Just when Tim Walz and Minneapolis’s insurrectionist mayor Jacob Frey seemed to have an insuperable lead in the 2026 “Political Assholes of Year” race, around the turn come perennial contenders Bill and Hillary Clinton!

The world’s strangest married couple refused this week to testify in the House’s Jeffrey Epstein investigation, and its Republican leader, Representative James R. Comer of Kentucky, quickly said he would take steps to hold them in contempt of Congress. That’s good: they are in contempt of Congress, but the letter is outrageous for other reasons. Being completely shameless, as we all know they are, they refused their civic duty to come testify when their government calls by loading up their missive with Trump Derangement-nip, turning it with every Axis of Unethical Conduct Big Lie and talking point they could think of (yes, the missed a few) while styling themselves as heroic for desperately trying to stop Bill’s metaphorical Jeffrey Epstein chickens from coming home to roost. Naturally the New York Times is trying to cover for Bill, writing,

“Mr. Comer’s relentless efforts to force them to testify reflect his overall approach to his panel’s Epstein inquiry. He has sought to deflect focus from President Trump’s ties to the convicted sex offender and his administration’s decision to close its investigation into the matter without releasing key information. Instead, he has worked to shift the spotlight onto prominent Democrats who once associated with Mr. Epstein and his longtime companion Ghislaine Maxwell.”

Uh, no. Comer wants the Clintons to testify because those Epstein documents the Democrats have been braying about to try to embarrass Trump revealed nothing incriminating about the President but raised a lot of suspicions about Bill. But the Clintons are special, you see, and because they have consistently dodged accountability for wrongdoing and even criminal activity, they assume they always will. A disgusted Jonathan Turley posits that they will probably skate again despite being in open contempt of Congress, writing in part,

In reality, I expect that neither Clinton is losing any sleep over the prospect of a criminal charge. They have spent their career dodging such prosecutions. Of course, this is a Republican-controlled House and Republican Administration. What is most striking is the lack of any effort to come up with a cognizable defense. The Clintons simply chose open defiance. For those who have denounced a two-tier justice system, there is nothing more entitled and privileged than this letter. Such rules do not apply to the Clintons, who feel that they have the license to decide when they will appear.

They are wrong and…left themselves no viable legal defense. They are simply asserting a type of de facto Clinton immunity that could leave even a sympathetic federal district court judge with no real alternative to trial…For the moment, I am baffled by the legal strategy. Indeed, I see no intelligible legal strategy at all in effectively saying that “we simply do not feel like it.”They seem to be repeating the same pitch that Bill Clinton gave in the Lewinsky matter: “I ask you to turn away from the spectacle of the past seven months, to repair the fabric of our national discourse, and to return our attention to all the challenges and all the promise of the next American century.”

Despite a federal judge finding that Clinton lied under oath, it worked. The problem is that a defendant like Clinton can always argue in a perjury case that “it depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.” In this case, it does not depend on what the meaning of the word “testify” is. Whatever the meaning, showing up is a critical element. It is hard to argue that you are not in contempt when you make your contempt for the Committee your defense.

I mean, just read this thing! A more arrogant, entitled, cynical and transparent example of deflection and defiance would be difficult to compose. All it lacks is a “Nyah Nyah Nyah!” at the end. It is res ipsa loquitur for a power couple who believe they have earned the right to be above the law.