I’m chortling in my joy because I FINALLY figured out how to navigate the Massachusetts efiling system sufficiently to get my reply appellee’s brief in just before the March 1 deadline. What is known at ProEthics as “The Stupid Lawsuit” has eaten up enough billable hours for me to buy a Lexus if anyone was paying me for it. Having this thing off my back is like having a 75 pound wart removed, not that I don’t expect a new assault eventually
This is, as loyal followers here know, the continuation of the frivolous defamation suit filed against me by a mad commenter who had his little boo-boo bruised by the rough and tumble here. I referred to him in metaphorical terms that weren’t very nice, but they weren’t defamatory either, and now that I have experienced the full vindictiveness of this guy, I realize that my terms were unnecessarily restrained. My return brief, however, was a model of respect and decorum, and also only 12 pages, five of which are mandatory boilerplate. His was seventy incoherent pages or something: I confess to not reading more than a few of them, using the rest to make little origami frogs. The gist was the judge who dismissed the suit in August was an unqualified fool whom I had hypnotized or otherwise turned into my lackey, and I…well, heck, let me get the thing out of my files and not recite it from memory…am a “craven, venal LIAR” who had displayed “toxic mendacity”, though “Orwellian psychosis may possibly overstate the case.”
I asked, more than once, during my many pleasant phone exchanges with law clerks familiar with the case—I could hear their eyes rolling between the giggles—if I really had to submit any response at all, since “See? SEE??“ should have been sufficient. “No,” they said, “We like to have official submissions from both sides.” Fine.
This is a wonderful country where everyone has access to the courts, even those who are prone to shouting in a Wal-Mart using Esperanto that they are the Lizard King, and they get to appeal, and file, and re-file and waste judges’ time and taxpayer money until the cows come home, or at least they think they see the cows, carrying travel bags I suspect. I am a great supporter of it all, but I can only imagine the kind of money the rich, powerful and famous have to shell out to big law firms to deal with this kind of garbage. I will also think back on this adventure the next time I am tempted to think, when I read that a public figure has been sued by Gloria Allred or Michael Avenatti, that the defendant must have done something to deserve it.