Seattle’s CHAZ—no, wait, it’s CHOP now—police-free zone occupiers, who are giving me flashbacks to the gibberish-spouting SDS campus radicals who took over Harvard’s administration building in the spring of 1969, released their conflict resolution plans, being anarchists and all:
We will form a unique system called the Conflict Resolution Advisory Council.
We hold a community democratic vote to appoint three people to the Council. To eliminate prejudice, we elect one Black man, one Black woman, and one white woman. Each person should undergo at least one 45 minute sensitivity and political training session which we can help organize.
Whenever there is an internal conflict in the Zone, it will be put to the Council. Both people will have an opportunity to present their side of the story to the Council to review.
The Council members will decide on a fair resolution and provide it as advice. Initially the Council will be advisory only. In the future the system could evolve to become more mature with binding resolutions, impositions, retribution, enforcement, and imprisonment.
The appointed people will hear out and settle any internal disputes within the Zone. We’re not suggesting that this Council members become leaders or judges, only referees in case of internal conflicts.
I’d love to ask them to explain how having a black man, a black woman and a white woman will eliminate prejudice, but never mind. Oh, wait! All prejudice and injustice is caused by white men! Got it.
Posted on Reddit were the following amendments to the council plan. Nobody is quite sure if they are real, or a Monty Python-caliber spoof. How would one tell? The Seattle occupiers are silly, uneducated and incompetent, and they are obsessed with progressive, inclusivity, and diversity cant. What follows, if it’s genuine, makes the Green New Deal seem like the Magna Carta. If it isn’t (which i fervently hope), then the People’s Front of Judea (PFJ) from “The Life of Brian” is still doing marvelous work.
I’m pretty certain that by Edits 8 and 9, the brilliant wag who wrote this is revealing the gag…but I’m still not sure. That’s how ridiculous this group is that Seattle now indulges to the disruption of its city and the affront to its saner citizens.
Edit 1: After receiving feedback about inclusiveness we shall include in the council one Black man, one Black woman, one trans Black person, one non-binary Black person,
and one white woman( 54 people).
Edit 2: On more feedback we will add to the Council 1 Asian non-male, 1 Native American non-male, and 1 Latinx non-male, and then 4 additional Black men and women to balance it out. In total there are 3 + 4 + 4 = 11 members.
Edit 3: We’ve received some feedback about including disabledpersons (mental and physical) and homelesspersons on the Council. 20% or 40% of the Council should be persons with lived experience of disability. At least 10% should be experiencing involuntary homelessness.
Edit 4: We realize LGBTQIA communities are being under-represented in the Council so far and are working on proposals to rectify this. The final composition of the balanced Council will likely include 10-50% people who identify as LGBTQIA.
Edit 5: We have agreed to add 3 more seats, two of which are to give a voice to the disadvantaged LGBTQIA community, and one to give children equal representation and fairness. The new seats include one for a LGBTQI-identifying Black disabledperson, one for a LGBTQI-identifying Black homelessperson, and one for a non-white or mixed race child between the ages of 8 and 15
.Edit 6: There have been further concerns raised over the efficacy of the Council to deal with disputes between children, as children are currently not adequately represented. In light of the feedback, we will add child safety training programs to the onboarding session and add one additional seat for another non-white or mixed race child between the ages of 8 and 15 (preferably disabled).
Edit 7: We’ve heard your concerns about the Asian non-male seat representing all Asian subgroups as if they are a monolithic identity. That wasn’t our intention. We will replace the Asian non-male seat with 12 mini-seats for each of the following Asian non-male identities: Chinese, Filipino, Vietnamese, Korean, Japanese, Cambodian, Taiwanese, Malaysian, Mongolian, Okinawan, Singaporean, and wildcard (any Asian identity, except Korean-American). The mini-seats will collectively hold the voting power of one seat
.Edit 8: We’ve been told that our Council under-represents those with a criminal record or incarceration experience, as white culture allows people to suffer a particular disadvantage because of past convictions. The Council will mandate that more than 25% of its members must have a violent criminal history with previous or current incarceration experience.
Edit 9: Some women have expressed to us that they wouldn’t feel comfortable presenting a case involving a sexual offence to a Council that is partly made up of criminals with a history of committing sexual offences. We are placing a cap of 50% on the proportion of Council members who have performed one or more premeditated sexual assaults or rapes in the preceding twelve months. Homelesspersons and disabled persons are exempt from this cap.
Pointer: Jeff Reynolds