Now THAT’S A Grudge!

Icky, unethical, or just remarkable devotion to an agenda? Whatever it is, I’m sort of impressed. When most people say, “I’ll piss on your grave!” they are just indulging in wishful thinking.

Dean Eichler, 68, of Bergenfield, N.J. was finally secretly recorded on video pulling into the Tappan Reformed Church Cemetery in his SUV for his daily ritual. As he leaves the motor running, Eichner slowly walks towards Linda Torello’s grave while unzipping his fly. Eichner urinates vigorously on her final resting place, then returns to his SUV and drives away.

43-year-old Michael Murphy used hidden cameras to catch the performance after finding traces of urine along with plastic bags with feces whenever he visited his mother’s grave in Orangetown, New York. The elderly man visits almost every day at around 6:00 am. He is, as you might guess, Linda’s ex-husband whom she divorced 48 years ago. Michael got permission to set up the cameras; apparently this ritual has been going on for a long, long time. Interestingly a woman, assumed to be Eichner’s spouse, accompanies him on his morning visits.

Murphy says that his mother’s brief marriage to the guy ended when she became pregnant and he didn’t want to be a father. (There’s got to be more to the story than that!) “How he found my mother’s grave site we are not sure. But this stems back to a problem almost 50 years ago,” Michael wrote on Facebook. He says the family has had no contact with him since 1976.

Police say there is nothing they can (or will) do about routine grave-pissing, but Linda Torello’s son is trying to determine if a complaint for grave desecration will prompt some action.

You know, the late Stephen Sondheim could have written a musical about this.

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Pointer: Oddity Central

9 thoughts on “Now THAT’S A Grudge!

  1. Haha, I had a chance to piss on a jerky former coach’s grave, but thankfully I was in my right mind and decided that I was a grown-ass man and knew better than juvenile vandalism. Plus, although the guy may have been a jerk as a retired guy coaching baseball for the hell of it, he was also a World War II vet and at least deserving of respect for that. His gravestone was also stamped with a flag and so on because he was a vet and I would not disrespect that.

    This guy was just an obsessive and bitter jerk who let that overcome his maturity. Obviously he and his former wife suffered through a very ugly divorce. He has since remarried, but he never moved on. I wonder what it says about his current wife that she is his enabler in this gross ritual. There’s also got to be a law of diminishing impact. Deface someone’s grave once, and it might have some shock value. Deface it twice, and you are showing that you are a vandal with apparently too much time on your hands. Deface it day after day, and you are clearly just stuck in the hatred of the past and have absolutely nothing else in your life.

    I can think of a lot of things to do daily that would have some benefit. Running a mile everyday would benefit your heart. Eating an apple everyday would benefit your digestion. Working on a model of something everyday would eventually benefit your bookshelf. Reading from a history book every day for some period of time would benefit your knowledge base. Saying vespers every day might benefit your soul if you so believe. Putting $2 in a coffee can everyday will eventually benefit your pocket. Defacing your former wife’s grave with bodily fluids and waste? Nobody benefits from that, including you.

    Frankly, I’m surprised that the woman’s son hasn’t taken matters into his own hands, since apparently no one else is going to do anything about this. Somebody does something like this once, you shrug, clean it up, and walk away. Somebody does something like this again, you start to wonder exactly what the problem is. Somebody does this every freaking day, eventually you should confront him and ask him what the hell he’s doing and why he’s doing it every freaking day, then tell him to stop or else, because this nonsense has exhausted its minimal appeal. Nothing has any appeal when you do it again and again and again. I remember when I was in chorus in college, we, like most groups had a few cut-ups. He through in a sarcastic comment here and there while we were working on this one particular piece that I don’t think anyone in the group liked. Then he would make the same comment every day or every rehearsal. It annoyed the director no end, but because he laughed and gone along with it a couple of times, there was now no stopping it. Well, we all returned after summer break, and this clown now started to do the same crap. The director pulled him aside after rehearsal, and although I know you’re not supposed to eavesdrop, I did just that, and heard him say something to the effect of “I’m determined to stamp that out before it starts. When you walk out that door, you best consider it stopped before you walk back through it again or not walk back through it again.” That was the end of that. The mistake with perennial problems is not nipping them in the bud.

  2. Seems like the Tappan Reformed Church Cemetery could have him trespassed from the property. If he’s stupid enough to continue to keep doing this, he could be arrested and eventually jailed.

  3. Unethical, I would say. There’s no ability for a dead person to rectify a wrong. If there’s no way the surviving family can rectify it either, drop the grudge, and move on with your life.
    Also, would this qualify as public urination? Or does it not count as a crime, since the graveyard is presumably private property?

  4. “Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”

    Attributed to multiple sources.

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