“And Now, The Rest of the Story!” MLB Bans Those Two Assholes For Life…

Hey, maybe Major League Baseball reads Ethics Alarms!

In this post in October, EA reported that in the bottom of the first inning in Game 4 of the World Series with the Yankees losing 2-0, NY lead-off hitter Gleyber Torres “hit a high pop-up into right field foul territory. Dodgers right fielder Betts caught the ball with his glove, but” Asshole #1 grabbed Betts’ glove with both hands, opened it, reached inside with his right hand and knocked the ball back onto the field, as Asshole #2 assisted him. It was on national television for all to see, so the umpires, thank goodness, got the call right and ruled fan interference. Torres was called out. I ruled it the most egregious example ever of fans deliberately trying to interfere with a player’s efforts during a baseball game, and called for Austin Capobianco (Asshole #1) and John P. Hansen (Asshole #2) to be banned from attending baseball games for life.

It took three months for some absurd reason, but Major League Baseball finally has banned them from attending games at big league ballparks, probably forever. Good.

The league sent a letter to A1 and A2 this week informing them of the decision.

“On Oct. 29, 2024, during Game 4 of the World Series at Yankee Stadium, you interfered with play by intentionally and forcefully grabbing a player. Your conduct posed a serious risk to the health and safety of the player and went far over the line of acceptable fan behavior,” said the letter, released today. “Based on your conduct, Major League Baseball is banning you indefinitely from all MLB stadiums, offices, and other facilities,” the letter continues. “You are also hereby banned indefinitely from attending any events sponsored by or associated with MLB. Please be advised that if you are discovered at any MLB property or event, you will be removed from the premises and subject to arrest for trespass.”

There is justice in the universe. I would have preferred to see the letter end with a promise that if either miscreant is discovered at any MLB property or event or even so much as wearing baseball cap, he will be summarily wrapped in unwashed jock straps and have his eyelids stapled open while he is forced to watch the execrable film, “The Babe Ruth Story” starring William Bendix (which Ted Williams called “the worst movie I ever saw,” though he never saw “The Exorcist II”) on an endless loop until he can’t stop screaming and begs to have his eyes gouged out. But that’s just me.

I can live with this resolution.


5 thoughts on ““And Now, The Rest of the Story!” MLB Bans Those Two Assholes For Life…

  1. I saw the full series of photos in the news. Unbelievable! They could have injured him severely. They were twisting his arm and forcing the glove open. How did they feel justified doing this!?

    I’ve noticed this crazy behavior starting a few years ago, fan scuffles amongst themselves for a ball, but this is so much worse, an escalation. Does ball park security get involved in the fan scuffles at all, or is it a free-for-all? I saw a video online of a woman wresting a ball away from a little girl once, and then prancing around with her prize. She was named and shamed, but ai don’t think fans should have to do the policing.

  2. I really struggled with the indefinite ban…initially. But there was no way I could disagree with what you wrote. It’s one thing to go after a ball in the air that’s in foul territory…fans are free to do that. But the two men went way beyond that. They didn’t just interfere with Mookie Betts; they put him at much greater risk of a serious wrist injury.

    For that reason, an ambiguous “indefinite ban” lets everyone know baseball management is serious about protecting its players and willing to severely punish offenders. At the same time, it gives MLB the opportunity to revisit – and maybe rescind – the “indefinite” part in the future.

    I can live with the decision.

  3. Is there any practical way to really enforce this ban, or are they just hoping it might serve as a deterrent against others doing the same thing? Did they try to get any criminal charges brought against the two?

    • Flock cameras in the parking lots that will let security know if a license plate connected with someone who has been trespassed has entered the lot. Facial recognition cameras inside some parks are being promoted as a way to let ticket-holding fans pre-register so they only have to look at a camera when they walk in. The cameras also see the non-registered people, surely they could be set to notify security if they see someone who has been trespassed. Security would also be watching to see who tries to avoid letting the camera see their face.

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