1. Mostly, what’s going on here is cognitive dissonance scale games. If the Axis can link President Trump to Byron Noem’s odd predictions through his ex-Cabinet member, it can inflict damage to the President’s popularity and public perception of trustworthiness. Poor Byron is now a Weapon of Trump Destruction, and Kant’s edict, “So act as to treat humanity, whether in your own person or in another, always as an end and never as only a means” is collateral damage.
2. I do not believe for a second that this is news to Kristi Noem. Do you?
3. If the scandal really did blindside Kristi, her husband is an Ethics Villain. His wife is in the public eye, and whether it is fair or not, it is a fact that public figures are evaluated by their choices of associates, friends and loved ones. That tendency is prone to excess (See: the Jeffrey Epstein “guilt by association” frenzy) but has some justification because such associations may provide clues regarding character in the areas of common sense, judgment, values and prudence.
4. If, however, Kristi was aware of Byron’s mega-kink and did not inform the President that it was a lurking problem, she betrayed his trust.
5. It doesn’t matter if Byron’s habits literally had nothing to do with Noem’s job performance. Public officials must, to the extent possible, engender the public trust. Divergent conduct by public officials or their close family members undermine that trust. It doesn’t matter if this is fair or logical. It is true.
6. It has been suggested that Byron’s boobs might have made Kristi vulnerable to blackmail. Theoretically, yes, I suppose. I doubt that a woman who would shoot her puppy would hesitate to let her husband’ eccentricities be exposed,
7. This will put the final metaphorical nail in Kristi Noem’s political career’s coffin. That is unfair, perhaps, but the other nails should have been plenty already. Between her puppy-killing, her expensive self-promotion as DHS chief, her reckless statements regarding the I.C.E. shootings, and having a publicized affair while in office (though the news about her husband does clarify the reasons behind this, perhaps) and now that photograph above, she has approximately the same career prospects as Anthony Weiner.
Ethics Alarms 
I would assume Weiner will eventually be rehabilitated by the Left. Unless, of course, they never forgive him for helping tank Hillary Clinton’s candidacy.
I am leaning to the side of Kristi not knowing; however, you are correct that there really is no way to know one way or another. Plenty of women, especially busy women, simply trust their husbands. I would hope Byron would have thought better of his internet activities, but the Noems don’t seem to be the most savvy of pols.
Who’s up for putting together an Ethics Program for family members of elected officials?
Me! Me!
Rule #1: Stay off the internet!
My gut feeling is that spouses and children need to be treated differently. E.g. Trump could have regarded Kellyanne Conway as a liability and fired her because of the TDS of her husband George. However I expect that there are many children who a are dead set against the political ideas and morals of their parents. You do not have additional ethical obligations due to the political career of a parent, sibling, or child. You may even decide to run against him/her.
In the case of a spouse or family member being a well-known opponent of the President, such as Conway or Trump’s own niece Mary, it’s a little bit different. The opposition is not a secret. It is weaponized against him but it’s not the same thing as the spouse of a Trump advisor doing something embarrassing, yet unrelated, to the administration. Noem and his predilections will be tied to Trump because of Kristi’s former position in the Cabinet. It isn’t fair, but it will reflect poorly on Trump’s judgement.
Of course, Trump did appoint Kristi Noem in the first place…
As someone who travels some of these circles…. I’d bet that this is more common that you think, although the specific form of this isn’t as familiar to me, bimboification is in the same family as pup play or ABDL.
Not exactly my scene, but I’ve been told that regardless of whether the people we’re talking about, usually very high-powered straight men, like dressing up as dumb ladies with stonking huge tits, or dogs, or infants, the point of the exercise is a loss of responsibility. These guys usually have very high paying, high stress jobs, and the experience of being able to put all that stress on a shelf and just be a dumb bitch for an hour or two is apparently therapeutic. I would be willing to offer odds on the average person knowing someone that partakes in an exercise like this, even if they don’t know it’s happening.
I’d give even money either way on whether she knew… He’d have had to tell her, he wouldn’t have had to, and I have no idea what their relationship is like. There are places you can go to do things like this, the best part about having very high paying, high stress jobs is that you can afford the people and place to do your thing discreetly and safely.
Which brings me to the ethics point that I think will be missed:
Whoever took those pictures and blew that story is a raging, gaping, cavernous asshole. The ladies who talked to the press should all be fired. Outing someone is incredibly taboo in the kink scene, everyone has something to lose…. I can’t imagine that they would have gone public had Byron not been married to Kristi. This guy isn’t being outted for being kinky, there are tens of thousands of freaks in America, this guy is being outted for being Republican.
Yes. How did all this come to light? Very nasty.
No doubt the lightspeed travel at which this news was reported is connected to him being a Republican and the spouse of someone who worked for Trump. Nevertheless, spouses of politicians need to find more…I dunno…respectable…ways to blow off steam.
No, it isn’t fair. If you are in the public eye, you are going to be criticized more than the Average Joe. Anyone who works for Trump should already know that minding their Ps and Qs is essential. Any step outside the box is going to be discovered and reported faster than the coyote can be squashed by an ACME anvil. They need to make sure their family members are on board with being extra careful about their online activity and their recreational pursuits. There are people out to get them.
Most guys I knew blew off steam by playing golf or swimming or running or just having a beer after work.
One of the reasons why this came out is that Bryon Noem refused to be careful about keeping his identity hidden:
“Bryon, who made his fortune in the insurance industry, allegedly sent women he met in the online fetish community some $25,000 via Cash app and PayPal as he admired their over-the-top bust sizes and “amazing” curves,” the DM reported.
He traded selfies with one woman he pledged to worship like a “goddess,” telling her, “you turn me into a girl,” before asking if he should “put on leggings.”
One of the models claimed she once butt-dialed “Jason” and heard a voicemail greeting saying “Noem Insurance, leave a message.”
When she Googled Noem Insurance, she found pictures of Bryon and his DHS secretary wife, according to the Daily Mail.
When she confronted him about it, he reportedly told her that “he didn’t care” “
https://nypost.com/2026/03/31/us-news/kristi-noem-weighs-in-on-report-husband-bryon-lives-cross-dressing-double-life/
So my impression is that Bryon stop caring about the marriage and the political fortunes of his wife.
Whoever took those pictures and blew that story is a raging, gaping, cavernous asshole.
While I understand your point (that even perverts and deviants should “act ethically” toward one another, and “secret agreements” should be respected), viewed from a different angle, perverted people with perverted inclinations should be dragged out of their dungeons-of-strange-pleasures (think Pulp Fiction) and brought into the light so all can see.
I do not know a great deal about sexual perversions, but my understanding is that there is always a “psychological” factor operating, and often one unknown (unconscious, not made conscious) to the perv.
More and more the “sick soul” of America comes out into the open. It does not bode well. Sexual deviancy, lust for sadism, reveling in violence (think Hegseth) are examples. Perverted passions take over the personality, and when a whole nation begins to fall into pervertedness, watch out.
That you know little about sex is probably the least surprising thing I’ve learned this year.
But to the point as a whole… These aren’t secret agreements, they’re very much spoken and out there to the interested parties. And just because people don’t adhere to whatever form of values you do doesn’t mean they don’t have values, the fact that you barely know the subculture exists is a testament to how well the system generally functions. As for relative morals… I think it’s disgusting to own more cats than I have digits, but I respect your ability to revel in felines.
I have been thinking about our last (“”) conversation. I know that you don’t get it but I start from the Principle (the define truth, usually metaphysical) and then work back to the application of the principle. That is the method of conservative thought, says Richard Weaver.
Sexual ethics (pretty obviously) presupposes principles, but those of today are 1) lax or 2) disobeyed for pleasure purposes, or 3) denied.
Remember: I mean none of this personally. It is a (pretty rare) blog dealing on Ethics (essentially a grounding of metaphysical principles) so the larger ideas are what is important.
And just because people don’t adhere to whatever form of values you do doesn’t mean they don’t have values, the fact that you barely know the subculture exists is a testament to how well the system generally functions.
God help us all … 😵💫
For the record, Humble, you are spot-on in this thread. Whoever exposed Noem’s husband is a villain and a skunk.
Whoever took those pictures and blew that story is a raging, gaping, cavernous asshole. The ladies who talked to the press should all be fired. Outing someone is incredibly taboo in the kink scene, everyone has something to lose…. I can’t imagine that they would have gone public had Byron not been married to Kristi. This guy isn’t being outted for being kinky, there are tens of thousands of freaks in America, this guy is being outted for being Republican.
I agree that there is likely a motive to embarrass or to do political harm. But there is also a larger context: that of general morality. My starting point is precisely in this area: whether it occurs among the lower echelons of society, or among the upper echelons, sickness and perversions are rising to the surface. Once they appear, and once they are seen more and become common, they are normalized. This seems a unique feature of a late phase in the corruption of society: Liberal Rot.
Every day and across areas that seem unrelated, a deep sickness and unhappiness manifests more and more. There is of course condemnation from the religious quarters (Evangelical, Catholic for example) yet these do not have enough moral power to influence people. My view is that there needs to be greater understanding if the metaphysical implications of allowing and indulging in such bizarre behaviors.
When the first examples of deviance and perversions were normalized (like at Stonewall if my sources are correct) because of “sympathy” with those who suffered harassment by police, then the behaviors are tolerated — apparently a Liberal virtue — but they simply grow and evolve. It is so easy to see and so easy to understand that this happens. Then, decades later, your children are captured by modes of sickness, and they become “rebels against normalcy” and (like you) must defend behaviors out of a strange sort of defense of justice.
The man in the photo — based on his convoluted look — obviously needs therapy. But who will or who can administer it? It would require a guide who is “healed” or balanced and “normal” — but all these definitions are contested.
But wait! Aren’t we supposed to be kind? Couldn’t this be a teaching moment? This guy is either transgender or questioning. That’s two letters: T and Q! Shouldn’t he be doing presentations in elementary schools? He’s not cisgendered, so he’s got that going for him. What are his pronouns. Isn’t it wonderful a Republican is married to such a paragon of so many great things? If Noem were a Democrat, she’d be scoring more points that Pete Buttigieg.
…and that makes five or six keyboards the contributors to this site now owe me. OB, this is at least three from you alone!
And there’s Ann Althouse commenting on a NYT article (making the Times morally superior to the Daily Mail): “As the yard signs in my neighborhood say: Kindness is everything.” Hah!
Ah, but Joel, it’s the serious commenters like you, and Ryan, and AM, and HT, and so many others too numerous to mention, that do all the heavy lifting.
I am not going to milk the hypocrisy on the side of the Democrats angle here, except to says that a members of a party that celebrates people like Admiral Rachel Levine as Assistant Secretary of Health, and Sam Brinton as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition and transgenderism in general should be ethically estopped from ridiculing Bryon Noem for his particular sexual interests. You cannot explain to me that transgenderism is normal and acceptable, and Bryon Noem’s sexual interests are not.
In the 1950s there was a Lavender Scare, in which LGBTQ+ people were disqualified from working for the U.S Federal Government. President Dwight Eisenhower signed EO 10450, which defined “sexual perversion” as a security risk (blackmail), leading to the firing of over 10,000 employees. Intense investigations involving lie detector tests and interviews with families and neighbors were launched to identify gay and lesbian employees; those who were not cleared in these investigations were forced to resign. EO 10450 was rescinded under President Obama.
Sexual morals have liberalized since the 1950s. The election of Ronald Reagan as POTUS ended divorce as a disqualifier for high office in elections. The Bill Clinton impeachment fiasco settled issues as well: consensual sinful sexual conduct is not a disqualifier for the Presidency. That settled the matter for conservatives too: popular politicians do not have to resign for extramarital affairs and other sins. Trump as POTUS is supported by conservative Christians despite his colorful marital and sexual past. Elon Musk has 14 children with multiple women, which did not disqualifying from DOGE. Scott Bessent as Secretary of Treasury is openly gay. Many do not see transgenderism as a kink or perversion anymore, disqualifying a person from office (Rachel Levine). So why is Bryon Noem’s interest in cross dressing a matter of ethical concern? Shouldn’t we simply see this issue as a personal matter, only of interest to the Noem family?
One of the main reason the issue is raised is that the Noem family professes to be evangelical Christians. The double life of both Bryon and Kristi Noem violates Biblical morals. Kristi had a longstanding extramarital affair with Corey Lewandowski, which I think was an ethics issue due to the work relationship of Kristi and Corey. Many were surprised that husband Bryon, who was fully aware of the affair, did not file for divorce. Did he not have any self respect? Was he tied to Kristi with golden handcuffs? Did he perhaps have a cuckold fetish? Now we know what was happening. Bryon quietly quit the marriage a long time ago, indulging in his own sexual interests. And Kristi knew about it, and did not care. This is not the picture of a Christian marriage. But not living up to Biblical norms does not make it an ethics issue in a society that has said farewell to Christian sexual ethics.
But not living up to Biblical norms does not make it an ethics issue in a society that has said farewell to Christian sexual ethics.
Except when there are political points to be gained and you’re a Democrat party operative or any other member of the AUC, emphasis on the U component.
“Sam Brinton as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition and transgenderism in general should be ethically estopped from ridiculing Bryon Noem for his particular sexual interests.”
This was exactly the point I was going to make but knew someone else would, Brinton wore his fake tits to the office, and the only reason the democrats defenestrated him was because he has a documented habit of stealing women’s luggage in airports.
Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition …
WTF!!? Is this one of your underground “kink clubs”?!?
Please, I do not want to know … ☹️
I love the smell of a Comment of the Day in the morning! This will go up later today, but you pinged my Bill Clinton Ethics Alarms. The deception and hypocrisy is the issue, as well as betrayal and cheating, when that’s in the mix.
The gay Christian conservatives who inveighed against sin and for family values while secretly hanging out at gay bars. Were scum. So were anti-abortion conservatives who “supported” daughters who got themselves knocked up and wanted abortions. Clinton actually had female Democratic officials lined up accepting pens as he signed an anti-sexual harassment bill, then violated exactly the principle embodied in that bill regarding predator bosses. Then Gloria Steinem, after her boy Bill had exploited stupid Monica, came out and gave Bill “The King’s Pass.” THEN Democrats had the gall to make Bill, a predator, the key speaker at their “Year of the Woman” convention.
Such people are untrustworthy as well as being cons and phonies. They deserve no pass no matter what the social norms have become. I don’t care if Mayor Pete is gay (I care that he’s incompetent). I do care if (as I suspect) that Barack and Hillary are gay and fake being otherwise for political expediency.