To be fair, this recognition of John Kerry’s remarkable career as a human representative of the genus Mustelidae is probably years too late. As you can see here and here, Kerry’s weasel credentials as proven by his Ethics Alarms dossier are outstanding. Most recently, Kerry mouthed some boilerplate climate change blather as the Biden administration’s “special envoy.” Before that, Kerry caught my attention by warning an audience that if Donald Trump was re-elected, there would be a “revolution” (speaking of ‘fear speech’!) and implying that the 2004 Presidential election was stolen from him by nefarious means.These, however, were standard fare for a career mediocrity and lifetime weasel; Kerry had established his bona fides long ago.

After all, he rose to political prominence by calling his former brothers in arms still fighting in the jungles of Vietnam war criminals. When he first ran for the Senate in Massachusetts, his campaign literature was festooned with shamrocks to appeal to the large Irish contingent in the state. Kerry isn’t Irish. Memorably, when called on the fact that he was running against President George Bush as a critic of the Iraq War despite having voted for it in the Senate, Kerry said, “I was against the war before I was for it.”

And you know me: I’ll never forget or forgive that when Kerry was flubbing his run for President against Bush and claiming to be a die-hard Red Sox fan (as the Sox had finally banished their “curse”  by winning the World Series), he was asked who his his favorite Sox player was and answered “Manny Ortiz,” a freakish hybrid of  the two prime sluggers on the 2004 team. In more substantial matters, Kerry broke the law by negotiating with Iran during the Trump administration, though the mainstream media whirled like dervishes trying to deny it.

There is much, much more. Though the Democrats have offered up some truly terrible people as candidates for President in recent cycles, Kerry is the worst of the worst. He makes Mike Dukakis look like Winston Churchill. He makes Hillary Clinton seem like Eleanor Roosevelt. Even Joe Biden, before he started leaking IQ points, looks relatively trustworthy in comparison to Kerry.

This week, however, came the capper. In 1971, Kerry told WRC-TV on November 6, 1971, that he returned his Bronze Star, Silver Star, and three Purple Hearts that had he received for his combat service because he believed the war was shameful, and , as he said later that year, “this administration forced us to return our medals because beyond the perversion of the war, these leaders themselves denied us the integrity those symbols supposedly gave our lives.” Indeed, Kerry led a protest of anti-war veterans in Washington, D.C. in which “many veterans were seen throwing their medals and ribbons over the fence in front of the U.S. Capitol.”

Yet when he attended King Charles’ coronation festivities this week, he was dressed thusly…

Ethics Alarms congratulates John Kerry on the distinction of being named the first Ethics Alarms Lifetime Weasel. He could not be more deserving.