I decided to give you all a new rationalization to ponder under your Christmas tree, so say hello to “Willie’s Equivocation,” #19D on the list. I realized that this was a sneaky rationalization—by the definition that it is lie someone tells themselves to relieve them of guilt for wrongdoing—when I heard one of Kamala Harris’s campaign consultants say that “maybe they made some mistakes” that may have cost her the election. Maybe? In the run-up to election day, I remember hearing several Democrats say that Harris had run a “perfect” campaign, which is only slightly more ridiculous than saying that “maybe” there were some serious mistakes. Ya think? Nominating Harris was a mistake.

Willie is country music icon Willie Nelson, and his most famous song, “You Were Always on My Mind” says it all. I always found the song irritating, the credo of an asshole. “I was a crummy, selfish, inattentive and self-involved lover, but I was always thinking about you while I neglected you.” Great. 19D is grouped with other sub-rationalization under #19, “Nobody’s Perfect”: 19A, “I Never Said I Was Perfect,” 19B, “It Wasn’t The Best Choice,” and 19C, “It Was a Difficult Decision.” “Maybe I Did Something Wrong” might be the worst of the batch, ducking accountability by blurring the facts with doubt. Equivocation is the use of ambiguous language to conceal or avoid the truth: using “maybe” about unethical conduct when there are “no buts about it” is both cowardly and dishonest.