In my recent essay about my Facebook friends’ reactions and over-reactions to the Orlando shooting, I referred to one particular Facebook post and my critical response to it. As I suspected, knowing that poster and his character like I do, my friend Mark commented on the essay, and followed up with this statement on Facebook. I asked if he would grant me permission to quote him, and he did.
This is an extraordinarily ethical and thoughtful man, and this is how an ethical human being thinks when emotion and non-ethical considerations become the strongest.
This is what an ethics alarm ringing sounds like.
Having suffered a near-toxic overload of Facebook this week, I’m going to give the points to Facebook and withdraw from the game for a few days. I love being here and interacting with my friends, family, and especially with those who don’t necessarily share my beliefs. Argument can be fun and challenging.
But.
We need to start being more careful with each other, especially in times of sorrow like this last week. What we forget (and what I have learned recently in myself) is that these shootings traumatize the whole country in one way or another – whether a fear of a loss of rights and liberty on one side, or increasing fear for bodily safety in our every day lives on the other. Orlando becomes DC becomes Kansas becomes California becomes . . . When American citizens die, we are – or should be – all in this together. The poisonous dialog I’ve witnessed and, sadly, participated in or instigated this week shows that I, at least, had forgotten that.
We need to start being more careful with one another. Life behind a computer screen has left us unfiltered and mean. As a friend once said looking at a Thanksgiving potluck table that had run out of gravy: “that ain’t right.”
I want to wish a Happy Fathers Day to all of those men out there who are Dads, Fathers, Pop-Pops, Papis, Daddies, Granddaddies, and we Uncles, Brothers, Sons, and Friends who act as fathers in our own way. We need all of you more than ever.
So – time for a Facebook Break. See you next week.
Thank-you, Mark.
How proud I am to be able to call a wise man like you friend all these years.
Ethics Alarms 
Thanks for posting Jack, and Happy Father’s day. We share the joy of adopted children, and I’m so thankful that god gave me an opportunity to be a papa.
I don’t usually share the opinions with many of your readers, but truly value the commentary on this blog. We all need to take a moment at times, and reflect on how good we really have it, and political differences aside, how blessed we are, and more importantly, how much we actually have in common. I continue to believe that it’s the only thing that’ll save us from ourselves…
Enjoy your Sunday…..
This blog (I hate that term) is my primary computer vice and I need to just say no from time to time. I don’t do facebook. Glad I don’t.
Thanks, Jack. And please pass my thanks on to Mark, as well. Sounds like he is well on his way to being an adult.
As are we all.
This is absolutely one of the most pithy observations I’ve read lately. The pseudo-anonymity and abrasive culture that have developed as the Internet has matured has brought out the worst in people. Many are more interested in plaudits than carefulness, and plaudits often come with stridency and hyperbole.
There is no reason for us to be mean behind a computer screen. Oh, it’s easy, and unlike being mean to a person’s face, it’s not scary or embarrassing. The meanness is simply indulging our basest desires to tell everyone who disagrees with us off, because we all know we’re right, dammit.
This made my day, Jack. Thanks for bringing it to the fore.