Bryon Noem, the husband of recently fired DHS Secretary Kristi Noem, was revealed to be fond of dressing up in women’s clothing, often with massive fake breasts, while paying to interact with others portraying “bimbos,” the Daily Mail reported in a “scoop” that appears to be well-sourced.
His wife issued a statement to the New York Post saying she was “devastated” and her family was “blindsided.” President Trump only commented that he felt badly for the family and that his former DHS head’s husband’s odd hobby was “news to him.”
Predictably, the revelation, which 56-year-old Byron Noem has not denied, thrilled progressives, who pointed to his wife’s alleged hypocrisy in opposing LGBTQ rights, and horrified conservatives, who are as kinky as anyone else but don’t like admitting it.
What’s going on here?
Ethics Alarms 
I would assume Weiner will eventually be rehabilitated by the Left. Unless, of course, they never forgive him for helping tank Hillary Clinton’s candidacy.
I am leaning to the side of Kristi not knowing; however, you are correct that there really is no way to know one way or another. Plenty of women, especially busy women, simply trust their husbands. I would hope Byron would have thought better of his internet activities, but the Noems don’t seem to be the most savvy of pols.
Who’s up for putting together an Ethics Program for family members of elected officials?
Me! Me!
Rule #1: Stay off the internet!
My gut feeling is that spouses and children need to be treated differently. E.g. Trump could have regarded Kellyanne Conway as a liability and fired her because of the TDS of her husband George. However I expect that there are many children who a are dead set against the political ideas and morals of their parents. You do not have additional ethical obligations due to the political career of a parent, sibling, or child. You may even decide to run against him/her.
In the case of a spouse or family member being a well-known opponent of the President, such as Conway or Trump’s own niece Mary, it’s a little bit different. The opposition is not a secret. It is weaponized against him but it’s not the same thing as the spouse of a Trump advisor doing something embarrassing, yet unrelated, to the administration. Noem and his predilections will be tied to Trump because of Kristi’s former position in the Cabinet. It isn’t fair, but it will reflect poorly on Trump’s judgement.
Of course, Trump did appoint Kristi Noem in the first place…
As someone who travels some of these circles…. I’d bet that this is more common that you think, although the specific form of this isn’t as familiar to me, bimboification is in the same family as pup play or ABDL.
Not exactly my scene, but I’ve been told that regardless of whether the people we’re talking about, usually very high-powered straight men, like dressing up as dumb ladies with stonking huge tits, or dogs, or infants, the point of the exercise is a loss of responsibility. These guys usually have very high paying, high stress jobs, and the experience of being able to put all that stress on a shelf and just be a dumb bitch for an hour or two is apparently therapeutic. I would be willing to offer odds on the average person knowing someone that partakes in an exercise like this, even if they don’t know it’s happening.
I’d give even money either way on whether she knew… He’d have had to tell her, he wouldn’t have had to, and I have no idea what their relationship is like. There are places you can go to do things like this, the best part about having very high paying, high stress jobs is that you can afford the people and place to do your thing discreetly and safely.
Which brings me to the ethics point that I think will be missed:
Whoever took those pictures and blew that story is a raging, gaping, cavernous asshole. The ladies who talked to the press should all be fired. Outing someone is incredibly taboo in the kink scene, everyone has something to lose…. I can’t imagine that they would have gone public had Byron not been married to Kristi. This guy isn’t being outted for being kinky, there are tens of thousands of freaks in America, this guy is being outted for being Republican.
Yes. How did all this come to light? Very nasty.
No doubt the lightspeed travel at which this news was reported is connected to him being a Republican and the spouse of someone who worked for Trump. Nevertheless, spouses of politicians need to find more…I dunno…respectable…ways to blow off steam.
No, it isn’t fair. If you are in the public eye, you are going to be criticized more than the Average Joe. Anyone who works for Trump should already know that minding their Ps and Qs is essential. Any step outside the box is going to be discovered and reported faster than the coyote can be squashed by an ACME anvil. They need to make sure their family members are on board with being extra careful about their online activity and their recreational pursuits. There are people out to get them.
Most guys I knew blew off steam by playing golf or swimming or running or just having a beer after work.
Whoever took those pictures and blew that story is a raging, gaping, cavernous asshole.
While I understand your point (that even perverts and deviants should “act ethically” toward one another, and “secret agreements” should be respected), viewed from a different angle, perverted people with perverted inclinations should be dragged out of their dungeons-of-strange-pleasures (think Pulp Fiction) and brought into the light so all can see.
I do not know a great deal about sexual perversions, but my understanding is that there is always a “psychological” factor operating, and often one unknown (unconscious, not made conscious) to the perv.
More and more the “sick soul” of America comes out into the open. It does not bode well. Sexual deviancy, lust for sadism, reveling in violence (think Hegseth) are examples. Perverted passions take over the personality, and when a whole nation begins to fall into pervertedness, watch out.
But wait! Aren’t we supposed to be kind? Couldn’t this be a teaching moment? This guy is either transgender or questioning. That’s two letters: T and Q! Shouldn’t he be doing presentations in elementary schools? He’s not cisgendered, so he’s got that going for him. What are his pronouns. Isn’t it wonderful a Republican is married to such a paragon of so many great things? If Noem were a Democrat, she’d be scoring more points that Pete Buttigieg.
…and that makes five or six keyboards the contributors to this site now owe me. OB, this is at least three from you alone!
And there’s Ann Althouse commenting on a NYT article (making the Times morally superior to the Daily Mail): “As the yard signs in my neighborhood say: Kindness is everything.” Hah!
Ah, but Joel, it’s the serious commenters like you, and Ryan, and AM, and HT, and so many others too numerous to mention, that do all the heavy lifting.
I am not going to milk the hypocrisy on the side of the Democrats angle here, except to says that a members of a party that celebrates people like Admiral Rachel Levine as Assistant Secretary of Health, and Sam Brinton as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition and transgenderism in general should be ethically estopped from ridiculing Bryon Noem for his particular sexual interests. You cannot explain to me that transgenderism is normal and acceptable, and Bryon Noem’s sexual interests are not.
In the 1950s there was a Lavender Scare, in which LGBTQ+ people were disqualified from working for the U.S Federal Government. President Dwight Eisenhower signed EO 10450, which defined “sexual perversion” as a security risk (blackmail), leading to the firing of over 10,000 employees. Intense investigations involving lie detector tests and interviews with families and neighbors were launched to identify gay and lesbian employees; those who were not cleared in these investigations were forced to resign. EO 10450 was rescinded under President Obama.
Sexual morals have liberalized since the 1950s. The election of Ronald Reagan as POTUS ended divorce as a disqualifier for high office in elections. The Bill Clinton impeachment fiasco settled issues as well: consensual sinful sexual conduct is not a disqualifier for the Presidency. That settled the matter for conservatives too: popular politicians do not have to resign for extramarital affairs and other sins. Trump as POTUS is supported by conservative Christians despite his colorful marital and sexual past. Elon Musk has 14 children with multiple women, which did not disqualifying from DOGE. Scott Bessent as Secretary of Treasury is openly gay. Many do not see transgenderism as a kink or perversion anymore, disqualifying a person from office (Rachel Levine). So why is Bryon Noem’s interest in cross dressing a matter of ethical concern? Shouldn’t we simply see this issue as a personal matter, only of interest to the Noem family?
One of the main reason the issue is raised is that the Noem family professes to be evangelical Christians. The double life of both Bryon and Kristi Noem violates Biblical morals. Kristi had a longstanding extramarital affair with Corey Lewandowski, which I think was an ethics issue due to the work relationship of Kristi and Corey. Many were surprised that husband Bryon, who was fully aware of the affair, did not file for divorce. Did he not have any self respect? Was he tied to Kristi with golden handcuffs? Did he perhaps have a cuckold fetish? Now we know what was happening. Bryon quietly quit the marriage a long time ago, indulging in his own sexual interests. And Kristi knew about it, and did not care. This is not the picture of a Christian marriage. But not living up to Biblical norms does not make it an ethics issue in a society that has said farewell to Christian sexual ethics.
But not living up to Biblical norms does not make it an ethics issue in a society that has said farewell to Christian sexual ethics.
Except when there are political points to be gained and you’re a Democrat party operative or any other member of the AUC, emphasis on the U component.