How Bad Is The Madness? This Bad… [Corrected!]

Trust me, that’s appropriate for this post. So is this:

What’s the connection? Well, as part of the effort to declare virtually all Western  culture racist to justify tearing it down, Black Lives Matter activist Fiona Onasanya, a former member of the UK parliament, argues that Rice Krispies are racist because the three elves who are the spokeselves for the Kelloggues cereal are all white. Moreover, she argues, “Coco Pops and Rice Krispies have the same compòsition (except for the fact CP’s are brown and chocolate flavoured)… so I was wondering why Rice Krispies have three white boys representing the brand and Coco Pops have a monkey?”

And you thought banning “Eskimo Pie” was loony.

Her first contention is mind-meltingly stupid, but also ominous. I have no doubt that the extreme and essentially racist logic of the George Floyd Freakout will eventually reach this point if it hasn’t already. Any group, even as small as three (or two?) that doesn’t include a black member, or at least, in this case, an “elf of color,” is prescriptively based on discrimination and thus racist.  We are seeing evidence of this trend taking root in such weird developments as “Jake from State Farm” suddenly changing color. Soon the Three Stooges will have to be colorized to show a black Stooge, and it will have to be Moe, since he’s in charge. It can’t be Larry, who’s submissive, or Curly, who’s an idiot. No, it has to be Moe, and the sight of him abusing the white Stooges will suddenly make the old comedy shorts popular again.

I’m kidding, but just barely.

Her second contention—-cereal racism—is not just strained to the point of madness..

Sorry! It just popped out!

Where was I? Oh–Her second contention—-cereal racism—is not just strained (Did anyone ever think of Rice Krispies as having two races?) it’s also factually wrong, meaning she shot off her mouth without knowing what she was talking about or checking the facts. (Imagine a Black Lives Matter activists not checking facts!)

Here is the current box of Cocoa Krispies:

and the 1985 version:

Through the years all sorts of characters and animals have briefly appeared on the box, like Snagglepuss

…a cave man…

… an elephant…

…and, yes, a few monkeys…

also a chimp…

Well, I guess that settles it then. Racist!

What are the odds that Kellogg’s, being another spineless American corporation that will abandon all principle to pander to the mob, especially this one, will apologize and do something ridiculous to try to address this “grievance”?

21 thoughts on “How Bad Is The Madness? This Bad… [Corrected!]

  1. My childhood is ruined!

    My first reaction as that the mascot for Coco Pops is a bird and that the advocate is utterly insane:

    Then I noticed the spelling of “Cocoa Puffs”, and realized I never in my 32 years heard of “Coco Pops”! I’d only ever seen Koco Krispies. Must be a regional thing.

    • Did you watch the news this week and/or follow the NASCAR kerfuffle? We had people falling over themselves to declare a noose to the most offensive thing in the history of nooses, even though the noose was not a noose but a garage door rope puller. Yet, ol’ Bubba Wallace ran the TV circuit declaring his outrage for being the target of a racist attack. (It is my understanding that he didn’t even discover the noose; one of his pit crew noticed it when the garage door was opened and there it was, in all its historical and metaphorical glory, hanging from the door handle. Ol’ Bubba also told the entire world that NASCAR is steeped in tradition of racism. Nice. Let’s knot alienate our fans, eh?

      I don’t think that Kellogg’s will cave under on this one, though. Kellogg’s told the Daily Mail in a statement that it “stands in support of the black community.” Further, “We do not tolerate discrimination and believe that people of all races, genders, backgrounds, sexual orientation, religions, capabilities and beliefs should be treated with the utmost dignity and respect,”* the company said, going on to note that the Coco Pops monkey is also the same character representing the white chocolate cereal. “The monkey mascot that appears on both white and milk chocolate Coco Pops, was created in the 1980s to highlight the playful personality of the brand.”


      *Ed. Note: Kellogg’s will live to regret that statement. It is far too nuanced and inclusive for The Mob. They will take Kellogg’s by storm and topple the company’s cereal making machines in the Name of George Floyd.

  2. I get it now! Toucan Sam…rainbow colored bill, Froot (“FRUIT”, for God’s sake!) Loops… They’ve been mocking gays since 1963!

    • Ugh. Don’t get me started on Sam. He was originally voiced by an impression of Ronald Coleman, the British actor. Why, I don’t know. Now he sounds like nobody, but still not Brazilian.

  3. How bad is the Madness?
    Well, about 50 years ago I was going through race relations training in the Army (later renamed to human relations) and we were told that the black board in the front of the classroom was not to be referred to as a blackboard, it was a chalkboard. ‘Blackball’ was another term on the don’t use list, although I don’t think blackballing was much used in the Army anyway. ‘Black mark’, ‘black sheep’, ‘blacklist’, ‘black market’, and a number of others were not to be used, or only to be used with great care.
    Fifty years later, I would advise everyone who has a rope on their garage door or attic ladder to immediately make sure it does not have a loop on the end. Yes, yes, I know, it’s a handle that makes it easier to pull the rope down, but, if you have one, you will have to be investigated, maybe by the FBI, to make sure there is no hate crime involved. And, the media, and maybe your neighbors and others, will refer to it as a noose forever after.

    • Totally agree on the rope pull thingies. I removed all rope loop pull thingies and replaced them with plastic pull apparati* bearing a pleasant shade of light blue. I was going to use red plastic pull thingies but I wanted to make sure that my garage door pull thingies didn’t offend my garage doors. Oh, and I switched the off-white rope for a red and white swirly ropey-twine so as to pay homage to the Winter Holiday cheer. That’s still ok, right? Please let me know. I have a multicolored rope in the garage and . . . Oh, hell. I will simply switch the red and white swirly ropey-twine for the multicolored rope just to be safe. .


      *Ed. Note: I realize that “apparati” and “thingies” are not necessarily proper words to describe what is more commonly known in the marketplace as a handle. But, I did not want to presume the handle’s essence by simply referring to it as a “handle”. I am waiting for guidance for the Handle Diversity Commission Agency Association. I will edit this post when I get the update on proper terminology.

      • Multicolored won’t fool anyone. You might get a pass for awhile if it is rainbow pattern and not just a jumble of un-woke colors. But, even so, rope? C’mon man.

      • It won’t work. The so-called “nooses” that prompted investigation in Oakland were a pleasant shade of blue and had handles on them (because they were exercise equipment, not nooses), and the mayor insisted on an FBI investigation anyway, even after a black man came forward and stated that he had put them in the trees himself for exercise purposes — and even provided a video of himself and others using the equipment.

    • Is the ascendancy of whiteboards over blackboards in more recent years a sign of whiteboard privilege? Are those who use them whiteboard supremacists? Should boardism be be universally denounced? Can I get funding from the Woke Departments of various corporations (some of the worst offenders, actually) to study this?

  4. You’re proposing we retroactively blackface Moe Howard?

    So we can go ahead and cancel him right?

    I mean…talk about a cross-over ethics episode relating to cancel culture, pretend-racism, blackface, and using digitally modified long dead actors…

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