Today this unwelcome turd turned up on my mailbox from a “Kerry Brad”…

Good morning!
What if I told you the typical Ashley Madison member isn’t a reckless playboy but a brown-haired engineer, a highly successful Virgo, and – more often than not – the eldest child in their family? New data from Ashley Madison, the discreet dating platform with more than 80+ million members worldwide, reveals a surprising reality about who’s engaging in non-monogamy – and it’s not who you might expect.

The numbers tell a fascinating story:

• More than one-third (33%) of respondents say they’re happy in their marriages/relationships.
• 70% of members stick to just one affair at a time, debunking the myth of serial cheaters, while only 2.7% have had four or more affairs simultaneously.
• Women seek affairs earlier than men – 13% of women have been in their relationship for less than a year before looking elsewhere, compared to just 3% of men.
• While men in engineering and trades make up a significant portion of members, women in sales, IT, and law enforcement also turn to affairs.
• Virgos, Geminis, and Scorpios are among the most likely to stray.

This data challenges everything we think we know about who joins Ashley Madison and why. I’d love to connect you with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, who can dive deeper into the typical profile of an Ashley Madison member, what this reveals about modern relationships, and more. Let me know if this data would be a fit for an upcoming story. I look forward to hearing from you, either way!

The letter cam complete with a copy of the company’s member survey. Not familiar with Ashley Madison, you lucky stiff? Its website homepage used to welcome viewers (maybe it still does; I am not moved to check) thusly:

“Ashley Madison is the most famous name in infidelity and married dating. Have an Affair today on Ashley Madison. Thousands of cheating wives and cheating husbands signup everyday looking for an affair…. With Our affair guarantee package we guarantee you will find the perfect affair partner.”

I named this scummy site an Unethical Website of the Month on the old Ethics Scoreboard in 2005, writing in part, “Adultery leads to shattered families, ruined finances, psychically damaged children and deep emotional scars all around. Most if not all spouses will eventually find themselves in a vulnerable state where unhappiness, anxiety, and stress have them primed to make an impulsive and ultimately destructive decision to pursue an illicit relationship. These are the times when people need good advice, counseling, and perspective. These are the times when AshleyMadison.com instead offers the tools they need to tear apart their commitments, vows and lives: secrecy, betrayal, selfishness, and irresponsibility…Yes: it is all legal. But inducing people to hurt others while subjecting themselves to the risks of remorse, financial ruin, and even violence is far worse than many crimes…”

I did one post about the disgusting service back in 2015, and it hasn’t crossed my mind since…until for some reason a genius in the promotion department thought an ethics blog would be promising potential marketing vehicle. Morons. Well, they wanted an Ethics Alarms post, and I’m happy to oblige.

That letter is signature significance for idiocy. The emphasis on astrology is bizarre and should turn off anyone with an IQ above freezing whose favorite Broadway musical isn’t “Hair.” More than one-third of respondents say they’re happy in their marriages/relationships? More than a third of respondents are lying. The service facilitates secret adulterous affairs. Someone who seeks an adulterous affair behind his or her spouse’s back does not have a happy relationship by definition, or defines “happy” as “the dim bulb I’m married to wouldn’t notice if I smuggled under-age twins into the guest bedroom!”

Almost 3% have four secret adulterous affairs at a time? Cowabunga! That sounds like one of those dumb British sex farces, like “Close Your Eyes and think of England!” I had a longtime room mate who once cheated on his fiancée with two different women. They knew each other as well as his betrothed and the resulting intrigue nearly killed him. My friend admitted that he had serious commitment issues and sought psychiatric help: that stat would have made him feel less like a freak. Also, would someone tell the guy who wrote the email what “serial” means? Having just one adulterous affair at a time doesn’t mean you’re not a serial cheater. As for those other demographic nuggets, I don’t care.

What sparked what I thought would be my final word about this ethics corrupter website and service in 2015 was an AP report that revealed,

“Hundreds of U.S. government employees – including some with sensitive jobs in the White House, Congress and law enforcement agencies – used Internet connections in their federal offices to access and pay membership fees to the cheating website Ashley Madison, The Associated Press has learned.

The AP traced many of the accounts exposed by hackers back to federal workers. They included at least two assistant U.S. attorneys; an information technology administrator in the Executive Office of the President; a division chief, an investigator and a trial attorney in the Justice Department; a government hacker at the Homeland Security Department and another DHS employee who indicated he worked on a U.S. counterterrorism response team.”

Hey! There’s something juicy for DOGE to look into, then the Democrats can protest the firing of workers for their healthy sexuality!

I wrote at the time,

“Are these cheaters trustworthy, or fit to serve in the government? No.  I can understand, sympathize and to some extent accept, the spontaneous, unintended passionate adulterous affair that is neither planned nor sought. It is not, at least, premeditated, and that is a mitigating factor. This conduct, using AshleyMadison.com, isn’t motivated by love, but by a desire to betray. I don’t want government officials who are in the habit of betraying others. If they will betray their families, why would they hesitate to betray me?”

There you go, Kerry Brad, whoever you are. There’s your Ashley Madison story from a professional ethicist. May you choke on it.