The Great Stupid obviously know no bounds.
PepsiCo’s Frito-Lay has announced that “Cracker Jills” is now an official product, because popcorn and peanuts are obviously the way to celebrate women in sports. The snack will be available in ballparks, and as part of the pandering exercise, PepsiCo will donate $200,000 Women’s Sports Foundation (WSF).
Cracker Jills are no different in substance than the 125-year old classic Cracker Jack snacks, but the packages features five different representations of women on the special-edition bags. They represent the most populous ethnicities in the U.S. according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau, because just representing just one woman to stand for all would be racist, or “exclusive” or something.I don’t care. I really don’t: Cracker Jacks were dead to me once they stopped putting real prizes in the box and started economizing on popcorn. It’s a crummy product now. Still, the degree of pandering and desperate virtue-signalling is so insincere, it’s nauseating. Consider:
- Crackerjack is a slang word meaning “of excellent quality” going back more than a century. It has nothing to do with gender, except that “jack” was a colloquialism for “sailor” around the same time. But “jack” means a lot of things, and has for a very long time.
- The logo for Crackerjacks has always been, in fact, a sailor, “Sailor Jack,” and his dog “Bingo,” who looks like a Jack Russell to me.Note: “Sailor Jack,” not “Athlete Jack.” Pepsi could have decided to honor female members of the Navy, but that wouldn’t pander enough, I guess. Is it discriminatory to have a white, male cartoon character as a logo? That is clearly the theory, and based on the five “Jills” all human logos must include all genders, ethnicities and races, or they won’t be diverse and inclusive enough.
- The timing of this is intended to coincide with the baseball season, because “Take Me out To The Ball Game” is played and often sung in most ballparks, and there is a famous reference to Crackerjacks:
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don’t care if I never get back.
It’s the worst lyric in the song: the stuff is “Cracker Jacks,” not “Jack” It’s a lazy rhyme, and drives me crazy. Jerry Herman was infamous for rhymes like that, as when he rhymes “laughter” with “ringing through the rafter” in “Mame’s” “We Need a Little Christmas.”
Brooke DiPalma on Yahoo writes, “‘Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jills'” may be the new tune in stadiums this upcoming baseball season.” Really, Brooke? How will that work? “Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jills; I don’t care if they cost 20 bills…” But I guess all the lyrics have to be changed too, or the song will be sexist. After what they did to “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” don’t bet against it.
- I’m shocked that one of the “Jills” isn’t transgender. You wait: someone is lobbying Pepsi as I write this.
I wonder if and when the hysterical “diversity, equity and inclusion” mania will collapse from its own silliness, how much damage it will do to our culture and sanity before it does. Cracker Jacks definitely is one of the minor casualties.
I’ll tell you this, though. I’m not changing my name to Jill.