OK, Which Do We Require Background Checks For: Microwaves, “The Walking Dead,” Electric Guitars, Or Netflix?

Microwaves don't kill people, people kill semi-zombies with microwaves...

Microwaves don’t kill people, people kill semi-zombies with microwaves…

Can’t ban stupidity, unfortunately…

The Associated Press reports that in Grants, New Mexico, 23-year-old Damon Perry beat his friend,  23-year-old Christopher Paquin, to death with “his hands, feet, an electric guitar and a microwave.”

Perry claimed he and Paquin had been drinking, but that his drinking buddy began “to change into a zombie” and tried to bite him. Naturally, he defended himself with gusto.

Perry also mentioned  that he’d been binge-watching The Walking Dead on Netflix prior to the incident.

22 thoughts on “OK, Which Do We Require Background Checks For: Microwaves, “The Walking Dead,” Electric Guitars, Or Netflix?

  1. As long as the background checks of the background-checkers are made public, I have no problem with users of Netflix and microwave ovens being checked. All residential areas should be guitar-free zones. Also, no pets permitted within 1000 feet (or “metres,” take your pick) of any microwave.

  2. What about cars? The woman who killed 4 and wounded 44 in Stillwater, OK this weekend was trying to kill herself and go out in a blaze of glory. That is the same motivation almost all the recent mass shooters has had. Do we need background checks on car ownership and driver’s licenses? No felons can have cars. No felons can have driver’s licenses. No one who has EVER seen a physician, counselor, or psychologist for depression can have a driver’s license or own a car. No one who has ever committed a violent misdemeanor can have a car or license. No one who has been admitted to a drug or alcohol rehab facility may own a car or be issued a driver’s license for 5 years. No cars on school campuses, state or federal buildings, daycare centers, etc. You must have a valid Car Owner Identification Document (COID) which will be valid for 5-10 years. When purchasing a car, the seller must call the state to make sure the purchaser’s COID is valid and register the purchase. Medical Professionals will have a hotline they can call to suspend a COID if they suspect the person is not capable of the responsibility.
    (these rules modeled on Illinois firearms laws).

  3. Frankly, it wouldn’t break my heart if all zombie-related books, movies and television shows were banned for being moronic.

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