“One thing that would change all of our spirit and all of our society is if we would just change one thing. Instead of coming up to somebody and saying, ‘How are you today?’ Why don’t you say, ‘Who did you help today?'”
—Former NFL and college coach Nick Saban, now ESPN broadcaster, in his speech after receiving the “Icon” award at the ESPY’s the sports networks annual awards show.
Ugh. Maybe ethics instruction should never be left to amateurs.
No, Coach, that’s a terrible idea. It’s not friendly or uplifting to challenge everyone you meet to prove how kind and virtuous they are to your specifications. I don’t want to live in a society where every encounter is going to require me to validate my existence by proving that I have met some kindness quota.
The appropriate response to that gratuitous and obnoxious challenge is “None of your damn business!” or better still “Bite me.” Similarly, I don’t care to have a stranger, associate or friend begin a conversation with “Have you given to the homeless today?,” “Have you smiled at a stranger?,” Have you hugged your child?,” or “Have you thanked the Lord for His bounty?”
Sure, I know what Nick was trying to say, but if you can’t say what you mean to say more effectively than that, then don’t say anything. His heart may have been in the right place, but his brain and his tongue weren’t.
Ethics Alarms 
His suggestion would rapidly devolve into e-mails from your employer/the government/ etc asking “When was the last time you supported a trans person?”, “Have you supported Planned Parenthood lately?” and “When was the last time YOU supported Palestine?”
The pastor at my parish tried a similar tact during a recent homily, but instead of “Who did you help today?” he suggested several other phrases that I at least find less onerous to hear, if perhaps more so to say. His suggestions included:
“How can I help you today?”
“What can I do to serve your needs today?”
“How can I make things better for you today?”
I personally think those are better options, as the put the onus on the speaker to act for the good of another (and can be chosen) rather than on the recipient who now has to justify themselves with “who did you…”. After all, if the recipient doesn’t want anything, they can simply say that they are just fine and don’t need assistance.
Of course, I’d still rather keep that to people I know, rather than popping that question on a stranger. I think we’d be better off if we actually meant “how are you” instead of using it as a polite phrase that means nothing.
Glad you mentioned a pastor for comparison’s sake, Sarah. In the South, the state’s college football coach is more than a pastor, he’s the Baptist equivalent of the Pope. So long as he’s beating his team’s arch-rival on a regular basis and getting the right recruits to play on his team. And I’d say Lou Saban has basically been God in Alabama for quite a while. He’s the modern-day Paul Bear Bryant. So, these guys, when they speak, are speaking ex cathedra. Their thoughts on anything are revealed truth, from which car dealer to buy your car from to how to greet strangers. They’ve got it covered.
Or, in the case of the University of Kentucky, in the city where I live, the basketball coach IS the Pope.
Ernest will be here all week, folks!
Nice work. What happened to St. John of Calipari? Did the Cardinals vote him out? (Yuck, yuck.)
“So long as he’s beating his team’s arch-rival on a regular basis and getting the right recruits to play on his team.”
It ain’t “where ya from?” it’s “who ya for?”
PWS
I admit that you had me faked out. I thought you were going to criticize him because he doesn’t believe a word of that nonsense. And then you criticized him because he might.
I’m nothing if not full of surprises.
Criticizing someone of Nick Saban’s occupation and persona is a target rich environment.
pirates of Penzance character….does a good deed to balance his horrible actions ethics version of carbon indulgences, mean credits
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More “Ruddigore” than “Pirates,” no?
That’s more a question you should ask yourself at the end of the day.
Tsk Tsk to Sabin. As a Catholic he should know better than that. Matthew 6:1 informs us, “Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.”
I think his ring collection tilted his thinking.
Yikes! You show up like clockwork about every six months or so! Good to have you back!