A new study concludes that parents probably do have a favorites among their children.
Parents always deny this, of course. Such a preference would make any parent feel guilty, so they are in permanent denial. The favorite child reaps the benefits of his or her status, and the lesser regarded children are told that they are petty, jealous, and paranoid. Frequently, in my experience, the “Mom likes you best!” accusation works wonders, and the guilt-ridden parent will then bend over backwards to avoid any appearance of favoritism, even to the point of favoring the other child or children.
The study in question, however, seems pretty worthless. Lisa Strohschein, a sociology professor at the University of Alberta and the editor-in-chief of the journal Canadian Studies in Population, thinks that all the study does is confirm what most people already believe. The researchers acknowledged limitations in the study, and write that “the reasons why parents treat their children differently are likely more complex and extend beyond the factors explored.” Oh.
Other studies have claimed that the oldest, the youngest, girls, boys, and the children’s varying personality traits can cause a bias toward one child over another. Especially attractive children are favored, except when it is the “special child” who gains favor by playing up their underdog status for all it’s worthy. Does it seem to you that Joe Biden, who pretty clearly regarded son Beau as the apple of his eye, has been striving to make up for that preference by indulging black sheep Hunter? Mythology and literature are teeming with favorite child dramas. Did we really need this study, especially if all it was going to do is confirm the obvious?
My younger sister was convinced when we were growing up—there is less than two years between us—-that my parents, especially my mother, liked me best. One of the factors mentioned in the study is that difficult children to raise end up biasing their parents in favor of the easier siblings. My grandmother used to talk about how she could put me on my back as an infant to change a diaper and I wouldn’t budge an inch, while my sister would wiggle violently and try to crawl off the table. She used to get her head stuck between the slats in the crib and playpen too.
On the night my father died in 2009, on my birthday, my sister said to me between sobs, “He was the one who liked me best.” In truth, my father went to extreme lengths to never show any favoritism at all.
People have preferences and biases. I wonder how much time and money was spent on that study?
Ethics Alarms 
As Dennis Prager says – “studies either confirm common sense or the study is probably worthless”.
I for one do absolutely everything to avoid favoritism. Call it denial all you want.
that quote from Prager popped into my head, as well.
-Jut
this is a problem as old as the Prodigal Son, Esau and Jacob, or Cain and Abel.
The Black Sheep is often considered the favorite because the Black Sheep gets the most attention and the most assistance. At the same time, the Golden Child could be considered the favorite. Both phenomena could be considered to grow out of the same thing: vanity. Parents favor the Golden Child because the child is evidence of the parents’ success, while the Black Sheep represents their failure.
add to that the problem that relationships with different people are not uniform. My relationship with my daughter is different from my relationship with my son. I would not say I favor either, but my relationships with them are not identical. While I may have a better relationship with one as opposed to the other, that may not reflect favoritism.
-Jut
I would guess that the narcasism that exists in all of us leads us all to think that we aren’t getting the attention that a sibling is!