Amber Heard Life Competence Note: If You Can’t Come Up With A Better Answer Than This, Don’t Agree To Do Interviews

I don’t care about Amber Heard and I don’t care about Johnny Depp. However, when a celebrity says something this stunningly stupid, attention must be paid.

During an “exclusive interview” on NBC regarding her humiliating loss in her defamation trial versus her ex-spouse Johnny Depp, Heard was asked to comment on the fact that Depp’s lawyer said in his closing argument that Heard was “acting” and gave “a performance of a lifetime.” “What do you say to that?”

Heard’s response: “Said the lawyer of a man who convinced the world that he had scissors for fingers.”

Wait, what? Was anyone over the age of six convinced that Depp really had scissors for fingers, much less “the world”? This is the woman whose allegations “must be believed” and that #MeToo warriors found credible? What kind of thought process would permit someone to think that was a reasonable response to utter on television? If that’s how she thinks, then nothing, literally no fantasy, delusion or distortion is beyond her reach.

I just had to get this out of my brain or, like Louis Black’s story about an over-heard inexplicable comment at a restaurant triggering a fatal aneurysm, it might have festered and killed me.

It might anyway…

__________________

Pointer: Not the Bee

9 thoughts on “Amber Heard Life Competence Note: If You Can’t Come Up With A Better Answer Than This, Don’t Agree To Do Interviews

  1. Having ignored the trial in its entirety, I’m going to play devil’s advocate and say that she may have meant that Depp is such a compelling actor that he got the world to take him seriously as a man with scissors for fingers, in the same vein as “You’ll believe a man can fly” with reference to Superman: The Movie.

    That said, since Heard is an actress herself, her remark just comes off as snippy.

  2. During an “exclusive interview” on NBC regarding her humiliating loss in her defamation trial versus her ex-spouse Johnny Depp, Heard was asked to comment on the fact that Depp’s lawyer said in his closing argument that Heard was “acting” and gave “a performance of a lifetime.” “What do you say to that?”

    The interviewer was just looking to score rating points at the expense of Ms Heard who missed a golden opportunity to begin the suturing process of this mildly festering wound. She should have been prepared.

    “Gosh that hurts to think that people do not believe me but Johnny’s lawyers are paid to advocate for their client. I am mostly left with enormous regret that two people who once loved each other lost their way to the degree that we did and went public with all the ugliness that arose from pain, misunderstanding, and immaturity. I have a lot of healing and growing up ahead of me and frankly my career is subordinate to that inner work. I am genuinely sorry for the hurt I inflicted on Johnny and hope forgiveness is what we both can experience in the end.”

    Something like that.
    Amber can hire Batman if she truly wants to heal and move forward on all levels.
    I have excellent references.

  3. As someone who watched literally every minute of that trial… This was kind of par for the course. Someone above referred to Amber as a teenager in an adult’s body, and in a lot of ways, I think that’s close. It’s like she never aged past the petty sociopathy of teenagedom and instead carried it forward like a torch into adulthood where she could really do damage with it.

    There are three things that I think you need to know about Amber:

    1) She was prepped. And she paid people good money to prep her.
    2) She is utterly uncontrollable and untrainable. And
    3) She is not good at thinking on her feet.

    So, before I tie those things to this, I’ll give an example;

    During the trial, there was a series of questions when Amber was on the stand about things that had been scrawled onto a bathroom mirror in paint after Johnny had lost a portion of his index finger to a thrown vodka bottle (at least in his version, which is the more probable in my opinion.) Also on the mirror was a message in lipstick: “Call Carly Simon, She Said it Better Babe” (referring to her song “You’re so Vain”). It was obvious to me immediately on seeing it that Amber had written it, the handwriting was neat, and Johnny’s… wasn’t. I thought the narrative from team Amber was going to be “Yes she wrote that, but she wrote it before Johnny lost part of his finger, look, the black lines are over the red.” Amber’s lawyers, I think, thought that too, because they’d asked a couple of other witnesses about which lines on the mirror were over others. When it got to be Amber’s turn on the stand though, after some very awkward lines of questioning, she denied writing it and said that Johnny had also written that. At the time, I remember thinking: “That’s not the story she told her lawyers, they’re confused and trying to roll with it. That’s not what they expected, that’s not what they practiced, Elaine is seething.”

    Going pack to scissor-fingers. Someone during a practice session had mentioned Edward Scissorhands to her, and suggested a couple of ways to work that in, probably because Johnny had played an awkward (if lovable), not quite human thing that hurt the people he loved through circumstances not under his control. Properly done… It might have landed better (probably not, I’m not sure many people under 30 know the reference, but who knows?) but Amber is untrainable and not very good at thinking on her feet, so instead we get that.

  4. Several friends, both male & female, have confided in me that Johnny should consider himself fortunate to have escaped with only losing part of a finger…

    And yet recent polls indicate that men the world over are still almost uncontrollably attracted to Ms Heard.

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