This part is all true, unfortunately:
Many years ago, indeed, decades ago, I had a very traumatic and unpleasant experience. A very gay friend, an actor, called me to ask me to do a favor for him. He had been invited to a formal event by another actress we both knew. He didn’t know her as well as I did, but she was kind of pathetic and needy, and my friend, who in every respect other than his sexuality would be a dream date (among other talents, he danced like Fred Astaire) said he would be able to endure the evening only if they doubled with me and my current girlfriend. I agreed, pending my date’s approval, which I received.
The evening was a humiliation that I will never forget.
My date, it turned out, had an strange and unrequited crush on my gay friend. I spent most of the night watching her spin around the dance floor with him—she was a professional dancer—while I sat with my friend’s supposed date, who sat making moon eyes at me. I danced with her a bit, though she was an even worse dancer than I was. I wanted to die. Not every guy gets his date charmed away by someone as flamboyantly uninterested in woman as Liberace.
The worst was yet to come. My date decided to stay the night with my gay friend—I forgave him, as he was genuinely guileless, but not her—and I took his date, now attached to me like a barnacle, which she resembled but with red hair, back to her apartment. I walked her to her door, and then, without warning, she reached up (I was about a foot taller than she), grabbed me by the neck, violently pulled my head down, kissed me, and stuck her remarkably long tongue so far down my throat that I nearly choked. I remember that my eyes were wide open, and so were hers, staring back at me like the Devil does to Mia Farrow while he’s raping her in “Rosemary’s Baby.” (Or so it seemed at the time. To be honest, her eyes were scarier than Satan’s. ) That image haunted me to for a weeks, and now I’m remembering it again. ARRGHHH! THANKS, Ethics Alarms!
I never spoke to her after that night.
Fortunately, I did not become pregnant.
Your Ethics Alarms Ethics Quiz of the Day, Harvey Weinstein Ethics Train Wreck edition:
Imagine that my default date, Mother Tongue, as I ruefully referred to her later, is now an outspoken public figure and feminist regularly appearing on CNN panels and other venues. Imagine also that she is calling for the metaphorical heads of every man recently caught up in #MeToo memories. She says that whenever harassment, groping or sexual misconduct it occurred, it does not matter. Until the culture has been reformed, until men learn that unconsented sexual contact is wrong and an affront to all women, such current and prior offenders must be purged from positions of power and influence.
A. Should I reveal her conduct toward me on that horrific evening, all those years ago?
B. What if another accuser come forward with a similar account, and she denies it?