The First “Bite Me!” Award of 2024 Goes To…The Department of Transportation

Last January, Ethics Alarms introduced the “Bite Me!”, an Ethics Alarms designation reserved for either an individual whose “response to being bullied, pressured and threatened into submissiveness is to say, “Do your worst. I believe in what I am doing, and I don’t grovel to mobs,” or as used several times in the course of 2023, the author of unethical conduct that demands the response, “Bite me!”

Our increasingly (under President Biden) power-abusing and dictatorial federal government ranks the first “Bite Me” of 2024 for this “Karen”-ish nonsense: the federal government is asking state agencies to stop posting traffic signs using humor, like one above in Maine, and has given the states two years to ease off the funny stuff, after which the “or else” will kick in. DOT says that funny signs can be distracting, and, of course, since all Americans are hopeless sheep who must be protected from even the periodic ill-timed giggle, Biden’s micro-managing minions think it is in their legitimate jurisdiction to dictate the tone and wording of traffic messages.

Bite me!

I never saw a Burma Shave roadside sign sequence—believe it or not, I’m too young—but I remember the fond remembrances of my father regarding the famous advertising campaign, and read several articles about the rhymed gags in Readers Digest, American Heritage, and elsewhere. Surely you must have heard about them…

In none of the fond accounts was it suggested that the signs were a menace, or that they had caused accidents. If they ever did, it was the fault of the drivers, not the signs. I’ve seen many, many more eye-catching sights while driving than a funny sign, and so have you. I’ve actually passed this one, for example…

Driving long distances can be boring and soporific: I had one episode where I totaled my vehicle falling asleep at the wheel. A funny sign or two might have saved my favorite car ever, the green Oldsmobile Aurora, just two weeks after I finally paid for it. The more humor states put into their warnings and announcements, the happier I’ll be. Or as Burma Shave might have put it…

If I break the law

Go on, indict me.

But we need smiles

The Feds

Can bite me.

Burma Shave.

***

[The WordPress AI bot wants me to tag this post, “Myanmar.”]

8 thoughts on “The First “Bite Me!” Award of 2024 Goes To…The Department of Transportation

  1. I’ve seen those signs in large metropolitan areas like Chicago. They’re no worse than any other sign I’ve seen out there.

    Mayor Pete trying to prove he is accomplishing something, I guess?

  2. I would love for the state DOT where I am to ease off the stupid jokes. They are never clever and rarely are the signs even used for their express purpose of notifying me of hazardous conditions on the road ahead.

    How many people started wearing their seatbelts because of a billboard?

    I am ok with the government banning itself from trying to tell bad dad jokes with tax money. They could put the temperature and chance of precipitation on the sign and be less dumb.

  3. If they’re going to contend that traffic signs cause accidents, what about the elephant in the car? All modern cars have a big TV screen in the center of the dashboard that is designed to distract drivers. How many crashes do those cause? That’s not even counting people who play with their phones whilst driving.

  4. I guess the DOT solved the issue of highway signs being too easy to hack. Most recent article I could find after a cursory search was from 2019. If the DOT can prove that the humorous signs are causing more accidents than strait laced signs, then they can justify setting new guidelines. I’m not certain that they did. The fed provided example, UNBUCKLED SEAT BELTS FINE + POINTS, is ambiguous. Is it saying that not wearing your seat belt is fine? I doubt it, but with the government, you’ll never know.

  5. Mission creep, just like with EPA & most government agencies. They have to keep looking for “problems” to justify their existence at current levels, or increase their budgets.

    Maybe you weren’t in the right part of the country, or didn’t travel the right roads to see the Burma Shave signs. I’m a bit younger than you, and I remember seeing them.

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