I came so close to not finishing this pathetic lament from someone who has been lied, gaslighted and manipulated to the edge of madness. I’m not going to even bother to read Prof. Appiah’s answer: I thought he had finally stopped picking crazy Trump Derangement inquiries for his weekly column to pander to the Grey Lady’s warped reader base, but he’s back at it with this one.
She wrote, [Gift link! Merry Christmas!]
“I have a question about planning for the future in light of the recent presidential election and the prospect of potentially having a dictatorship in America. I’m a 33-year-old woman. For a long time I’ve wanted to start a family. I’m about to start investing substantial money into family planning. In view of climate change, overpopulation and now the result of the election, I’ve started to wonder if maybe it’s just not meant to be. There are so many wars going on, and with America turning isolationist, I fear for the world. It feels like everything is falling apart; there’s so much uncertainty, and it doesn’t feel safe anymore. Knowing everything we know about the strain that will be placed on our democracy, a gutting of climate protections and climate-change policy and threats to women’s rights, is it right to be wanting/planning to start a family? Or should I plan to adopt instead? Am I being overly cautious, or is it valid to reconsider?” — Name Withheld
Ugh. I will assume as a matter of comity that “Do the gene pool a favor and never have children. You are too ignorant, suggestible and idiot to safely procreate” flunks the civility, kindness and compassion test, but I don’t know where people like this go (and I know a lot of people like this) for genuine assistance when they lack basic critical thinking skills and have been so indoctrinated and confused in so many ways.
At one level, my response is,
“Oh, go ahead, be stupid. I suggest moving overseas like Ellen Degeneres. I can almost guarantee you will feel like the irrational hysteric that you are in a few years and suddenly realize that you left a much better place than you moved to, and that it’s too late to have kids, but frankly, I don’t care. The list of what you don’t comprehend and are incapable of learning is longer than “War and Peace.” I have neither the energy, time or patience to try to fix you. But you are an idiot. A lot of the reasons aren’t your fault: a corrupted educational system, popular culture that fell into the clutches of arrogant ideologues, ruthless politicians who resorted to fearmongering and Big Lies to keep you frightened and easily manipulated. Still, every individual needs to master certain life skills or pay the price, and you are currently paying the price of never mastering a basic one, which is learning not to believe everything you read or hear because your friends do. I do feel sorry for you. I wish there was something that could be done for someone over 30 who thinks like you do. I don’t think there is. So go ahead, be childless and fearful. Go find some like minded people to huddle with; at least that may give you some comfort. Good luck. You’re going to need it.”
Oh, after getting that out of my system I became curious about what “The Ethicist” said after all.. He obviously thinks she’s a cretin too, but pretends to try to reason with her for the benefit of his less brain-damaged readers. His last sentence is “If having a child is always a form of hope, not having one because you’re sure what lies ahead can, I fear, be a form of hubris.” What are the odds of someone writing a letter that moronic knowing what hubris means? His response isn’t really responsive to my question: is there anything that can be done for her?
I don’t think so. Maybe a cult is the answer..
Ethics Alarms 
Que Sera, Sera https://youtu.be/xZbKHDPPrrc?si=hCb4Gfl0f7BEmFDg
I say Name Withheld is an idiot that shouldn’t reproduce.
The end.
Yup, I wrote that without reading past her signature significant question.
Oh oh. We both had the same immediate reaction.
As you can probably figure out from my blog post today, I think most of the TDS sufferers have completely lost most of their minds. It’s truly sad.
Jonathan Turley just posted something very similar to my On The 76th Day of Election… post, Jonathan’s is titled “The Joy is Gone: A Liberal Hate-Fest for the Holidays“.
Lefty’s positively consumed with hate, what a horrible way to go through life; infinitely worse than fat, drunk, and stupid!
PWS
fat, drunk, and stupid
I couldn’t help but noticing that “climate” gets three mentions in her letter, but “husband” gets none. Also absent are the words “partner” and “father”. In fact, I see a lot of “I” but not a single “we”. Is she intending to “start a family” as a single woman? And if so, doesn’t that at least merit mention among her concerns, at least as much as the federal government’s climate policy for the next 4 years?
Interesting observation.
A symptom of the death of marriage as the only societal license to have children, with the final nail in the coffin being same-sex marriage.
Declining birth rates is an obvious result, but this mindset is another result–when a woman’s biological instincts start kicking in, her mind turns to who (or what company!) can provide her with the best genetic material for a child, rather than to who would make the best husband, partner, and father for her future family.
Apparently contracting TDS is almost as deadly as playing hand puppets in Cleopatra’s cobra den. Those stricken are deaf to logic or reason. They are blind to not only what is going on around them, but to what President Trump did, and didn’t do, the first time around. Their brains can only focus on to-this-point unrealized fears about the destruction of democracy, the loss of the ability to butcher their unborn children, and a climate that will eventually annihilate them, though nothing detrimental has happened with it in my lifetime.
They know the media lies to them all the time. The latest numbers – if they can be believed – show that 70% of Americans know the media lies to them. And yet, they buy the lies.
Unbelievable…
“They know the media lies to them all the time. The latest numbers – if they can be believed – show that 70% of Americans know the media lies to them. And yet, they buy the lies.”
KAYFABE…?
PWS
It is very easy to mock and deride someone who is silly enough to believe the mainstream media and all the horror stories the left has subscribed to. I like feeling superior for not believing in this version of fantasy land. I felt superior when I was not one of the wackos who declared themselves part of the Navi in Avatar, and I’m feeling the same general happiness when recognizing that I’m not so far gone as to believe this current set of beliefs. Indeed, it is tempting to feel even more so, because so many of my contemporaries follow this insane set of beliefs.
However, I think we need to dig deeper than the mocking laughter this letter so easily inspires. What is this woman really saying? First, she is discussing a desire to have children. This is a desire that fewer and fewer women are subscribing to, usually to their and to societies eventual sadness. Therefore, this desire should be encouraged. Second, she is fearing that we are entering a time of tribulation. Before addressing this in any depth, we should consider what she is probably meaning with these two concerns. The first worry is likely that she feels that bringing a child into this world in a time of trouble means that her child may suffer. The second worry is that in bring a child into this world in a time of trouble would cause this woman to suffer.
The concern of bringing a child into a world in a less than perfect time causing the child to suffer is not a valid one for several reasons. First, the USA, under Trump or not, is better than many if not most places in the world. In addition, the world in 2024 is a better place than nearly all of human history. Less people suffer, and they suffer less than in the past. The human misery index is very low. Children are a joy to the human race, and the hope for the future. Man has always had children, even in tougher times than any we can illogically expect to come about today. The idea that the child MIGHT suffer in the perfect storm is still less likely than the child having a normal life and enjoying every moment his parents lovingly gifted him. Besides, in the best of times, a child will get illnesses and injuries. That is part of growing up. To quote Calvin, quoting his dad, “being miserable builds character.” As some say, if it were not for the heat or the hammer, the steel could not be honed. Adversity is what helps us become the best version of ourselves.
The concern of a parent suffering because they brought a child into a troubled world is ridiculous, because parents will always suffer for their children. Labor is no picnic. Sleepless nights when breastfeeding are a form of suffering. Staying up with a sick kid, or sitting by a kid’s bedside when they are in the hospital for a tonsillectomy, appendectomy, or croup is not exactly enjoyable. Holding them still so a doctor can give them stitches is incredibly painful, even before they kick you. I certainly feel greater pain than my children when they are sick and in misery and I wish I could take their suffering from them, even if it is a good suffering. Heck, it really does hurt me more than my child when I have to discipline them. And again, in the perfect utopia of a Democratic paradise, a child will still cause their parents suffering. Children will be born with special needs. Children will slip past an exhausted or distracted parent and fall into a pool or run into traffic. Accidents will happen, no matter what we do. Also, children will grow up and make poor decisions that cause parents all kinds of heartbreak. (I could mention that many democratic policies make some of those decisions more likely, but that would be of little use talking with this woman.) In short, being a parent is accepting suffering in the course of bring joy to ourselves and others.
My final thoughts on this involve a song by Garth Brooks. “Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance.” Today, too many people have become convinced that no dance is worth the pain we may have to suffer, especially if we only imagine what the pain may be. I choose the dance.
This is a COTD if I ever saw one, Sarah. Beautifully said.
Since Elon Musk bought Twitter and rebranded it as X, I have re-engaged there. Although it’s a wonderful place to follow hockey, I find it the best place to follow what’s actually going on in the middle East.
I have become increasingly convinced that the true threat the West faces isn’t from Russia – far from it – or even China. The true threat comes from radical Islam. And western media tends to sugarcoat what’s really going on. Turn to western media, and the asshole who drove a van into a Christmas market in Germany the other day was an “ex-Muslim.” No, he wasn’t. He was a jihadist who lied publicly, but left plenty of traces of his intent on the Web. Things like that get quickly exposed on X.
Some of the most articulate people I follow there are Israeli women, who have have no illusions regarding the threat. There are an estimated 1.9 billion Muslims in the world – approximately 25% of the world’s population shares the faith. The vast majority of Muslims are peaceful, but if just 10% of Muslims are jihadists, that means that 190 million Muslims would have Jews and Christians dead or living under conditions amounting to slavery. Radical Islamists have announced their intentions in Europe.
The Israelis are doing the West an enormous favor these days. Closing the loop, these Israeli women are still cranking out babies, God bless them. And are proud to do so. They recognize that having babies isn’t just a source of joy – it’s a source of survival.
Whatever “name withheld” believes, she does her faith no service by keeping her knees locked. That’s probably for the best. She lacks the strength to raise a kid who can deal with what’s coming.
Beautiful.
Sonny and Cher’s “And the Beat Goes On” also comes to mind.
I’m also fascinated by the seismic societal changes that resulted from the availability of effective pharmaceutical or surgical birth since the ’60s. Until the advent of such therapies, not having children was simply not really an option by any means other than abstinence. And good times or bad, abstinence has never been a statistically significant phenomenon.
Sheesh. “pharmaceutical or surgical birth CONTROL!”
Comment of the Day, Sarah. Brilliant.
This is very well written, as I have come to expect from Sarah every time she responds here. The only problem is this: it’s her that’s doing the critical thinking and deeper analysis. The woman who contacted the Ethicist isn’t…and hasn’t…and probably won’t.
I don’t believe she’s considering any of the things this COTD dissected so well. Had Kamala Harris won the election, this letter would not have been featured by the Ethicist, because it would not have been sent, because the woman would not have written it, because she would feel that all the problems with world would be solved by those standing behind the “Harris puppet” and moving the levers.
She gives it away by immediately stating that the election drove her fears of a dictatorship.
There are plenty of real, serious, potentially catastrophic problems in this world that should give prospective parents pause…and as a Christian, I believe there will a whole lot more of them before things get better. Sarah thought about them and crafted a great response to THOSE fears.
By contrast, the woman who wrote the Ethicist mulled over nothing, choosing rather to parrot what the liars in the media told her, all while hiding behind the emotionally-charged barrier of motherhood.
“What are the odds of someone writing a letter that moronic knowing what hubris means?”
Cracked me up, Jack. Thank you. Popped right off the page like a bolt out of the blue.
Reminds me a little bit of the Bob Newhart quote about country music:
“I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down.”
“Three chords, and the truth.”
No one has to listen to country music, but it’s definitely a thing. And it’s become watered down over time. I once heard Hank Williams referred to as the American Shakespeare.
It’s interesting to me that she considers Americans’ reluctance to get involved in foreign wars as a reason not to have children. Would she want potential children to grow up and join the military and go fight in those wars?
Her entire argument is self-contradictory. Id she’s worried about over-population, the climate change cataclysm she’s terrified of should solve that problem.
Up front, let me say that I am not in the isolationist camp of the GOP. I do recognize that there has been a growing sentiment in that direction.
But that prompts me to think: It is undeniable that there has always been an isolationist streak in the U.S. We are separated from the Old World and the Far East by two enormous oceans. That is still significant, although not so much so as in the first century and a half of our independence.
It is not trivial for major national forces to reach the United States. On the other hand, it is somewhat trivial for individuals (e.g. terrorists).
We have historically been largely independent of resources from overseas — this country was blessed with an abundance of so many things (partly, of course, because it’s so doggone big).
———–
So, from the beginning there has always been a significant segment of our citizens who want nothing to do with any country outside the Americas. That has included immigrants even though it is also a source of pride that so many people wanted to come here. Each wave of immigrants has faced discrimination and prejudice, and has had to work to become assimilated into American society.
Running alongside all this, while we might want nothing to do with the outside world, the outside world is often eager to slap us upside the head. Reference the Barbary pirates, the French occupation of Mexico, incursions from Mexico into the U.S. in the early 20th century, the continuing Spanish occupations of and atrocities in Cuba.
We as a country were led into WWI by an idealistic president — and from our point of view, after we Saved The World ™, The World was mightily ungrateful. So we said the hell with them until the Japanese convinced us to join in the fun of WWII.
After the Allied victory, we took away the lesson that it wasn’t a good idea to ignore the world, a lesson reinforced by Communists taking over China and their unprovoked invasion of Korea. We embarked on a new crusade to Save The World ™, utilizing tools like the United Nations, NATO, SEATO and back by American military and economic power and influence.
—————————–
My tone is a bit light hearted, but that doesn’t mean I think this was the wrong thing to do. I think it was absolutely a Good Thing, noble and all that and produced great things for the world. It also got us to try and learn how a traditional Great Power did things and that maybe we needed to be cynical and cold hearted ourselves. I will just make the point that those traits are really not our strong points as a country.
But one of the key things that made all this work for us was that we had leaders who were able to lead and to explain their vision of what the country needed to do. People like FDR, Truman, Eisenhower, even JFK.
But Reagan was really the last president we’ve had that could effectively present a vision for the country. Especially the last 15 years, this has been sorely lacking. I have believed for a while that one of the main reasons we’ve seen for the falling away of support for Ukraine has been the utter lack of Biden articulating any reason we should support them, aside from ‘Putin should lose’. That is true, but he’s never said why we should be involved nor why it might be a Good Thing for Ukraine to win.
I don’t know that Trump is up to the task, but he certainly had significant foreign policy accomplishments the first time.
Not to be too snarky, but he’ll certainly talk to us about it — I mean, you cannot shut the man up, am I right? Obama and Biden seem to heed the motto of “Speak loudly and carry a small stick”. Whatever else, that will not be Trump.
———–
So, my conclusion is that yes, we might be fixing to stick our head in the sand, but it’s something we’ve done before. What seems to happen is that the Bad Guys figure that since we’re trying to ignore them, we must be patsies — instead of tiptoeing around the sleeping giant, they kick him in the head. It’s happened more than once — it may happen again.