This is the latest question from an ethics-challenged boob that “The Ethicist” (the New York Times Magazine’s ethics advice columnist, Kwame Anthony Appiah) thinks is worthy of discussion and publication:

“Can I Have an A.I. Chatbot Field My Mother’s Endless Complaints?” “Would using a chatbot as an emotional buffer be compassionate, or would we be failing in our filial duty by substituting an algorithm for a child’s attention?”—Name Withheld

Wow. No wonder you withheld your name from being attached to that disgusting suggestion, Whoever You Are. If you didn’t, everyone with an ethical brain cell left would know you’re a heartless asshole.

The answer is “No!” Sure, you can do it, just as you can set the neighbor’s dog on fire. But it’s obviously unethical, wrong, unforgivable, and a terrible idea. Of course it is. Gee, would it be all right to substitute a bot for actual parenting when your child is upset? Oooh, tough one! Would it be ethical to have chatbot in the confession booth while the priest takes a nap?

I wrote this before bothering to read what good ol’ Kwame wrote. Let’s see…

Ugh. “The Ethicist” actually thinks this abdication of family duty might be justifiable! He writes,

“The fact that a chatbot is no substitute for human companionship doesn’t mean it can’t play a useful role when other people aren’t available. You owe your mother attention and companionship, but not in unlimited quantities. It’s relevant that you and your brother are feeling exhausted by emotional demands that exceed what you can reasonably supply. If your mother would feel better having an A.I. chat partner, that counts as a reason to provide one.”

The last sentence is a despicable cheat. “If your mother would feel like she was getting exactly the same amount of attention and loving concern from a machine that she obviously needs from her children, then why not?” That’s a self-ratifying proposition. It would be just as valid if you substituted “trained snail” or “inanimate carbon rod” for “machine.”

If my parents , or my wife or my sister, or my son felt the need to talk to me, and especially me, for any reason important to them, I would be there for them, and they knew it. There was no limit. There would never be a limit. The same is true of any friend. (My clients, on the other hand, pay for the privilege) If I were running short of time due to other commitments, I would say so with apologies, but promise to be available as soon as possible. What I would never say is, “Hey, here’s a bot you can talk to. Good luck!”

You can read the whole exchange here. If I were you, I’d use my time more judiciously.