If They Threw Elliot In Jail For Kissing Erika Eleniak, What Would Have Happened To E.T.?

In a memorable scene in “E.T.,” young hero Elliot (Henry Thomas), intoxicated by his psychic link to his marooned space alien pal, loses impulse control during Middle School science class and, while E.T. watches John Wayne’s passionate kiss with Maureen O’Hara in “The Quite Man,” embraces the class heart-throb—played by barely pubescent “Baywatch” babe-to-be Erika Eleniak!


— and gives her a passionate smooch.

If Spielberg’s classic premiered today, this scene might be condemned as sexual assault by feminists, who would insist that Elliot should have been charged. Is that really fair? Rational? Sane?

At  Pikesville (Maryland) Middle School, a 13-year-old boy has been charged with second-degree assault for kissing a 14-year-old girl on a dare. Police were called to the scene by the school, undoubtedly influenced by the current sexual assault freak-out on college campuses. (The proper response of an ethical and well-led police force, by the way, would be “Don’t waste our time.”)

The higher education sex hysteria, which is in the process of making campus romance too perilous for young men to experience, is bad enough, but this slippery slopeage criminalizes childhood. Yes, Elliot’s impulsive conduct can be a tort or a crime when engaged in by an adult. When engaged in by a child, it is called growing up. The proper adult response to it, as has worked well for centuries, is to use the incident as a teaching opportunity—and what do you know? This happened in a school! The real-life Elliot could have been instructed about individual rights, on avoiding dare traps, on respectful treatment of the other sex, on how to handle stirring hormonal urges, on how to apologize. Instead, the school taught him that society believes in criminalizing being a kid, that political correctness vaporizes brains, and that schools are run by child-abusing fools.

These are important lessons to learn in 2015 to be sure, but it would be better if nobody had to learn them. In a culture in the process of abandoning all sense of proportion, empathy, compassion and fairness so it can march to the grim tune dictated by social justice warriors, however, they are mandatory.

If Elliot understood what was coming in American culture, he would have been well advised to go home with E.T.

It has to be better on his planet.


25 thoughts on “If They Threw Elliot In Jail For Kissing Erika Eleniak, What Would Have Happened To E.T.?

  1. What bothers me about this is that the school administrator’s reaction to this assault assumes that the girl was powerless to fend off the lad’s “unwanted advances” (if they were unwanted). This stems from the nutty strain of feminism that started in the 70s and assumed that women are weak creatures that must be protected from male victimizers. If he groped the girl or something, yes he should have been suspended. But a kiss? Please!

  2. It’s entirely possible the girl encouraged or engineered the whole thing. Middle school girls are often much more aggressive than boys.

    But, the narrative must be preserved. It’s dangerous to allow a certain subset of society (example: athletes) to believe they can have everything their own way whether it’s ethical or lawful or even decent. Entitled women won’t be any less tyrannical than the white males they despise.

    • More than possible, I’d say. The point of ethics is to make society more pleasant to live in. This story and the linked-in mess right before show how hyper-victimizing women is doing the opposite.

  3. When did people become more interested in punishment than in teaching? My answer is, “when they learned to fear punishment themselves, for not doing what irrational parents want.” The solution is for people to have either the courage, the security, or the finesse to fight back against people who demand stupid things.

  4. Hmmm…so if a adult female teacher engages in a sexual relationship with a willing male student, we’re supposed to throw the book at her (which I agree with). But if some boy forces a kiss on my unwilling daughter it’s boys will be boys? Wow.

    I’ll agree with you, Jack, that it’s called growing up, if you agree with me that when her father comes over and puts a boot in his ass, that is also called growing up.

    • Well, as long as you agree that:
      1) Sexual relationship is not the same as a solo kiss;
      2) Adults engaging in behaviors with a minor are not the same as minor engaging in the behaviors with one another (both, in your teacher rape, as well as father-beating-up-minor scenario);
      3) Adults who have had their “chance” to learn, and should already know, unequivocally, what is acceptable behavior is different that children who are still learning;
      4) Context matters;
      5) That Jack’s point never was “boys will be boys”;
      6) That it’s not Jack defining this as “growing up”; rather, the process of learning right from wrong by teenagers is universally accepted as “growing up”

    • “I’ll agree with you, Jack, that it’s called growing up, if you agree with me that when her father comes over and puts a boot in his ass, that is also called growing up.”

      I would submit, as a father to teach a daughter in that instance the following:

      1) You’re a beautiful young lady, there’s a reason boys will like you.
      2) Be graceful in all things and treat each other with kindness until you have to slug someone.
      3) A boy kissing you is one of those instances.
      4) Don’t tell the teacher unless he actually hurts you.
      5) If he rats you out, tell the teacher you were defending yourself.
      6) If the teacher gets mad at you, I’ll back you up.
      7) That doesn’t mean I’ll back you up every time the teacher gets on to you, so don’t abuse it.

      • ^This.

        I wasn’t going to comment because I wanted to digest it for awhile, but this is my approach for my daughter as well. (Though she’s just turning 5 so she doesn’t know it yet.)

  5. I went to single-sex Catholic high school. One of the best choices my family ever made, because it kept me, my brother, and a few other relatives away from the BS that is gender relations during our teen years (it also kept us away from the scummy element because the brothers could kick anyone out whose actions [fighting, substance abuse] said they didn’t want to be there). I only wish single-sex higher education was still widely available for men as well as women, so that it would again be about EDUCATION, not balancing the temporary pleasure of hooking up against the very real possibility of losing your future on a very flimsy accusation. I said it once, and I’ll say it again, a white male college student worth his salt will stay away from the girls in college. There’s plenty of time after you graduate, when you’re 22 and relatively mature, to find the love of your life where every level of everything isn’t suffused with fear and political correctness, where the deck isn’t stacked against you, and a bad date is just a bad date, not a ticket to losing everything you’ve worked for so far and possibly your future.

    • That’s the same conclusion I came to when I started college. I don’t draw the distinction between during college and after it, though. My policy is simply to get to know and trust someone’s character and maturity for a good while before having sex with them. I’d also prefer a committed relationship in which I’m valued for my own character traits, because emotional support is important for relationships. On the one hand, I haven’t met anyone up to my standards yet. On the other hand, it’s kept my life from becoming annoyingly complicated.

        • Ha! Yes, indeed. I’m looking for a relationship where we can hold each other to higher standards. Someone who accepts me exactly as I am doesn’t have enough class.

  6. I have tried to have this conversation with someone on Facebook with my emphasis being on the “teaching respect” aspect and have been ridiculed for such a simplistic and ineffective view. Apparently, according to the SJW, males are not only all potential rapists but are all incapable of learning respect.

    • It’s hard deciding which feminist wave is the one dominating any episode involving feminism.

      1) The “we want to vote” feminists.
      2) The sexual revolution feminists.
      3) The we hate all men feminists.

      This latter episode is seems to be the we hate all men feminists.

    • It’s the opposite number to the feminism teaching that all women are vulnerable damsels in distress that need to be strongly protected because the top priority is their safety and comfort. To this thinking all men are predators on hormone overload who always think with the wrong head and never take no for an answer. The remedy for this is Fort Feminist, where any man who tries to enter or even approach is under arrest.

      • Actually, it is the same as the helpless damsel; it is just more subtle. In its most extreme presentation, it is unable to hear or contemplate anything the least in conflict with what it already believes. It requires trigger warnings and safe places to protect its delicacy. Another aspect of it shows the helpless damsel unable to tell a boy to stop if she doesn’t want a kiss. Not to be confused with instances of actual sexual harassment or assault, this model finds all males incapable of stopping if told or of governing themselves or of having or even learning respect for women, and therefore they are all potential rapists–or actual ones who just haven’t been caught yet. All men are the enemy.

  7. You forget she was constantly saying “hi Elliot” at the bus stop to him while he was ignoring her. She obviously had a crush on him

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