Two stories, both head-explodingly idiotic, both linked to Bizarro World Ethics and pathological virtue-signaling needs in oppressive leftist-indoctrination saturated cultures. One is a gag, the other is a tragedy, yet there is hardly a filament of difference between them in the 21st Century ethics and rationality rot they illustrate.
I read the two in succession by pure coincidence, and Poe’s Law immediately leaped into my mind. Poe’s Law was formulated in 20o5 (by Nathan Poe, not Edgar Allan Poe) and has become an essential concept since. It holds that satirical accounts involving extreme examples of ideological insanity can be impossible to distinguish from actual events, because current ideological extremism defies parody. Let’s cut to the chase, for this isn’t a quiz: the satirical piece was “I apologize for my white baby.”
It is genuine satire rather than a hoax; the author drops plenty of clues just silly enough to signal that the tongue is nestled in the cheek as a white mother expresses her revulsion at her own white baby. (“She naturally makes the “OK” sign with her tiny, newborn fingers. When I told my pediatrician I was worried that this might be her expressing solidarity with the alt-right, he said that’s just a reflexive action. My suspicion is that it goes much deeper than that. We come out of the womb knowing the white power symbol. It’s ingrained in our colonizer DNA.”)
Then I read about how Oklahoma Sooners assistant football coach Cale Gundy, the longest-serving coach in college football, had resigned over the weekend because he had uttered a word that was so “shameful and hurtful” that he was compelled to leave his job. The tale was that Gundy was running a film study session for his players last week, and they were supposed to be taking notes. He noticed one player was “distracted,” so in the time-honored fashion of teachers through generations, he snatched that player’s iPad “and read aloud the words that were written on his screen” without focusing on what they were. “One particular word that I should never—under any circumstance—have uttered was displayed on that screen. In the moment, I did not even realize what I was reading and, as soon as I did, I was horrified…I want to be very clear: the words I read aloud from that screen were not my words. What I said was not malicious; it wasn’t even intentional,” Gundy explained. “Still, I am mature enough to know that the word I said was shameful and hurtful, no matter my intentions.”
But not mature, smart or brave enough to refuse to punish himself for simply reading a word out loud. So he resigned as penance, or in shame, or as a symbolic sacrifice to systemic racism, or something. At least he didn’t hurl himself out the window to his death: that was another option.
Theories abound that Gundy was forced to resign, which is no less stupid than if he did all of this himself. The episode as he describes it suggests no misconduct at all on his part, nor, for that matter, on the part of the player who wrote the dreaded, accursed word, whatever it is. Simply making a sound or writing the symbols that represent it are not, can not and must not be a societal taboo in a free society absent context, intent, purpose and effect. The lunacy that an instructor at an institution of higher education has been so indoctrinated by extreme progressive theology that he cannot grasp this is what triggers Poe’s Law.
As a special frosting on the stupid cake is the detail that nobody, including Gundy, will tell us what word supposedly justified his career suicide. You see, journalists are so inculcated in wokeness, self-censorship and The Great Stupid that they won’t even write the word that is central to the entire incident, though their alleged profession is to inform the public. Let’s imagine that what Gundy read off that iPad by accident really is a literal Killer Word that plants a fatal ticking time-bomb aneurysm in the brains of all that hear it. Never mind: today’s “reporters” would refuse to report such a word anyway, thus leaving the next innocent who stumbles upon the fatal letters to meet Gundy’s fate.
It’s unethical to be so stupid. A society that isn’t smarter than this doesn’t deserve to survive.
Even Major Clipton is too kind for such a story: it’s time for the “Plan Nine From Outer Space” clip…