Stuart R. Ross, a non-practicing lawyer who, among other dealings, once owned a chunk of the Smurfs franchise, ran out of his own money and began pestering his successful  son-in-law, David S. Blitzer, for investment capital. After Ross blew through the tens of thousands of dollars he got from Blitzer, he demanded more, and Blitzer, a senior managing director of The Blackstone Group, told him that he wasn’t getting any more. So Ross adopted another strategy: he told his daughter’s husband, through repeated e-mails and phone calls, that he would reveal unidentified, career-wrecking secrets about Blitzer if Blitzer didn’t hand over more money—$5.5 million, to be precise.

This is called extortion, and is not a nice thing to do to anyone, especially family members. It is also illegal. Ross pleaded guilty to the offense in court, and is awaiting sentencing. The AP report says, incredibly, that lawyers expect him to get probation only, because of his age and bad health.

Wonderful! This means he’ll be available for those warm, family gatherings on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

During the trial, Ross also admitted that he offered to give up all rights to see his grandchildren for $5.5 million dollars. Blitzer refused this offer, and I wonder why. That was not extortion. All things considered, I would categorize it as “a bargain.”