We shall see if the ethical value of accountability is completely dead in our culture by how many people are fired by Major League Baseball in the aftermath of the Great Baseball Cap Disaster of 2025. It should be a lot.
Baseball finally figured out that the clubs could make a lot of money by constantly adding new uniforms and baseball cap options to each team. (I blame former Commissioner of Baseball Peter Ueberroth, whose entire function during his tenure was to modernize the sport’s merchandising and public relations.) I thought this hustle had reached its apotheosis with the dreadful “City Connect” uniforms that were inflicted on the teams a few years ago, creating inexplicable eyesores like this for the RED Sox…
but the sport’s greed and lack of taste knows no bounds. Fans and collectors actually bought those jerseys and caps (to be fair, some of the redesigned uniforms aren’t quite that bad), along with the “vintage” uniforms and caps, the Mother’s Day uniforms and caps, the stupid “nickname” jerseys, the boring All-Star team jerseys and caps, “turn-back-the clock” uniforms….As P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”
So someone got the bright idea to foist these ugly team caps off on the public, since obviously baseball fans will buy anything:
Behold the New Era Overlap 59Fifty Collection caps, and as you can see, each team’s cap logo is superimposed over its other logo, sometimes the team name, sometimes the team’s city. They are all hideous, of course, but one of the caps is, or rather was, obscene. The Texas Rangers cap was quickly removed from the online stores of Major League Baseball and the teams because somebody realized, a bit late, I’d say, that it spelled out a Spanish vulgarity for a woman’s breasts.
The Rangers were unaware of the design before it was released, according to the Dallas Morning News, so nobody in that organization should be fired. Other caps send questionable messages, such as the caps of the Houston “Ashos,” the Los Angeles “Anaels,” the Philadelphia “Phiplies,” the “BOBON” Red Sox, and the “DEDOIT” Tigers. Nonetheless, all of those caps are available to fans for the low, low price of $44.99 each.
One of those Texas “Tetas” caps, meanwhile, will be eventually be worth a fortune.
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*The headline is a reference to a famous movie, and if you don’t recognize it, I’m ashamed of you.
Ethics Alarms 
I’m afraid to ask what t-shirts go for if hats are $45. I think I’ll get one of Bill O’Reilly’s “not woke” hats instead.
I tried to keep an open mind but there is not a single one of those designs that I like.
-Jut
“You may all go to HeTll, I will go to TeTas!”
-DaTid CroTkett
Bravo.
I like the Houston Ashos very much. Besides being very apt, it reminds me of a good friend and client’s then ten-year-old son authoritatively telling him one of his schoolmates was “an asso.”
The Tetas hat is reminiscent of the Chevy Nova being sold in Mexico.
No va = it doesn’t go.
Unlike the Nova, these hats are actually getting pulled due to the unfortunate resemblance to a Spanish slang word.
Baltimore’s caps aren’t the worst, but their new uniforms?
MONEY QUOTE (PTI’s Tony Kornheiser): “You don’t want to put it on, you want to squeeze it!”
PWS
New OLD uniforms. I saw the O’s play in those things long, long ago.
If you feel you’ve been injured by viewing either the new or the old Baltimore Oriole uniforms, you may be entitled to compensation; please contact the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe…
PWS
They say they are a tribute to the Brooks Robinson era. I don’t think I remember ever seeing those. They must have been from the era where the Bill Veeck White Sox were wearing shorts and otherwise awful softball uniforms, and Charlie Finley’s A’s were wearing white shoes and fairly garish color combinations. The all-orange unis make the players look like carrots. I’ve always liked black and orange or blue and orange as trim on unis. But not orange as the predominant color! Of course, all teams have all black unis to make sure they capture the gang banger demographic’s dough.
Good news: The Texas/Tetas hats are available on Ebay. Someone apparently has around 100,000 of them. One will cost you $36, a nice discount off the $44.99 original price, but if you buy 4 or more you can get it further discounted to $28.80, and it comes with free shipping.
I know I want one. Anybody want to go in together to get the extra discount?
https://www.ebay.com/itm/286402641679?_skw=texas+tetas+hat&itmmeta=01JP5YMWPN6A3HVW1NXR8JX2H4&hash=item42aeed7f0f:g:5iAAAeSwx0Fn0QtG&itmprp=enc%3AAQAKAAAA8FkggFvd1GGDu0w3yXCmi1dzpPnBeSfFWjY4CdrVWdMK4pe5salQ4duOccxsA5FYhT4UIkVNMgZPCtLnmTAO%2BuG%2FSFE%2F373hWbR8MuowcyxvP%2FcvbYouT5t%2FTI0XPAczwA8zLND7d5gL7KiBk8Y4qhhG71KxddD1%2Fl%2Fg0XYCdrDpR%2FHW8liGqhfDeBE3bLPjzWXPPJZDj3WhCJqN0ExvYJmI2X1s7CuNlJdNCmDQanrW9sVSrUQR%2B%2FSHg4Se8YnR8TgPNHhK9YVynPKwFQ396dWG0EKOOOoKHM%2FAbaDEHpACItOw5%2BPxbCaKsD90Yy2wJg%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABFBMvsvTvrFl
Fun fact: the Ashos and the Anaels were originally one team, but the owner decided to split them in two.
–Dwayne