Seattle’s CHAZ—no, wait, it’s CHOP now—police-free zone occupiers, who are giving me flashbacks to the gibberish-spouting SDS campus radicals who took over Harvard’s administration building in the spring of 1969, released their conflict resolution plans, being anarchists and all:
We will form a unique system called the Conflict Resolution Advisory Council.
We hold a community democratic vote to appoint three people to the Council. To eliminate prejudice, we elect one Black man, one Black woman, and one white woman. Each person should undergo at least one 45 minute sensitivity and political training session which we can help organize.
Whenever there is an internal conflict in the Zone, it will be put to the Council. Both people will have an opportunity to present their side of the story to the Council to review.
The Council members will decide on a fair resolution and provide it as advice. Initially the Council will be advisory only. In the future the system could evolve to become more mature with binding resolutions, impositions, retribution, enforcement, and imprisonment.
The appointed people will hear out and settle any internal disputes within the Zone. We’re not suggesting that this Council members become leaders or judges, only referees in case of internal conflicts.
I’d love to ask them to explain how having a black man, a black woman and a white woman will eliminate prejudice, but never mind. Oh, wait! All prejudice and injustice is caused by white men! Got it.
Posted on Reddit were the following amendments to the council plan. Nobody is quite sure if they are real, or a Monty Python-caliber spoof. How would one tell? The Seattle occupiers are silly, uneducated and incompetent, and they are obsessed with progressive, inclusivity, and diversity cant. What follows, if it’s genuine, makes the Green New Deal seem like the Magna Carta. If it isn’t (which i fervently hope), then the People’s Front of Judea (PFJ) from “The Life of Brian” is still doing marvelous work.
I’m pretty certain that by Edits 8 and 9, the brilliant wag who wrote this is revealing the gag…but I’m still not sure. That’s how ridiculous this group is that Seattle now indulges to the disruption of its city and the affront to its saner citizens.
Edit 1: After receiving feedback about inclusiveness we shall include in the council one Black man, one Black woman, one trans Black person, one non-binary Black person,
and one white woman(54 people).Edit 2: On more feedback we will add to the Council 1 Asian non-male, 1 Native American non-male, and 1 Latinx non-male, and then 4 additional Black men and women to balance it out. In total there are 3 + 4 + 4 = 11 members.
Edit 3: We’ve received some feedback about including disabledpersons (mental and physical) and homelesspersons on the Council. 20% or 40% of the Council should be persons with lived experience of disability. At least 10% should be experiencing involuntary homelessness.
Edit 4: We realize LGBTQIA communities are being under-represented in the Council so far and are working on proposals to rectify this. The final composition of the balanced Council will likely include 10-50% people who identify as LGBTQIA.
Edit 5: We have agreed to add 3 more seats, two of which are to give a voice to the disadvantaged LGBTQIA community, and one to give children equal representation and fairness. The new seats include one for a LGBTQI-identifying Black disabledperson, one for a LGBTQI-identifying Black homelessperson, and one for a non-white or mixed race child between the ages of 8 and 15
.Edit 6: There have been further concerns raised over the efficacy of the Council to deal with disputes between children, as children are currently not adequately represented. In light of the feedback, we will add child safety training programs to the onboarding session and add one additional seat for another non-white or mixed race child between the ages of 8 and 15 (preferably disabled).
Edit 7: We’ve heard your concerns about the Asian non-male seat representing all Asian subgroups as if they are a monolithic identity. That wasn’t our intention. We will replace the Asian non-male seat with 12 mini-seats for each of the following Asian non-male identities: Chinese, Filipino, Vietnamese, Korean, Japanese, Cambodian, Taiwanese, Malaysian, Mongolian, Okinawan, Singaporean, and wildcard (any Asian identity, except Korean-American). The mini-seats will collectively hold the voting power of one seat
.Edit 8: We’ve been told that our Council under-represents those with a criminal record or incarceration experience, as white culture allows people to suffer a particular disadvantage because of past convictions. The Council will mandate that more than 25% of its members must have a violent criminal history with previous or current incarceration experience.
Edit 9: Some women have expressed to us that they wouldn’t feel comfortable presenting a case involving a sexual offence to a Council that is partly made up of criminals with a history of committing sexual offences. We are placing a cap of 50% on the proportion of Council members who have performed one or more premeditated sexual assaults or rapes in the preceding twelve months. Homelesspersons and disabled persons are exempt from this cap.
_______________________________
Pointer: Jeff Reynolds
Ethics Alarms 
C onflict
R esolution
A dvisory
P anel.
Fixed it for them…
I swear I had the exact same thought before I saw your comment. Great minds…
Perhaps, but CRAP wouldn’t be my last…um…inspiration:
S impleminded
H orde of
I ndoctrication (sic)
T rustees
Re: Edit 7.
At least slaves were considered 3/5 of a white person.
This is basically an anti-heterosexual cisgenderes white male scheme.
Not sure why Asian men are lumped in there, it’s not like the country’s history of dealing with Asians (especialy Chinese and Japanese) is sparkling.
On another aspect of “CHAZ” and other delightfully stupid radical activist abbreviations, Jonah Goldberg gives us this about the abject stupidity of the civilization eaters thinking they can create a new civilization free of the institutions that a integral to civilization-
https://gfile.thedispatch.com/p/the-growing-chazm-in-seattle
That was a fantastic read, Michael. Thanks for the link.
–Dwayne
You’re welcome. It’s even better when you read it in Jonah Goldberg’s voice.
Just a sample.
I have absolutely no doubt that the list of edits are some very clever satire. It’s pretty damned funny, too!
Edit 9 appears to me to be indicative of a joke.
I can’t imagine woke diversity police even suggesting that anyone who premeditatively raped or sexually assaulted a women be on this Council.
I could be wrong, of course. It’s hard to determine what is a joke and what isn’t, especially when statements that appear serious can be recategorized as jokes when the inevitable backlash occurs.
Note the specific working here–“…have performed … premeditated sexual assaults or rapes in the preceding twelve months.” Not convicted, but “have performed”–so any convict ending a one year sentence could immediately serve without impacting the percentage. Is it that hard to find council members without rape experience such that you set the limit so short? What if a convict maintained innocence throughout the trial and conviction? And why premeditation? Jeffery Dahmer and Ted Bundy both claimed to be entranced during their crimes and not in full control of their actions, would they be allowed to serve?
If you don’t want to live under rules created by stupid people then you need to set aside your apathy for society and politics, stand up for intelligent truths and do something about what’s happening!
It seems appropriate to share a couple of things that I wrote almost exactly a year ago…
A few days after I wrote that, I wrote this…
The opinion I wrote a year ago seem even more relevant today. I’ve been saying that it’s going to get worse before it gets better; well folks, it’s gotten worse and what do you think will happen when these stupid people don’t get their way this time?
Tucker Carlson has an interesting perspective on Black Lives Matter….
Also, I created this graphic a couple of days ago, feel free to share it…
You could also use the hashtag #defendnotdefund
The opinion I wrote a year ago seem even more relevant today. I’ve been saying that it’s going to get worse before it gets better; well folks, it’s gotten worse and what do you think will happen when these stupid people don’t get their way this time?
Wait, I’m thinking.
If you don’t fall in line with the hive you’ll be considered a pariah . . .
You are becoming a radical Steve!
This implies of course having become free of that ‘hive mind’ though. And there is very little evidence that you have done this in a substantial sense though you can, at least, recognize that a hive operates, uses coercion and social engineering as its primary tool, and if left unchallenged will eventually go on to destroy many important things of value.
But you-plural have no idea why what is happening is happening, and you have NO PLAN WHATEVER to oppose it.
What is required to oppose it scares you-plural to death . . . and you-plural retreat into another sort of hive mind.
There! I said it! I laid it out. Irrefutable.
You see what I suggest is a sort of humility. The recognition that you do not have enough information, or understanding, to guide the show. You are only at the beginning of *seeing* the problem.
How can it be otherwise, Alizia? People who see conspiracies are often delusional, so we are conditioned to be wary of accepting such ideas. Even when there are organized efforts to push society in a certain direction, the actual successful process may be more dependent on cumulative random planned but uncoordinated acts, and unplanned organic occurrences. Society is a driverless car running down the road and being steered by sideswiping whatever is erected or randomly occurs on the shoulders and bumps it towards the other side. Besides intentionally built “walls” and randomly occurring “rocks and trees” a “guardrail” on one side may be initially created by an unplanned event, but extended by the planned (but possibly still uncoordinated) actions of certain parties into a long stretch relentlessly bumping the car left. (OK, that’s a pretty tortured metaphor, but take it or leave it; I generally don’t have the mental energy or inclination to invest in long scholarly expoundings.)
With most of the media (either as useful idiots or controlled operatives) being on the ideological side of those more willing to be lawless and violent, how does the other side compete? Just “seeing” seems inadequate. Will it take major atrocities by the left or their violence approaching the level of civil war to provoke an effective backlash in kind?
Oops. For animal lovers ….forgot to include a black bear (non-male, of course).
I’ m left to wonder…
Are there actually enough people in the country of Chop to fill all the seats on it’s CRAP Council ??
This is very speciesist. Everyone knows that penguins are non-violent and really cute, and foxes are clever; why no representation? A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy!