Tom P. has contributed an inspiring and thoughtful Comment of The Day in response to the disturbing but ultimately uplifting story of how a Russian orphan, abused by her American adoptive parents, not only survived and thrived (that’s Sabrina today with her family, above), but did so without succumbing to bitterness and despair.
Tom’s first line in his comment is especially provocative, I think. When are “we given” that one life we have the opportunity to do with what we can? Isn’t it at the moment a unique genetic being comes into existence, with the living biochemical capacity to develop and grow if others don’t interfere for their own reasons to stop the process? If that is the case, and I do not see any way to deny it with intellectual honesty, how can abortion activists argue their position without dealing with the existence of two lives in the abortion equation, and not only the mother’s?
But the rest of Tom P.’s Comment of the Day on the two-part post, “The Incredible Sabrina Caldwell Ethics Train Wreck,” is equally thought-provoking. Here it is:
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We are each given but one life and it is up to us and only us how we choose to live it. In the United States at least, except for our genetics and eventually dying everything else is of our choosing. That is not to say that everything is within our control or that our choices come without consequences. Basically, regardless of the situation each of us can control the choice but not the outcome.
Sometimes we can evaluate alternatives, foresee possible outcomes, and make an informed calculated choice. Sometimes we can’t. If all goes well, that’s great. It is what we do when all does not go well however that defines us. It determines our outlook on life and our level of happiness. For me, there are three keys to my happiness. When things don’t go well, I refuse to consider myself a victim, I count my blessings and try to learn from my misfortunes. Even when things go well, I count my blessings and discount my misfortunes.
It seems to me that Sabrina may also embrace these principles. While she admittedly had the help of a caring soul ultimately, I believe her inner strength and positive attitude allowed her to grow and prosper. She either consciously or unconsciously understood that victimhood, self-pity, and resentments only hurt her and those around her. Our country would benefit greatly if more people embraced her example.
What causes this mindset is unclear to me. It could be nature, nurture, life’s experiences, all, or none of the above. For me, I think a near-death experience helped inspire my current philosophy. Did the near-death experience create my philosophy or merely serve as a catalyst? I have no idea, and I don’t care. It is not important to me.
Regrettably, our progressive woke culture has divided our population into two groups. You are either an abuser or the victim of an abuser. The current abusers are rich white folk who don’t pay their fair share and revel in their white privilege. They have institutionalized systemic racism so they can exploit “people of color”. Progressives drum into the heads of the populous that the perpetrators of crime are themselves, victims. They loudly proclaim blacks can’t succeed, are impoverished, and are disproportionately incarcerated because of systemic racism and not because of their life choices.
It is easy to be a victim it doesn’t require any work or courage. You can just sit back on your pity pot and build resentments and discontent. Victims Look to politicians to solve their problems. The politicians are more than happy to stoke the discontent. The last thing they want is a happy, and self-reliant electorate.
Our country is severely divided our economy is in turmoil, discontent is rampant. Our country needs more Sabrina’s and fewer people embracing victimhood. Our country would benefit if each of us in our small way would complain less, and do less finger-pointing. The problems we are currently facing in this country are not Trump’s or Biden’s fault we are the ones who elected those, Bozos. We are the ones sending the same clowns back to Washington each election. We need to demand solutions and accountability from our elected officials, not band-aids. For example, if there are problems with teen pregnancies, foster care, and adoption services demand those problems be fixed. Abortion is an irresponsible cowardly band-aid.
Ethics Alarms 
[posting again without the link to the cited article, hoping to circumvent the spam filter]
“We are each given but one life and it is up to us and only us how we choose to live it. In the United States at least, except for our genetics and eventually dying everything else is of our choosing.”
Ah, if only that were true.
If it were true, it would be true regardless of the country, the state, the town or city, or the neighborhood in which one grew up. It would be closer to the truth if we were brought into this world as fully-formed, thinking, rational adults. But, we spend many years in circumstances that are only partially or not at all under our control. Those circumstances have a real and lasting impact on us, an impact that is not limited to the sociological or the psychological. Biological impacts occur, and while they can, perhaps, be ameliorated by a knowledgeable adult, they cannot be eliminated entirely.
Take for example a minority child who grows up in an environment rife with racism. As shown in a study in the journal, “Neuropsychopharmacology” (the official publication of the American College of Neuropsychopharmacology (ACNP)), “The pervasive and lasting impact of the stress of racism, known as weathering, affects body and brain, and produces an increased risk for mental health disorders in the Black community.”
Still, building on what is most pertinent in your analysis, we can, as adults, learn about the circumstances of our own development when we were not in full control, make choices that will improve our lot in life, and make the best of those things we can’t change.
“it is up to us and only us how we choose to live it” applies regardless of what factors constrain or define those choices. When you have no options, you have no problem. Whatever options life gives us, it’s our choice which we take.
HJ
I have a number of issues with your commentary and will try to respectfully comment on the issues you raise.
I contend your assertion “If it were true, it would be true regardless of the country” is false. I purposely confined my opinion to the United States because there are more than a few countries where individuals are denied free will by the state. North Korea, Saudi Arabia, and Afghanistan to name three prime examples. There are many more.
“we spend many years in circumstances that are only partially or not at all under our control.” I agree with the partial but not the “not at all” portion of your comment. My third sentence states; “That is not to say that everything is within our control or that our choices come without consequences.” Each child in the United States is required by law to attend school. How they spend their time in school is their choice. Whether or not they study is their choice. It is their choice to take or sell drugs. Engage in sex. Become a gang banger or not and so on. Each of those choices are theirs alone. As are many more.
You then cite racism and weathering. I assume you bring up racism as something not in a minority person’s control. Couldn’t agree more. My point is what the person does with their circumstances. Play the victim or rise above it. Weren’t Barack Obama, Ben Carson, Condoleezza Rice, Colin Powell, or Donna Brazile subjected to racism in their formative years? Weren’t the multitude of black millionaires in the recording industry, business, entertainment, the NBA, and NFL subjected to racism? Were they not restricted in some manner as all children are? While I don’t know each’s life story, I don’t think they all benefited from a charmed or privileged upbringing.
As far as weathering is concerned, I was not able to find the study you mentioned. So, I am unable to comment on it. Most of the references I found citing weathering, referred to it as a hypostasis or theory and not proven fact. “The term weathering was coined by Dr. Arline Geronimus, and it is a metaphor for how stress caused by everyday racism shapes or weathers the body (Martinez, 2020).”
I did perform a review of one study, referenced below, and this study does not show an absolute cause and effect between racism and stress ageing. It looks that significant confirmation bias may be in play. I admit however that I did not do a rigorous analysis of the paper.
“Racial differences in weathering and its associations with psychosocial stress:
The CARDIA study” https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352827318302246
Authors Sarah Forrestera David Jacobsb Rachel Zmorab Pamela Schreinerb Veronique Rogerc Catarina I.Kiefea
Received 28 August 2018, Revised 30 September 2018, Accepted 4 November 2018, Available online 6 November 2018, Version of Record 13 June 2019.