CALLOO! CALLAY!

I’m chortling in my joy because I FINALLY figured out how to navigate the Massachusetts efiling system sufficiently to get my reply appellee’s brief in just before the March 1 deadline. What is known at ProEthics as “The Stupid Lawsuit” has eaten up enough billable hours for me to buy a Lexus if anyone was paying me for it. Having this thing off my back is like having a 75 pound wart removed, not that I don’t expect a new assault eventually

This is, as loyal followers here know, the continuation of the frivolous defamation suit filed against me by a mad commenter who had his little boo-boo bruised by the rough and tumble here. I referred to him in metaphorical terms that weren’t very nice, but they weren’t defamatory either, and now that I have experienced the full vindictiveness of this guy, I realize that my terms were unnecessarily restrained. My return brief, however, was a model of respect and decorum, and also only 12 pages, five of which are mandatory boilerplate. His was seventy incoherent pages or something: I confess to not reading more than a few of them, using the rest to make little origami frogs. The gist was the judge who dismissed the suit in August was an unqualified fool whom I had hypnotized or otherwise turned into my lackey, and I…well, heck, let me get the thing out of my files and not recite it from memory…am a “craven, venal LIAR” who had displayed “toxic mendacity”, though “Orwellian psychosis may possibly overstate the case.”

I asked, more than once, during my many pleasant phone exchanges with law clerks familiar with the case—I could hear their eyes rolling between the giggles—if I really had to submit any response at all, since “See? SEE?? should have been sufficient. “No,” they said, “We like to have official submissions from both sides.” Fine.

This is a wonderful country where everyone has access to the courts, even those who are prone to shouting in a Wal-Mart using Esperanto that they are the Lizard King, and they get to appeal, and file, and re-file and waste judges’ time and taxpayer money until the cows come home, or at least they think they see the cows, carrying travel bags I suspect. I am a great supporter of it all, but I can only imagine the kind of money the rich, powerful and famous have to shell out to big law firms to deal with this kind of garbage. I will also think back on this adventure the next time I am tempted to think, when I read that a public figure has been sued by Gloria Allred or Michael Avenatti, that the defendant must have done something to deserve it.

Not necessarily.

19 thoughts on “CALLOO! CALLAY!

  1. On your last point, I saw otherwise intelligent people on Facebook (and Shannon Sharpe, I believe) opine that the NFL must have done something wrong if they settled with Colin Kaepernick, because they could have fought him all the way.

    Yes, but that is not how it works.

    And, the NFL is so devoted to developing the image it wants to put out that it could not allow someone else to have that control. No one but the NFL can use the NFL for profit.

    -Jut

  2. I think your response after necessary boilerplate should have been a reference to his statement followed by res ipsa loquitur. But I’m guessing that wouldn’t actually have been sufficient.

  3. I confess that I read the posts on this in the same manner people slow down to see what happened in that car accident.

    It would be best to let the participants get on with the process and pass safely and quickly by, and I truly hope no one was hurt, but I just HAVE to see the pile of mangled steel, glass, and radiator fluid splayed out in the street.

    I do hope this ends it, though!

      • I’m afraid that’s right. He has nothing better to do. Unfortunately, I have. You know the beginning of “Dawn of The Dead,” fast zombie version, when Sarah Polley’s boyfriend has zombified and is chasing her car, gnashing and growling,then someone distracts him in another yard and he turns and attacks them instead?

        It’s like that.

        • I saw that preview. Absolutely compelling was that advertisement. Apparently, Stephen King, that ASS, agrees with me (screw you, cognitive dissonance scale).

          I do not think that trailer was quite as compelling as anything else I had ever seen.

          I just said that wrong.

          Anyway, that scene saw the breadth of chaos that was breathtaking

          -Jut

        • Z, I have not. But…I have been out of the field for 11 years, and have not kept up with various DSM’s. Histrionic personality disorder has been around for a while, but I, right now, couldn’t tell you if it is in the newer DSM’s or not. (For those unfamiliar, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual is what psychologists used and probably still do, to formulate formal diagnoses.)

  4. Michael Avenetti/ How do these guys pay their bills and get to the end of the month and have a positive balance in their checking accounts? Beats me. They are right out of Dickens or Austin and must live on the credit of trades people. Screw their “partners,” I guess? When they’re not literally screwing Ukrainian twenty two year-olds?

  5. What is known at ProEthics as “The Stupid Lawsuit” has eaten up enough billable hours for me to buy a Lexus if anyone was paying me for it.

    I suspect, but do not know, that that is precisely the effect the plaintiff was going for.

    You know a lawsuit is frivolous when the old adage, “The lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client” does not apply.

  6. That someone can get away with this sort of action validates my already low opinion of our jurisprudence system.

    In Texas of many years ago, such would be dealt with summarily, and the verdict would have been “He (she) needed killing.”

    Alas, we are more civilized these days, and such is no longer accepted. And hiding the body is MUCH harder, what with overpopulation and technology and all.

  7. It is aggravating that a suit like this goes forward. The real problem isn’t that he can file the suit, the problem is that the system has no good way to effectively handle a frivolous suit. On the flip side, I found out I was not allowed to sue the aftermarket warranty company who took my money, then changed the terms of the warranty without even notifying me (changed it from 50,000 miles/3 years of coverage to 3,000 miles/ 3 years of coverage). They did not deny that the paperwork clearly shows 50,000 additional miles of coverage, but they said “We don’t do that type of warranty for your car, so we changed it when we entered it into the computer”. My only option was to fly to NYC, put myself up in a hotel, and hope the arbitrators that the warranty company hired would side with me and not their employers. Thanks a lot, Supreme Court.

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