Janice Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele , singing her name.
In Hawaii, a woman named Janice “Lokelani” Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele has been ordered by the government to change or shorten her name because the Department of Motor Vehicles system can’t accommodate her 35 letter last name.
Ms. Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele says this is disrespectful to Hawaiians, which is true, but it’s worse than that. This is government encroachment on individual freedom at its most insidious and objectionable. A citizen ordered by the government to change her name, her public identity, to accommodate an inadequate bureaucratic system? Not in the United States of America. Here the government has to accommodate her. This is not and never can become a one-size fits all nation, where non-conformity is penalized with stares, taxes and the lack of a driver’s license. Today Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele , tomorrow, Marshall. How dare they? We are all Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaeles now!
I’m serious, by the way.
But it is kind of funny.
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Pointer: James Taranto
Facts: Huffington Post
Graphic: Fark
Graphic:
Ethics Alarms 
Mary Poppins would no doubt have sung her name beautifully.
What is interesting is the potential expansion… Most Indians living in the States shorten their names considerably, probably due to social norms. Let those names run!
And if you said it loud enough, it would always sound precocious… er, precociousaunaele…
In your 2nd presentation of her name, you missed the space to the next word “HAS” (which should be HAD) and then you copied that “HAS” into the 3rd presentation of the name. I only point this out since the name itself is central to the subject of the article.
I see what happened. Thanks. Fixed it.
See also The Man Whose Name Wouldn’t Fit, by Theodore Tyler (searching for which also turned up this and this).
There is no argument against this post.
However, in our great modern day of complete license to change anything about ourselves under the guise of “self expression”:
Should then the various governments bend over backwards when someone wishes to change their name to more accurately reflect themselves, such as a John SmithofarizonalovesdogsandlongwalksonbeachesgraduatedfromBerkeleywithamajorinunderwaterbasketweavinglikesreadingethicsblogsandcommentingonfriendsfacebookaccountspreferschocolateicecreambutwillacceptvanillabutreallywouldpreferchocolatebecauseeveryoneknowschocolateisgoodmygenealogicalresearchsshowsidescendonmymomssidefromrussianimmigrantsandmyfatherssidefromsiouxindiansandirishtravellervagabondslovesreadingeecummingspoemswhichiswhatinspiredmynewlastnameinton?
No. That’s why judicial approval is required for legal name changes.
See http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Little_Bobby_Tables
I teach requirements engineering at the ANU. Thanks for bringing this to my attention, it will feature in my next set of lectures.
“Requirements Engineering.” In context I can guess the basic concept of what that means, but out of context the names sounds like a freaky 1984 dystopian government department.
Most engineering is about making sure you’re building the thing right.
Requirements engineering is about making sure you’re building the right thing.
I like it!
I was going to say that this reminded me of immigrants having their names changed at Ellis Island, but apparently name changing at Ellis Island is a myth (see http://www.nypl.org/blog/2013/07/02/name-changes-ellis-island).
Ms. Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele should be allowed to keep her name, just as the immigrants at Ellis Island were allowed to keep theirs.
This reminds me of all the times I have been told I can’t do something for my class because Administrator X purchased a system that can’t accommodate my request.
Some (possibly real) examples:
•We can no longer subscribe to your area’s professional journals online because our latest firewall blocks that port by default.
•You can’t use your computer to access your budget because our new fileserver requires a client that only works on Microsoft Vista.
•We can no longer give you access to your advisee’s files because the system has them listed as confidential and we don’t want to give faculty access to confidential files.
Rise up against the whitecoats! Don’t let sysadmins determine policy.
Some Fins and Welshmen might push that 35 character limit as well! But if that’s actually her hereditary name and the Hawaii DMV just can’t make accommodation, then let them get with Miss K and work something out. Why does this even become a public issue?