I saw two men today with this fashion statement, the Rutherford B. Hayes look. Actually, that photo above is the one where his beard looks relatively kempt. On the other hand, Rutherford gets something of a pass because he grew to adulthood in the era where long beards were inexplicably in, especially among Civil War officers, and he was one. Today, however, long scraggly gray or white beards send out multiple messages to me, none of them good. Like:
- “I’ve given up. I’m old, and I don’t care how I look. I’m not even trying any more. Tomorrow, I may not wear pants.”
- “Hey, I’ve never done anything that earned anyone’s deference or respect, but maybe if I look like Heidi’s grandfather, someone will treat me better.”
- “I’m Santa Claus on the skids!”
- ‘I’m retired and you’re not! Ha Ha!”
You get the idea. A neatly trimmed white beard is fine, like Richard Attenborough in “Jurassic Park,” or what Gorge Clooney is wearing these days (though George Clooney can pretty much get away with anything). But when I saw David Letterman’s beard for the first time…
….I thought, “Figures. He’s such an asshole. He was hard enough to listen to, now he’s hard to look at.”
This is all irrational and unfair, I know. I suppose those who affect beards like that are just embracing their place in life, on the way to grim death. Not me, baby. Satchel Paige asked, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?” My answer has always been “About 12.”
I’ll be damned if I want to see Rutherford staring back at me in the morning when I brush what remains of my teeth.
Ethics Alarms 
Ha! You should see my driver’s license picture from 15 years ago, back when I made Letterman look neat and kempt. Fortunately for the world’s sanity I have it trimmed regularly now. Unfortunately, not quite regularly enough…….
OK, so I incline towards slobification. Good thing I am still working or it might get bad……
I can’t see being biased against beards generally. Now, not everyone can rock a beard, and Letterman looks like a drunk who’d get pulled in to play Santa with a promise of cheap brew, but if it’s well-groomed it’s no big deal. Like other hair and nails and so on, it’s got to be maintained. However, too many historic and fantastic “good guy” characters wear beards for me to dislike the concept. After all, where would most of the fantasy heroes be without those bearded mentors like Merlin, Dumbledore, and Gandalf? Where would the Biblical epics be without the bearded prophets like Moses and of course, Christ? And of course there’s the one bearded guy everyone wants to see. (Ho! Ho! Ho!)
I guess ZZ Top is out, ¿no?
jvb
Hah! Everybody’s talkin’ ’bout a sharp dressed man.
I think Letterman is clinically depressed and has been so for pretty much his entire life. I’ve worn a beard since I was a freshman in college except for a few years when I worked in a big law firm. Grew it back once I didn’t make partner and bailed. Keep it very trimmed. I too hate long beards, particularly foot long goatees, particularly if they’re braided. People rebelling in their seventies look ridiculous.
I’d also say that iteration of the Hayes beard is a really good look on a good-looking guy. Almost modern looking. Pretty restrained for that era.
My personal bias is guys wearing beards on faces that don’t look good with beards. Lots of guys look like Islamic fundamentalist terrorists. See, eg., Lebron James.
I don’t want to make you angrier – but my best friend and I (both army guys) have a theory on why beards are back. And it’s related to Islamic fundamentalism.
We think and we noticed the trend especially growing at the same time that American special operations types – seals, delta, SF, etc – were all thoroughly immersed in their missions in the middle east. Part of their mystique was to be a little more “casual” in regards to military regulations combined also with the need to be more relatable to their target populations, they were permitted and sometimes ordered to grow beards.
Enter the American male. We tend to like to emulate the guys in society who are seen as the “heroes”.
So, because American elite soldiers had to look more like their enemy to “blend in” to certain populations, you got the rise of American men putting on the cool look sported by elite soldiers.
Eventually the beard “was back” so to say.
I think there’s a reply in spam.
It’s out!
Thanks!
Hayes was a good looking guy, without the beard. When he was young, he was movie star handsome, but there were no movies, so nobody knew….
It took several searches to find even ONE picture of Hayes without the beard. He looked like a totally different person. Arguably, the beard was what kind of saved Edward VII’s image, because he had a weak chin, but with the beard he looked properly regal in the famous picture of him by Sir Luke Fildes with his scepter in the red coat and ermine cloak. I for one have never sported a beard, even during COVID.
Lincoln, of course. If one really has a weatherbeaten, homely face like Abe, a beard is almost mandatory.Grant looked better with a beard: great eyes, weak chin.
Yes, Grant looked every bit the part. Movie star looks before movie. And the cigar was great as well. One tough son of a bitch.