“Dear April: No, Don’t Have Children. Your Letter Proves You Are Too Dumb To Be A Responsible Parent”

That would be my entire response to this recent query from “April” to Kwame Anthony Appiah, the ethics scholar whom the New York Times dubs “The Ethicist”(hold on to your skull; it almost blew mine):

I have always loved babies and children. I babysat throughout high school and college, and do so even now as a full-time engineer. My fiancé was drawn to me because of how much he appreciated my talent with and love for children. We have many little nieces, nephews and cousins whom we love but don’t get to see often. We also have always been clear with each other that we would try to have biological children soon after getting married.

That being said, my fiancé and I, who are both Generation Z, care deeply about the planet and painfully watch as scientists predict that the earth will reach 1.5 degrees Celsius of warming by the 2030s. Is it selfish to have children knowing full well that they will have to deal with a lower quality of life thanks to the climate crisis and its many cascading effects, like increased natural disasters, food shortages, greater societal inequity and unrest?

We realize that a child’s very existence adds to our carbon footprint, but as parents we would do our best to foster an environmentally friendly household and try to teach our children how to navigate life sustainably. My fiancé says that because we are privileged as two working engineers in the United States, we can provide enough financial support to keep our children from feeling the brunt of the damage from climate change. Is it OK to use this privilege?

I haven’t even bothered to read “The Ethicist’s” answer; I’ve lost too much respect for him already because he thought such idiocy deserved to be published. I’d rather not think about the implications of his apparent assumption that many New York Times readers are having similarly dunderheaded concerns.

Sure, I could write a long, reasoned explanation to April about why she’s a climate change hysteric and a woke-addled fool, and I could also have a discussion with Spuds about the nuances of Kierkegaard. I have heard versions of this crazy lament at least since the Cold War, when I knew women who said it was pointless to have children because they would all be crispy fried in World War III anyway.

Morons. Would it do any good to explain to April that by her logic, it was irresponsible to have children anywhere and any time in past centuries when the average life was nasty, brutish and short? Of course not. Hers is also the calculation of abortion fans: Non-existence is preferable to inconvenience. Avoiding pain is everything. Oh, shut up. I feel stupider just talking to such people. And depressed. How many are out there like April? If she’s not an anomaly, it raises the question of whether critical thinking is being taught in our schools at all. And she’s an engineer? The more I think about that letter, the more I wish I hadn’t been born.

I think my answer is all April is capable of processing. If I were going to add anything to it, it would be “Move to Ireland.”

18 thoughts on ““Dear April: No, Don’t Have Children. Your Letter Proves You Are Too Dumb To Be A Responsible Parent”

  1. My first impression is this is a planted wokester-troll comment.
    The fact it was published is niggling propaganda.

  2. Here’s the comment that I submitted (as Dr. Emilio Lizardo, Planet Ten). It is currently “pending approval”

    This letter is virtue signalling on kombucha.

    “we would try to have biological children” – as opposed to what *other* type of child?
    “care deeply about the planet”
    “painfully watch”
    “have to deal with a lower quality of life”
    “climate crisis”
    “cascading effects”
    “increased natural disasters”
    “food shortages”
    “greater social inequity”
    “unrest”
    “a child’s very existence adds to our carbon footprint”
    “do our best”
    “foster an environmentally friendly houshold”
    “navigate life sustainably”
    “we are privileged”
    “Is it OK to use this privilege?”

    Yikes. this looks like it was composed from all of the blocks on a Woke BS Bingo card -someone has done their alma mater proud.

    Then again, it’s so ‘inclusive’ that it might be a parody.

    However, I’m not too optimistic that it will make it past The Anointed who are responsible for ensuring that reader comments are consistent with the NYT narrative.

    • “we would try to have biological children” – as opposed to what *other* type of child?”
      Oooooh…maybe “non-biological” (self-aware AI) children will become the answer! That would raise all sorts of other ethical questions, of course. Could you turn them off (put them on a timer to save energy)? Make them stay the same age or let them “grow up” at a variable rate,? Reset to a previous state? Change their sex? Set their life span or have it ended at your death? ……

      What fun!

  3. “[A]nd I could also have a discussion with Spuds about the nuances of Kierkegaard.” Please.

    “I have heard versions of this crazy lament at least since the Cold War, when I knew women who said it was pointless to have children because they would all be crispy fried in World War III anyway.” That kind of stuff was palpable. I thought the same thing while reading the letter.

  4. Best thing about people like April: they are breeding themselves out of the gene pool, and voluntarily seppuku’ing themselves.

    Worst thing about people like April: there’s way too many of them infecting our education system, masquerading there as “educators”, and as such are contaminating the children of other people with their idiotic beliefs (since they have no kids of their own to whom they may pass these idiotic beliefs)

  5. I don’t doubt that this is genuine – in my time traveling in the theatre circles, I’ve come across dozens of young people with exactly this mindset. Or worse, they don’t even question if it might be ethical, just secure in their knowledge that bringing a child into this world would be tantamount to child abuse.

  6. What ever happened to the days when we had children so we could raise them to be good people who would help make the world a better place?

  7. My questions to April would be “What kind of engineers are you and your husband ? Have you evaluated your own input to the “climate crisis?”

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.