It probably isn’t the winner in the Ethics Alarms quest to identify the most unethical pop songs, but the 1949 ditty “Why Do They Always Say No?” is one of the most instructive nominations. The fascinating and essential feature of ethics is that our understanding of right and wrong evolves, changing and advancing with wisdom, cultural debate and reflection. This song is a tuneful reminder, arriving at our attention just as the culture, especially on campus, is struggling over exactly the dilemma the song celebrated. In 1949, however, literally no one thought about romantic or sexual gamesmanship as an ethical issue, or at least not a momentous one.
Have a listen (It’s on the B side of the record pictured, and starts playing at the halfway mark):
The lyrics are credited to Harry Pease, Frank Davis, Ed G. Nelson and Billy Glason. Only the latter has much of a footprint on Google, and none of them rate a Wikipedia entry. I doubt that it took four guys to write this song: It’s not exactly “A Day in the Life.” Glason (b. 1904) was probably the author. He shows up in the Encyclopedia of Vaudeville as a “singing comedian,” known for devising new punchlines for ancient jokes, such as
Q: “Who was that lady I saw you with last night at that sidewalk cafe?”
A: “That was no sidewalk cafe! That was our furniture!”
Pease, Davis, and Nelson were all musicians, though it’s also hard to imagine that the elemental tune required three collaborators. The lyrics are more disturbing read than heard:
Why do they always say no
When they know they mean yes all the time
You ask a girlie for a kiss or two
She’ll let you know that’s something I don’t do
How can they tell such a lie
And still look you straight in the eye
Whenever they say no to you go right ahead
Cause it’s 10 to 1 that they mean yes instead
Oh, why do they always say no
When you know they mean yes all the timeWhy do they always say no
When you know they mean yes all the time
You start to love them and they pout and fret
Down in their hearts they want all they can get
What keeps them acting that way
They don’t mean a word that they say
A girl that said she’d never marry me
She’s the mother of my happy family
Why do they always say no
You know they mean yes all the timeWhy do they always say no
When you know they mean yes all the time
You ask your girlie for a kiss or two
She’s lets you know that’s something I don’t do
How can they tell such a lie
And still look you straight in the eye
Whenever they say no to you go right ahead
Cause it’s 10 to 1 that they mean yes instead
Oh, why do they always say no
When you know they mean yes all the timeYou know they mean yes all the time.
“You know they mean yes all the time.”
Sure you do.
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Special thanks to my volunteer scout Fred, whose wife found this piece of musical ethics archeology.
Ethics Alarms 
1949 was a much more…uhm…innocent era, and the lyrics of the song are probably referring to the idea of “stealing a kiss”, a practice that women probably did not like much. However, it was perceived, at the time, as a relatively innocent activity, but was almost certainly the beginnings of the “I could tell she wanted it” crowd. And make no mistake, that attitude is why we now need to CODIFY “No means no” rather than it being something that every man should just know, without thinking.
That’s why I’m reluctant to try to choose any unethical songs for your challenge: there are just too damn many. If I think about how bad the lyrics are, I get blue. Even newer songs which should know better, are terrible. I look up the lyrics of a new to me performer and I’m too creeped out to want to hear it again. Mr. Pease may have been a comedian, but ‘I was only joking’ doesn’t fly as well anymore.
When my sweet spouse asked me for the most unethical pop song that I know of, he didn’t mention this quest on “Ethics Alarms.” I thought about the question for a little while and then I broke into this song–yup, this same one, “Why Do They Always Say ‘No’?” My dad, a dance instructor in the early 1950’s, had the 78rpm record of it and my mother always objected when he played it. She said it was a lie about women. The song is very, very catchy, and the idea that other kids also listened to it (and, like me, probably memorized it on a few hearings) now disquiets me, because kids learn from everything they hear. At the time I just thought, “Well, anyone who’s met me knows that that’s not me!” And it’s still not me. BTW, Mom clearly objected to the song, and around 1949 she turned down a proposal of marriage because she considered sexual gamesmanship unethical. When she told me about that, decades later, she said she would never have been able to trust that man after he tipped his hand, and didn’t want to marry anyone like that. (Dad might have liked the song, but he didn’t play games.)