Pastafarians are anti-religious wise-asses who claim to adhere to a satirical “religion” created to mock other religions. They have wasted court time and abused the justice system by suing in various states for the right to exercise their non-existent religion by wearing an upside-down spaghetti strainer on their heads for driver’s license photos. More ridiculous still, they have succeeded in several states and a number of foreign countries.
Nebraska to the rescue: in a Tuesday ruling, U.S. District Judge John Gerrard dismissed a religious discrimination suit filed by Pastafarian Stephen Cavanaugh. The judge state the obvious fact that the religion Cavanaugh cited—Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster—is not a religion but a parody.
I have many friends and even relatives who have been “touched by His noodly appendage,” but a joke is a joke, and courts have more important business than refereeing whimsical grandstanding by atheists like Cavanaugh.
“The Court finds that FSMism is not a ‘religion’ within the meaning of the relevant federal statutes and constitutional jurisprudence. It is, rather, a parody, intended to advance an argument about science, the evolution of life, and the place of religion in public education,” Gerrard wrote. “Those are important issues, and FSMism contains a serious argument but that does not mean that the trappings of the satire used to make that argument are entitled to protection as a ‘religion.’”
The “church” is outraged, it claims. “The satire argument is flimsy,” fumes the official website of the FSM. “Lots of people do view FSM as satire, but I’m not sure how that disqualifies it as a real religion. True Believers make up a small proportion of mainstream religions as well — the difference is that Pastafarians are more honest when they don’t hold a literal view of their religion.”
Right. Name another religion that traces its origin to a gag web post ridiculing the logic of every other religion. This is res ipsa loquitur. When your religion’s “heaven” has a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano, your tongue is actually sticking through your cheek. An ethical jester knows when a joke has gone too far.
Pointer: ABA Journal