1. He could tell the son that he didn’t know. This would leave the question open in the already regretful son’s mind, maybe forever. Mayne the doubts would make him started drinking again. That answer certainly wouldn’t promote “closure.”
2. He could tell the son that he didn’t know, but that some of what he heard might mean that the father died suffering. That would be akin to #1, but worse.
3. He could refuse to answer, raising suspicions in the son that the withheld answer was something the doctor hesitated to relay out of kindness.
4. He could say, “Yes, I’m afraid your father died in horrible agony, calling out your name.” That would be cruel whether it was true or not.
5. Somewhat lesser, watered down versions of #5.
6. He could say what he did say.
Of course, whatever the son’s reaction would be to any of those options is moral luck. He might respond to #5 by thinking, “Good! It served the old bastard right!” However, the one response that is unquestionably kind, that scrupulously avoids all likely or potential harm and that can be decisively defended on utilitarian grounds is “Your father died in his sleep, peacefully.” None of the answers above will bring the father back to life. 1-5 carry the potential for haunting the son and exacerbating his grieving process to various degrees.
The one downside for the doctor is that what he said triggered his own ethics navel-gazing sending him to “The Ethicist,” and robbed him of the comforting myth that he is a better human being for telling the truth no matter what the consequences (to others.) I can see one arguable “benefit” of telling the son that his presence might have saved his father some suffering in his last breaths: the doctor might feel that the resulting guilt could finally prompt the alcohol-abusing son to reform, give up the booze, start a new life, become better, more responsible human being. Great: why not throw the son to the ground, slap him in the face and scream, “Yes! Your father suffered because of you, you coward! You couldn’t bear to see him die, so you got drunk and left him alone! Will you finally stop your irresponsible ways, hive up the bottle, and become a positive force in society? Will you? WILL YOU???”
“It’s understandable that you wanted to spare a grieving person further pain. Still, it was a mistake to give an answer you didn’t believe. A lie can sometimes be justified when it prevents serious harm and there’s no better alternative. Here, though, you could simply have explained that you weren’t there but that his father was being cared for, with the aim of keeping him comfortable. It’s very likely that the son was feeling guilt about not being there. You could truthfully have reassured him that his absence didn’t cause his father’s death or take away from the care he had previously shown.”
Wrong. And the last sentence isn’t true!
