Shut up and be funny, Jim.

Jim Gaffigan can be a funny stand-up comic, but whoever it was at CBS who invited him to write a political op-ed piece should be fired. Here it is, with a few comments from me…

“How are you holding up? Are you over it? I’m over it. I’m fine. At least, at times I think that. It’s obviously not what I wanted but that’s life. I’m not going to lie. It been an adjustment, but the world continues to spin.”

It’s an election, you fool. Just because you hang out with people who are Trump Deranged and think anything short of woke insanity, mandatory political correctness and free “gender-affirming care” for illegal immigrants in prison is fascism doesn’t mean this or any election is something you have to “hold up” after. This kind of talk spreads panic, paranoia, division and craziness. Shut up.

“And I’m an adult. I have children that are counting on me. I mean, they don’t listen to me, but I can’t just curl up in a ball and mope.”

Then you’re not an adult.

“Sometimes I’m embarrassed how detached I feel about it. The me from September would be ashamed of how well I’m holding it together. I’ve become the person giggling at a funeral.“

What “funeral”? Everyone should giggle at Democrats who act like you, except that, as Jack Nicholson said, “It’s not funny. It’s tragic.”

“I’ll admit it: I was blindsided…”

How in the world could anyone be “blindsided”? Harris was a terrible candidate. Her party had disgraced itself with its deception regarding Biden’s mental decline. The border collapse is outrageous, and costs had soared during the administration that Harris was part of.

“…but I knew this could happen.“

You knew that in an election that the polls said was close that either candidate might win? Wow. Who says comics aren’t smart?

“I prided myself on being the contrarian when all the other supporters were putting the cart before the horse. I’ve done my research. I read all the articles. I know the history. This has happened before. Not that long ago!“

Your research consisted of watching MSNBC, and you obviously don’t read “all” the articles, or even a reasonable range of them, or you wouldn’t have been “blindsided.”

“It will probably happen again.”

What are you talking about? Trump can’t be elected again. A Republican might defeat a Democrat? A candidate the Left supports will lose? If you’re going to write a political commentary piece, the least you can do is be clear.

“I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I do think about it. Mainly in the morning. It mostly lingers for a moment wanting to own my whole day. As I get my coffee, I always ask the same questions: ‘Is this real? How did this happen?’

This is the idiotic position people in movies and TV shows always default to when something terrible happens. “This can’t be happening!” They are morons, but the idea is that the horror is so beyond their experience that this blather is the best they can muster. But that for dramatic effect, it’s not supposed to enlightening analysis in an op-ed.

“I’ve done a deep dive on all the numbers, trying to figure out who’s to blame.”

Seriously? Nobody should have to do a “deep dive.” (And I don’t believe that you have.) Who to blame? Oooh, tough one: Harris, Biden, Jill, Jack Smith, Alvin Bragg, Fani Willis, Adam Schiff, “60 Minutes,” “Morning Joe,” CNN, ABC, NBC, NPR, CBS, people like you…There’s many more.

“Sometimes I think I care too much. Other times I feel my emotional state means I’ve lost the ability to empathize. I’m a numb shell of a former compassionate human.”

You’re an idiot.

“It happens every morning. Then I shake it off, wake my kids up for school, and face the reality: The New York Jets are not going to make the playoffs. They have Aaron Rodgers, Davante Adams, and that defense! All those weapons!  And they’re done. It’s brutal.“

Oh, that was the joke? That old bait and switch gag that dates back to the Ming Dynasty was worth an op-ed at CBS? See, he was talking about the Jets all along! Ha-ha! Fooled you! How hilarious! But he wasn’t, of course.

“Anyway, I’m okay. We’re going to be okay. Maybe…“

I don’t care what Jim Gaffigan thinks about anything, and nobody should. The “clown nose off/clown nose on” routine is annoying and cheap when smarter comics like Bill Maher and Jon Stewart do it; it’s unforgivable from someone like Gaffigan. I’ve heard his attempts to be funny on political topics before, as in a pathetic routine about climate change. Gaffigan talks about how foolish we will seem to our children when they ask why we didn’t pay attention to that Swedish girl. Funny. He has no independent or original thoughts and is incapable of perceptive analysis, yet CBS gives him a platform so it can pander to their Trump Deranged audience then avoid accountability by saying “I was joking” at the end.