I promise I won’t make a habit of this, as tempting as it is going to be. But the Axis (let me know when I don’t have to explain or link to a description of this handy Ethics Alarms term every time I use it) is in full panic, say anything, “AHHHHHHGGGHHHH!!!” mode when it isn’t spouting insulting boilerplate, and I have nobody here right now to rant with (Grace was very, very good at that). So hear we go:

1. Try to catalogue the dishonesty, misdirection and sophistry in that MSNBC discussion among Jenn Pasaki and her team of shameless hacks regarding illegal immigration. It’s a phony issue! If you are concerned about it, you’re a racist! There’s no difference between illegal immigration and legal immigration (the usual trick when progressives riff on this issue.) It’s so hilarious that anyone would be concerned about it! This is a Hanlon’s Law challenge: is it possible that wokeness has made all of these women that stupid, or are they just Goebbels-level evil?

2. I also will try to stop using “hack” so much to describe shameless hacks like the most Unethical Famous Presidential Historian Ever, lapping the Kennedys’ lackey Arthur M. Schlesinger, Michael Beshloss. I wonder how they treat this shill for any and all Democrats at historian conventions. Today he said (on MSNBC, natch, where being a regular “contributor” is signature significance for a h…sorry, a historian with no shame) that “this is a real historical moment” and warned, “We could be a dictatorship next year if Donald Trump is elected and carries through on his threats and carries through on his threats to suspend the Constitution. That’s what’s at stake.” (Pssst! Mister Historian! Donald Trump never “threatened” to suspend the Constitution.) Hey, can I use “asshole”?

3. Forget about MSNBC—it’s too easy. Let’s look at how CNN turned over its programming to a live Biden commercial. Principal Deputy White House Press Secretary Olivia Dalton was programmed with talking points when pushed back when CNN anchor Kasie Hunt asked about the risk poor, addled Joe might “stumble” during the State of the Union address. First she asked “what to expect” tonight, Olivia’s cue:

Well, I thought the he he said it best when he told Seth Meyers last week that it’s not the age of the person, it’s the age of the ideas.

And look what Republicans decided to focus on tonight. Their rebuttal is going to be delivered by someone who is responsible for creating the turmoil we saw in Alabama. Repealing Roe, overturning Roe, a right that existed for women in this country for 50 years, taking us back 50 years so that our daughters have fewer rights and our mothers did.

That is what’s at stake here. Antiquated ideas versus Joe Biden’s vision for a future where we protect our most fundamental and sacred rights and freedoms in this country, where we protect democracy and our most fundamental ideals as a country.

And we continue to keep our foot on the gas on the economic progress we’ve made for made for real working people. Not the wealthiest, not the special interests, in this country.

Right! It’s not the age of the half-blind, confused driver weaving in traffic, it’s the age of he BMW he’s driving! I never thought of it that way! Thanks, Olivia! And I remember that pro-abortion argument when the ex-slaveholders used it after the 13th Amendment: their poor kids wouldn’t have the right to own human beings like they did for centuries. Now women can’t kill the individual human beings they helped create whenever it pleases them. Life as a fundamental right was enshrined in this nation’s rights and values since 1776, it’s just that a bunch of judges trying to be cool forgot that in 1973. And again with the “the economy is great, but the public is just too stupid to realize it” trope. The National Debt is adding a trillion dollars every 100 days, basic food prices—I may never go to a restaurant again—are dragging down the quality of life, but sure, we should be grateful.

Than Olivia was thrown the “stumble” cue, and we got this:

Well, look, I think, you know, everybody is–. There’s always in these moments, a desire to focus on the distractions du jour.

The president is focused on one thing, and that’s communicating clearly his vision for the country to the American people. He’ll have one of the largest audiences tonight that he will all year.

And I want to just note that we are also doing some new things to make sure that we’re meeting people where they are. This will be the first state of the union that we’re streaming on Instagram to make sure that we’re reaching young people where they are.

It’ll be the first time that on whitehouse.gov, you can go and you can actually interact with tonight’s live stream.

So we’re hoping that tonight will be a night where people are really able to tune in and focus on the president’s message.

There’s a few competent, professional responses to that BS, but naturally, CNN’s Axis rep wouldn’t use any of them:

• “You didn’t answer my question.”
• “Wait, are you saying that the public’s concern about the President’s age and mental acuity is unwarranted after that debacle before the Super Bowl when the Special Counsel said he was too confused to  stand trial?”
• “But isn’t the issue that the President can’t communicate clearly?”
• “I know he’ll have a large audience, which is why I’m asking what will be the response if he starts gurgling and reciting “Nary Had a Little Lamb”…”
• “Who cares that the speech will be on Instagram? Did I ask about that?”
• “Got it: you don’t want to talk about the President’s fitness issues. You want to pretend the issue doesn’t exist. Good luck with that.”

4. Let’s see now: Immigration isn’t a real issue; Biden’s brain is just a “distraction,” and all that matters is that Trump wants to suspend the Constitution. What else? Oh, right: the crime explosion in big, Democrat-run cities like San Francisco, Chicago, New York, Boston and D.C. is another Republican myth. Washington Post writer Maura Judkis wrote a column pooh-poohing the mass shoplifting problem that is causing chains to close stores from coast-to-coast. She attributed criticism of the Democratic Party policies as the “moral panic” of a nation built on “stolen land,” the final gasp of “late-stage capitalism” with conservatives getting all upset about “petty theft.” You know, like this:

It’s just hype and another GOP conspiracy theory. A stunned (and increasingly red-pilled) professor Turley wrote of the column that it appeared to be “late-stage journalism”:

“She questions the real basis for such moves and claims that “in certain conservative circles, there’s a wild narrative about cities as terrifying hellholes of crime, theft and lawlessness. The bleakness of the D.C. CVS played right into this belief.” The real story, she suggests, is the economic conditions leading to shoplifting. Other journalists have made similar objections. New York Times writer (and now Howard University Journalism Professor) Nikole Hannah-Jones, has called upon journalists to stop covering shoplifting crimes, even criticizing MSNBC’s Al Sharpton for his discussion of a viral video of a man who recently stole steaks from a New York City Trader Joe’s. Writers like Hannah-Jones believe that reporters should actively suppress or dismiss stories on such crime to frame public opinion.”

Reporters like Hannah-Jones—you mean like all the h…”late-stage journalists” warming up to spin furiously for Joe tonight?

5. Finally there’s this amazing thing by Rex Huppke that was deemed professionally acceptable enough to print in USA Today (which, to be fair, has been Weekly Readers level for years now, but still). I’m sorry, one of you alerted me to it and I’ve lost the note with all the turmoil around here. I’d love to fisk it, but the post is going long and poor Spuds is late getting his dinner. You have fun with it. I’m not ready to have fun yet…