for traditionally bad teams to get to a World Series, while the Yankees won pennants almost every year. The parks were run down, and only 16 teams meant that most people could never see a game in person. TV broadcasts were rare and poor quality. Games were changed by bad calls and there was no way to know, or fix it. The game was also played stupidly. Nobody gathered stats, so a .300 hitter with a .320 on base average was regarded as a better lead-off than a player with a .400 oba whose average was .260. Few Hispanics, no Asians.

        Games take too long, but that’s the trade-off for TV, which is now excellent. Attendance is better than ever. The music is too loud in a lot of stadiums, but that’s a generational thing. Food is ridiculously expensive, but its also much better. Seats are more comfortable.

        And the amazing, unpredictable, dramatic, tense, quirky, infuriating game remains the same.

        The case that baseball is somehow less entertaining than 10, 20, 30, 40 or 50 years ago is untenable.

  2. The funny thing here is that in the Olden Days, they had to print up the tickets beforehand so they’d be available for sale. If there was some outstanding outcome, you could forgive insiders maybe grabbing a few souvenirs to spread around, because the unsold tickets were just going to be shredded, anyway. These tickets, of course, have not even been printed. What’s next – they sell out these, and then start selling theoretical Standing Room tickets?

  3. I’m going to show my age but is theee any difference facially between a used and unused ticket? If you went to the game you might want to buy a ticket in pristine condition.

    Hey, I’m trying.

      • Right. Somewhere I have my ticket from the last game at tiger stadium (ah, the old corner at Michigan and trumbull!). Even though they gave us a laminate, it is not in great shape. I might consider an unused ticket even though I was there.

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