Fine, You Loved Your Maniac Son. Now Shut The Hell Up, Mom!

There is a point where loyalty, unconditional love and bias-born blindness can no longer be tolerated nor excused, and Adriana Reyes, the mother of mass murderer Salvador Ramos, reached that point and passed it.

Her various efforts to defend her now fortunately dead son or to mitigate his incomprehensible crimes do nothing but harm. They contribute just this to understanding of the tragedy: Ramos was raised by a stupid, distracted mother with the ethical instincts of a sea sponge. Thanks, Adriana, but we kind of figured that out. We don’t need the reminders.

Reyes has now said…

  • “Forgive me, forgive my son.” No!
  • “I only want the innocent children who died to forgive me.” They can’t forgive you. Your psychopath son murdered them, and they’re dead. Which part of this can’t you understand?
  • “I have no words to say.”  Then stop talking.
  • “I don’t know what he was thinking.” Who cares what he was thinking?
  • “We all have a rage, that some people have it more than others.” Oh! Your son is just like the rest of us, only more so. Thanks for that perspective! Now be so good as to hold your mouth shut so we can sew your lips together…
  • “Please don’t judge him.” Why would we judge someone who decided to kill 19 children and two teachers just because they existed? What’s the matter with you? We judge him the lowest form of human life and an irredeemable villain.
  • “He’s not a monster.” If someone who spontaneously kills children isn’t a monster, what is? Jack the Ripper only murdered five victims. Ted Bundy didn’t kill 21. Jeffrey Daumer, the Boston Strangler and the D.C. Snipers didn’t hit that number, and Reyes’ son, unlike those monsters, did it all in a single day.
  • “He had his reasons for doing what he did.” DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!! That’s it! The most offensive, dumbest, and unethical comment of all the stunningly offensive, dumb, unethical comments this infuriating woman has made. Is that on the Ethics Alarms Rationalizations list? No! It isn’t! I’m putting it in today: “The Murderer’s Mother’s Excuse.”

Here was Mom’s answer to the question, “What reasons?” “To get closer to those children instead of paying attention to the other bad things.” 

Got it. You’re a moron. I think I’ll go interview a rock now.


Sources: ABC, New York Post

15 thoughts on “Fine, You Loved Your Maniac Son. Now Shut The Hell Up, Mom!

  1. I was willing to overlook the first five statements. I can’t imagine having a relative, much less a child, commit such a terrible crime. The need to say something, despite there being virtually nothing that can be said, is so prevalent in our culture that we often judge people for not saying anything. I hope I am never in her shoes.

    But she knocked sanity out of the park with the rest. My heart breaks for this woman. She’s lost her son and her mind.

  2. Most of the other statements could be dismissed as a grieving mother or someone who isn’t articulate.

    The last one though. “He had his reasons.” What the hell does that even mean?

    How bout: My son committed a terrible crime, and there is no excuse for his actions. I hope the families who have lost loved ones because of his selfish actions can someday find peace. I’m sorry for not being the mother I should have been.

    • It means she’s an idiot. That’s what it means. Any decent parent with a brain would say the equivilent of your statement, and in the past, most have.

      I keep thinking of Maureen Stapleton’s big moment in “Airport,” when her character goes to the shaken passengers getting off the plane that her disturbed husband (Van Heflin) nearly brought down with a bomb and keeps saying, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” That’s the human reaction and one I can respect. Not “he had his reasons.”

  3. Unfortunately, this is all standard issue stuff. She’s just said it out loud to media willing to print what she’s said. In Hispanic cultures, sons are little gods. Needless to say, they can do no wrong.

        • What a unexpected development. I am shocked to discover that this monster, like nearly every single other school shooter or violent gang thug, had no father in his life. Shocked, I say.

          I’ll be equally shocked if it turns out he’d been on SSRIs or similar drugs since he was a young child, as well.

  4. I’m going to cut her a little slack. Her son did something unimaginably awful and is now dead… and while she’s still trying to process the horror, some asshole thrusts a microphone in her face as she’s crying in her car. With the exception of her last statement, which makes no sense, the rest is a perfectly reasonable response under the circumstances.
    Yes, she’d have done better to tell the reporter to shove the mic where the sun don’t shine, but who among us would be thinking clearly in a moment like that?
    You don’t have to be stupid to say or do stupid things. You don’t have to be a monster to do monstrous things. This woman might not be the best mother in history, but she’s almost certainly no worse that millions of others who don’t have to go through the rest of their lives carrying the kind of grief and shame she must feel. I’m willing grant her some grace, at least in the short term.

    • Ethical response, as usual. I can’t quibble with it. However, I would expect even a mother to know when such sentiments can’t possibly do anything but infuriate and run metaphorical salt in real wounds.

      • I’d say this is a little of the “she was having a bad day” rationalization. She could have just burst into tears and walked away.

      • Love and grief tend to make us do stupid things. Not really suprised by the actions, but I don’t condone them either.

    • I agree with Curmie. This woman is completely unprepared to handle what he monster son did. Who wouldn’t say incomprehensible things immediately after seeing the horror unleashed by her son? The last statement I interpret as, “I have no idea why he did it. He did it and must have had some reason, which completely escapes me.”


  5. [NOTE: I tried to post this yesterday, several times. The first time, it appeared to go, but it did not show up on the blog. A few times after that, I got a notice that this appeared to be a duplicate post, and it would not go. It still has not made it on to the blog, so I’m trying again, despite the diminishment of timeliness.]
    There are several things wrong with the analysis presented here.
    “Ramos was raised by a stupid, distracted mother with the ethical instincts of a sea sponge.” That claim may be true, but it is not reasonable to make it based on a skimpy interview given unwisely while under extreme stress and on whatever the press has said about her. To judge her based on what her son did is to judge her out of ignorance. Parenting is important, but no parent is fully responsible for the actions of their children, especially their adult children. I am familiar with one family in which one child became a highly educated college professor while the other became a drug-using bum. Same parents.
    “They can’t forgive you.” Perhaps in her view, the spirits of the dead live in a different existence, an afterlife, in which they do have the ability to forgive. That view would be consistent with much of Hispanic culture,
    “Who cares what he was thinking?” Well, a lot of us, actually, who want to try to understand the mentality of someone who can commit such a heinous act.
    “DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!!” ‘He had his reasons’ may be a rationalization, but it seems much more likely to me that she was not trying to excuse him, but to say that she could not understand why he did what he did. Her response to, “What reasons?” is incoherent, an indication she was not thinking clearly at all.
    There may come a time when we will understand her better, but, until then, tolerance and a measure of compassion are called for; she is a victim, too, as is the parent of any child who commits a horrible crime.
    Doing or saying something idiotic does not make one an idiot, but a major failure on her part was her failure to interpose a lawyer between herself and that microphone so that responses to reporters’ questions, if any, would have been perfect.

    • I admire your glass-one/eighth-full approach, HJ, but I’ve heard and read dozens of motherly laments after a son goes rogue over the decades, and none came close to this idiot’s nonsense. I am 100% confident of my diagnosis. We have enough other evidence already about Ramos’s proclivities to conclude she was inattentive. Then she says her son wasn’t violent. Who says that about someone who had shot his grandmother in the face?

      And no, I don’t care what someone who decided to shoot children on the spur of the moment is “thinking.” From an ethical point of view, it doesn’t matter. There’s no justification or excuse. The act is what matters.

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