Gavin Rivers Weisenburg, 21, of Allen, and Tanner Christopher Thomas, 20, of Argyle, Texas were indicted this month by a federal grand jury in the Eastern District of Texas. It charged them with conspiracy to murder, maim, or kidnap in a foreign country, a charge you don’t see every day. Weisenberg and Thomas had been plotting for over a year to recruit and army and lead an invasion of the Island of Gonave, which lies off the coast of Haiti. It has about 870,000 residents.
The plan: Weisenburg and Thomas would purchase a sailboat, firearms and ammunition, then recruit homeless people from the District of Columbia to make up their mercenary army. They would all sail to the island, stage a surprise invasion, and complete a coup d’etat. After taking over the government, their army would murder all of the men on the island, leaving the women and children to be the duo’s sex slaves.
Wait, what?
The indictment states that Weisenburg and Thomas took “overt acts” to accomplish their dastardly plot.They learned the Haitian Creole language. They had begun recruiting. They had visited the island, which is how they determined that taking it over would be easy. Then they enrolled in various classes to acquire the necessary skills for the take-over. Thomas, for example, enlisted in the U.S. Air Force to acquire military skills, and got himself transferred to Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland so he could sign up the homeless in D.C.
One must concede that the two men were creative, ambitious, able to think out of the box, and were not afraid to dream big and aspire to greatness. This is truly the American spirit! Unfortunately, they are also unethical, irresponsible sociopaths.
This may make a great movie, though.
The federal conspiracy to commit murder in a foreign country carries a sentence of life in federal prison. Their defense lawyer is going to argue that none of the things the two men actually did do in furtherance of the murderous plan was illegal.
Oh…they have also been charged with child pornography.
Ethics Alarms 
Reminds me of the infamous William Walker plot back in 1850. There are always some wackos who try to raise little armies and invade other countries.
Great reference! And we lead the world in wackos!
Fidel Castro, Raul Castro and Che Guevara, among others, arriving in Cuba from Mexico in the yacht Granma comes to mind.
Of all the choices of US military branches, only the Space Force would be a worse choice than the Air Force for someone wanting to learn how to do ground combat.
Was this a Soros-funded operation?
Very entertaining! (would have been less so, of course, if not arrested before they had a chance to execute…)
“After taking over the government, their army would murder all of the men on the island, leaving the women and children to be the duo’s sex slaves.”
Quiz: what is the best fit here?
A. Incel fantasy, buddy version
B. Historical reenactment script, conquest version
C. Epstein Island, DYI on a budget version
I choose B.
The thing is, if you want to take and hold an island with the population of a city, you don’t need to know how to shoot or fight hand-to-hand. You need to know how to run a division-level operation. That’s not something typically in the curriculum for junior enlisted. It’s not something I ever learned myself, but I’m guessing we’re probably talking about the kind of thing that costs in the high six figure to low seven figures per day.
And needless to say, more than one sailboat.
Yes. Hilarious. I wonder what the Grenada operation cost. Adjusted for inflation, that would be a good comparable.
So, if they can’t get a conviction on the real life cosplay incel b-movie plot, they can get a conviction for naughty material.
Not just child pornography, but its production. That’s the main thing that I think will convince people this wasn’t just two weirdos LARPing.
That last line seemed to come out of nowhere, until I remembered these perverts goal was to subject an entire island to sex slavery.
Then, it didn’t seem so out of character….
Is it telling of either my age or geekiness that I knew what movie you would use for your header pic before I even followed the email link for this post?
Really? I’m impressed: that’s one of the least used of the Hollywood clips in the EA archive, but still a favorite. The remarkable terrible actor delivering those lines is the immortal Dudley Manlove.
Yeah, I think it’s safe to say that they’re going to need a bigger boat.
One teeny practical problem I see. What the heck do you do with all the bodies? One might want to check with the Nazis, ’cause a boatload of homeless folks is probably not going to suffice.